I'd Like to Play Alone, Please cover art

I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

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I'd Like to Play Alone, Please

By: Tom Segura
Narrated by: Tom Segura
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About this listen

 From a massively successful stand-up comedian and co-host of chart-topping podcasts “2 Bears 1 Cave” and “Your Mom’s House,” hilarious real-life stories of parenting, celebrity encounters, youthful mistakes, misanthropy, and so much more.

Tom Segura is known for his twisted takes and irreverent comedic voice. But after a few years of crazy tours and churning out podcasts weekly, all while parenting two young children, he desperately needs a second to himself. It’s not that he hates his friends and family — he’s not a monster — he’s just beat, which is why his son’s (ruthless) first full sentence, “I’d like to play alone, please,” has since become his mantra.

In this collection of stories, Tom combines his signature curmudgeonly humor with a revealing look at some of the ridiculous situations that shaped him and the ludicrous characters who always seem to seek him out. The stories feature hilarious anecdotes about Tom's time on the road, including some surreal encounters with celebrities at airports; his unfiltered South American family; the trials and tribulations of parenting young children with bizarrely morbid interests; and, perhaps most memorably, experiences with his dad who, like any good Baby Boomer father, loves to talk about his bowel movements and share graphic Vietnam stories at inappropriate moments. All of this is enough to make anyone want some peace and quiet.

I’D LIKE TO PLAY ALONE, PLEASE will have readers laughing out loud and nodding in agreement with Segura's message: in a world where everyone is increasingly insane, sometimes you just need to be alone. Entertainment & Celebrities Celebrity Funny Witty Inspiring
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This book was high and tight from the start to the finish. It’s funny, touching (my camera through the fence), nostalgic and genuinely authentic to Tom. I binged it as soon as I could. I love that Tom reads it himself.

Top dog would be so proud. 5/5 jeans, homie. 👖👖👖👖👖
Can’t wait to see you in Australia in 2023!

5/5 Jeans!

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Tom is funny as always and easy to listen to, the hours peeled by with this audiobook, loved it, wish there was more!

Hilarious, try it out.

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A great insight into the inner working of tommy buns don't worry I'll be coming up in may

Fantastic listen

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What a book! Tom gives us what we want; laughs, honesty about being a parent, losing a loved one and how to keep it high and tight! This was a joy to listen to; to hear the sincerity and joy in Toms voice was refreshing. Thanks mommy

Amazing !

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if you don't listen to this, your life will amount to nothing. For real, like legit

what a fucking legend

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Great story teller and his inability to hold it together made us laugh even more 😆

Very funny

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Was a nice change for me to listen to something like hearted and funny like this book. Was easy to get through and a nice break from the business and motivational books I normally listen to

Entertaining story telling

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This is by far my new favourite book. It's flawlessly read by the man himself, Tom Segura. With every sound effect or near perfect impression, I couldn't be more impressed with his delivery, there's reading a book and there's experiencing a book. This book is for sure an experience, and well worth the the listen/read.

beautifully delivered/constructed

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Free audible. Free trial and everything else man. Here's the deal man. Men from jail, homeless or um, if you're a thug, you wanna listen to it listen to it. Your friend can listen too man. Free audiobooks, you get first month free. Read me. Listen to me, I'm home here now. If you want to listen with me and you wanna come over today and try it out, try it out man. If you're in my building. Try it out. Serious replies only. Just listen with me. I'm looking for hardcore readers and mean it and wanna do it and I want it delivered. I'm a hot white trash reader, let's whispersync."

Try it out

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Huge fan of Tom Segura and this book had me engrossed from the first chapter, smashed it out in one day and absolutely loved it. Couldn’t recommend it enough, give it a crack.

Loved it

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