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How to Be an Ex-Footballer
- Narrated by: Simon Darwen, Peter Crouch
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
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Publisher's Summary
Brought to you by Penguin.
Often recruited before they've worn long trousers, today's footballers become superstars who earn huge amounts without ever learning much about the world beyond the training ground. Coddled by their support teams, everything is done for them. They live their lives in the glaring media spotlight, yet only really develop one life skill—how to kick a ball better. Then inevitably, when age catches up with them or injury strikes, these man-children are thrown out into the real world, utterly defenceless apart from their multi-million-pound bank accounts.
So what do these Peter Pans, whose careers end just as most people's are getting going, do with the rest of their lives? Crouch speaks from his own experience and discusses with fellow former professionals too—just how do you safely release a near seven-foot striker back into the wild?
Peter goes in search of the answer to what his second career might be and encounters stories far more bizarre than anything you'll find on the pitch. From the pleasure and pain of management to the lessons we can learn from Jamie Carragher and Joe Cole on not going to seed. From those staying in the sport—the diehard veterans, coaches, managers, owners and of course the legion of pundits, to those moving on to pastures new. Peter talks to entrepreneurs, men of the cloth, eco warriors, artists, private detectives and budding actors, as well as those who've lost their way in addiction, crime and NFTs.
When the final whistle blows, it's still all to play for.
Critic Reviews
"The funniest man in British sport." (Metro)
"Peter Crouch is a comedy genius." (Daily Mail)
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Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Helen D
- 17-02-2023
Crouch = hero, but should have narrated
I really enjoyed most of the chapters; he's an engaging and insightful writer with some fantastic stories. A couple of chapters were over-long, particularly the ones regarding politicians and the one about players who have gone on to other careers - but that's really a small niggle - that's what the 'skip ahead' button is for!
The narrator was disappointing. He spoke in the first person, but sounded like he had a bit of an impediment; the way he often pronounced 'd' and 't' (particularly at the end of a sentence) made him sound like he was impaired in some way. It was distracting, and I almost gave up - but I learned to live with it.
PC himself is a very funny and pleasant character, and I look forward to reading any other books he may write.
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- Andrew
- 05-08-2023
Narrator boring
Great story but wish Peter had narrated it again himself as the guy who I did do it lost all the jokes and funny side of it.
I would honestly say don’t bother.
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