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How to Be a Footballer

Narrated by: Peter Crouch
Length: 7 hrs and 36 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (23 ratings)
Non-member price: $33.43
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Publisher's Summary

Ever wanted to know what it is really like being a Premiership footballer?

Here is the ultimate guide from the much loved everyman of English football, Peter Crouch.

Towering at six feet seven inches, Crouch is prized for his self-deprecating humour, having famously answered the question “what would you be if you weren’t a footballer?” with the one liner “a virgin”. At the same time, he has had an incredible career, from World Cups to Champions League finals. He has scored more headed goals than anyone else in Premiership history and has a better goals-to-minute on the pitch ratio for England than even Michael Owen. A humble professional with a great sense of humour, Crouch is one of the few players that is liked by fans of all clubs. Of course, this is probably because he’s played for most of them.

Now nearing the end of his stellar career, he shares everything he has learnt and tells it exactly like it is in How to be a Footballer, from the most colourful aspects of the game to what really happens on and off the pitch. Honest, candid and great company, this is not your standard footballer autobiography but a true insider’s guide to our favourite sport.

From a legend of English football, this is the most entertaining sports book of the year.

©2018 Peter Crouch (P)2018 Random House Audiobooks

Critic Reviews

"The funniest man in British sport." (Metro

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Average Customer Ratings

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Crouchy's Done it Again

Came here from the excellent Peter Crouch Podcast. So pleased Peter narrated,thoroughly enjoyed every minute. Back stronger!

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great book

Really enjoyed this book a great look in to the behind the scenes world of professional football. a great story told by a great player!

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Written & read by an old fashioned football legend!

Is there anybody in the football world who doesn’t like Peter Crouch? He’s a footballing gentleman and every football fan on the planet should listen to and enjoy this book. His stories of old and opinions of the modern game keep you engrossed and I’m sure like me, every listener would love an opportunity to have a beer with the man to hear more. Thanks for sharing Crouchy! (I mean.... Uch!)

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Great yarn crouchy

Loved the listen crouchy. Always loved you as a Liverpool player. Lots of great stories in here! Loved the ending about Gerrard, great example for what a captain should be.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 01-12-2018

Best footy book I’ve read in ages

Really enjoyed this! It offers a different insight into the crazy footballing world and Crouchy is the perfect tour guide to take you on that adventure!

Well written, well read, just good fun!

Nice swan Crouchy laaaa

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Mr
  • 24-03-2019

Brilliant

One of the very best books I’ve had. Crouchy’s approach to his life is just superb and it feels like you’re listening to a mate.

Everyone involved should be rightly proud!

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-03-2019

legend

What a legend! Honestly struggled driving at times due to laughing at this man's banter. Cannot reccomend this enough.

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  • DJRWOT
  • 06-03-2019

Strong start but weak finish.

Nicely read from Crouchy. A good book, smartly broken up into different chapters, Transfers, Haircuts etc. My only small reservation was the lack of stories, what happened on this tour, who was like what off the field etc. Just a small gripe. Cheers though Pete!

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 05-03-2019

Brilliant

I have always loved Peter Crouch. He always seemed to live in the real world where many other footballers did not. I also chose this book as he narrates it himself. It's brilliant. I like the guy even more now. good old uch! (Get the book and you will know what that means.)

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  • James
  • 05-03-2019

Football Fans Must Read of the Year

I have to be honest I have always liked Peter Crouch even though of the many teams he had played none of them were my team. This book is exactly what I had hoped for funny but honest with an insight to the real world of football from a man who people seem to relate too.
A must read for any football fan A+

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  • Liam Mycroft
  • 05-03-2019

Loved it

Really enjoyable insight into the modern world of football from one of the most underrated players of his time. Humorous, but with good serious information too about life in the fast lane.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 26-02-2019

A great football book

Exactly what you want from a book by a professional footballer. Enough detail and insight in to the true world of a footballer to feel you have gained something from it but with a bit of light-hearted humour.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 26-02-2019

If you love Peter Crouch you will enjoy this book!

After listening to BBC’s podcast “That Peter Crouch Podcast” I was more than happy to purchase this audiobook.

Peter’s execution is fantastic as the narrator however the book itself for me is missing more stories about football. At times it gets to the actually part of “how to be a footballer” and unless you’re under the age of 16 it’s not going to happen. I guess I was looking for more of an autobiography than tips of how to act in the professional game. I’m sure this will come after his retirement but overall I felt lost at certain parts but the gems are hidden there, especially when he talks about Liverpool and the UCL final.

Purchase this book if you love a Peter Crouch or a Liverpool fan. For anyone else it’s a hard push.

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  • Tteach23
  • 22-02-2019

Made me smile - a lot

Really enjoyed this book. Nice touch that Peter Crouch narrated this himself. Lots of name dropping and lots of humour mainly aimed at himself. It saddens me about the bullying but he sets a very good example in how to rise above this.