Bryan Brizzard, a notorious bastard and owner of short-haul airline company Bryanair, hates everyone. He hates his suppliers, his employees, his passengers, and his wife and children. But, Dom Hazel discovers, he really loves his poodle, Oodle. And Hazel is an animal assassin. But this time it's a kidnap and Brizzard's mansion is set in the Essex Woods where Hazel, who's trying to be faithful to Julie, finds temptation and confusion. And dogging. The plan threatens to fall apart as Hazel leaves behind more of his DNA than he intends.

Magda cleans up - and it’s more than just housework. She knows all about the call-center worker’s fake dating profiles and what the prospective MP gets up to when he slips into something more comfortable. She even knows about Claire’s secret inheritance, which is more than Claire does - and she knows how to tease out Claire’s husband’s infatuation. But can Magda turn a profit from all this knowledge? A hilarious romp through the private lives that only a cleaner really sees.

Gerry doesn't get out much, but when he does he encounters Mandy - free, a little wild, and half his age. But by day Gerry is Gerrard, who is not only married, he’s a vicar. A vicar with doubts. Although Lucinda, his wife, has very few doubts when a trip to Birmingham goes startlingly right. And ageing gigolo Nelson never sees himself as a messiah until Albert convinces him he can walk on water - or is that just revenge for Nelson having put his head down the toilet at school?

Once a famous artist’s model, Valérie’s allure hasn’t diminished–unlike her bank balance. Swapping her chic Paris apartment for a country chateau causes consternation among her coterie of admirers: a diffident philosopher who thinks smoking in cafés will lend him an air of sophistication, a philandering fraudster who doesn’t care who he pursues as long as they have a healthy bank balance, and a retired soldier whose bony backside is his only character flaw.

Travis's life is perfection. He has the looks, the car, the apartment and the women. Lots of women. Debbie says the sex is revelatory, which doesn't help Sheryl. And then there's Colin. Colin's life is bleak and without hope, and his sex life is so inconsequential that it is hard to assign it a proclivity in any direction. All Colin's dreams come true when, thinking he's working for MI6, he shadows Travis's life and goes on a journey of orgiastic debauchery. But things aren't quite as they seem as the noose tightens on Travis's perfect world.