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How to Be a Footballer

Narrated by: Peter Crouch
Series: How to Be a Footballer, Book 1
Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (67 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Brought to you by Penguin. 

Ever wanted to know what it is really like being a Premiership footballer?

Here is the ultimate guide from the much loved everyman of English football, Peter Crouch.

Towering at six feet seven inches, Crouch is prized for his self-deprecating humour, having famously answered the question “what would you be if you weren’t a footballer?” with the one liner “a virgin”. At the same time, he has had an incredible career, from World Cups to Champions League finals. He has scored more headed goals than anyone else in Premiership history and has a better goals-to-minute on the pitch ratio for England than even Michael Owen. A humble professional with a great sense of humour, Crouch is one of the few players that is liked by fans of all clubs. Of course, this is probably because he’s played for most of them.

Now nearing the end of his stellar career, he shares everything he has learnt and tells it exactly like it is in How to be a Footballer, from the most colourful aspects of the game to what really happens on and off the pitch. Honest, candid and great company, this is not your standard footballer autobiography but a true insider’s guide to our favourite sport.

From a legend of English football, this is the most entertaining sports book of the year.

©2018 Peter Crouch (P)2018 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

"The funniest man in British sport." (Metro

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What listeners say about How to Be a Footballer

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Excellent

I really enjoyed this book. A great insight into life behind the scenes. Crouchy's personality coming out through the narration. A worthy purchase on Audible for sure.

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"Amazing"

I loved listening to this book, it helped me understand the life of a footballer and what it is like on the pitch. The sound quality is amazing and I recommend buying this book if you are into football or even if you just want something to listen to.

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Peter is a great story teller. Amazing insight

Worth reading even if you didn't support any of the club's he played for

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Brilliant

Such a smart funny account for football lovers or people around football lovers. Peter is personable and honest. Thanks

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An awesome insight and a great book.

I enjoyed this book as it gives great insight in the world of professional soccer, well structured and very entertaining. It took me some time to get the British accent but a couple of minutes in and the words is flowing.

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good light hearted read

a good insight into the inner lives of footballers. something us fans cannot really see just by watching and followong the game.

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Brilliant!

I really enjoyed this book, well down Crouchy!
Some great insights into the amazing, yet crazy world of being a professional footballer!

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Crouchy's Done it Again

Came here from the excellent Peter Crouch Podcast. So pleased Peter narrated,thoroughly enjoyed every minute. Back stronger!

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great book

Really enjoyed this book a great look in to the behind the scenes world of professional football. a great story told by a great player!

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Written & read by an old fashioned football legend!

Is there anybody in the football world who doesn’t like Peter Crouch? He’s a footballing gentleman and every football fan on the planet should listen to and enjoy this book. His stories of old and opinions of the modern game keep you engrossed and I’m sure like me, every listener would love an opportunity to have a beer with the man to hear more. Thanks for sharing Crouchy! (I mean.... Uch!)

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  • Anonymous User
  • 12-05-2019

Fantastic Honesty

Great insight by a great bloke who really loves the game. Great for Saints !

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  • Gareme
  • 16-08-2019

excellent stuff

A funny honest view from a seemingly genuine guy...even if you know nothing much about football it is a great take on modern life and celebrity

3 people found this helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 01-12-2018

Best footy book I’ve read in ages

Really enjoyed this! It offers a different insight into the crazy footballing world and Crouchy is the perfect tour guide to take you on that adventure!

Well written, well read, just good fun!

Nice swan Crouchy laaaa

3 people found this helpful

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  • Jackie Nobbs
  • 20-08-2019

Fantastic

Great Audio book kept me listening and good narration by Peter Crouch would definitely recommend

2 people found this helpful

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  • C. Taylor
  • 10-01-2020

A great book about a world too bonkers to believe

Taking a step back you soon realise how legendary a footballer Peter Crouch is, and how wide spread his knowledge and experience in the game spans. So who better to walk us through a world so few of us will ever see first hand.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Dirtydigestive
  • 09-08-2020

Fantastic easy listening.

Fantastic easy listening, full of insight and humour, made all the more enjoyable being read by Crouchy.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 02-08-2020

quality

Always love listening to crouchy, as honest and down to earth as they come.
Like most football based autobiography -some great stories.

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  • dean oakes
  • 24-07-2020

one of the best books I have listened too

Peter reads this book how it was intended to be read and i really enjoyed his book and felt some of the personal emotion he went through during his career. definitely a must listen to you will not be disappointed.

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  • Christopher Roe
  • 19-07-2020

Content OK, narration dull.

Some interesting insight into the lives of top footballers, but Mr Crouch is not a charismatic narrator. Only bother with this if you can tolerate hours of tedious monotone and incorrect emphasis.

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  • Scott WHU
  • 15-07-2020

Fun from start to finish

Kept me entertained throughout hilariously told by the main man himself. Worth a Listen if you like footy!!

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  • Jason A.
  • 12-07-2020

Brilliant, funny and honest

Loved Peter Crouch as a player and love him post-football, be it books, tv or podcasts

Great writing touch for a big lad.....