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Hosed

Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Virginia Rose
Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (25 ratings)

Non-member price: $27.79

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Publisher's Summary

The world’s sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door....

He’s bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot that he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame-retardant coveralls.

He’s also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school.

I want to move in next door to Ryan O’Dell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister’s sex-toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.

Yeah, I’m the world’s oldest virgin code-writing nerd. And he’s the world’s hottest firefighter. And even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I can’t seem to control my libido when he’s around.

Where is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties?

Seriously...have you seen them? Anyone?

Maybe they’re hiding in his bedroom. With my heart.

Yeah, I know. I’m hosed. So hosed.

Hosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon, scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no cheating or cliff-hangers and ends with a banging-hot happily ever after.

©2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente (P)2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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couldn't put it down

laughing all the way through was awesome thinking I might reread as I'm sure there are bits I missed due to laughter

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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hilarious great read

was not the story i was expecting. but without a doubt one of the most funniesrt romcoms i have read or heard. this was my first ever from yhese authors and will eagerly search for more..

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The hero of the story is not human

if you are looking for lots of burning heat, this is not the book to read. But if you want to enjoy a cute story, where the hero is a furry animal, please read. I had a few laughs and chilled out listening to the audio.

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Soo funny!!! Well worth it but don’t read in public as you will literally LOL.

Crazy funny - I want a pet raccoon!!
So funny that if you listen to it in public you will look like that lunatic everyone is not so sure about cause you will be laughing out loud to the point of tears in your eyes.
A virgin takes care of her sisters sex you factory in a small country town (I won’t go into why the sister had to get away, I’ll save that for the book) and gets reacquainted with her high school heartbreak (who doesn’t know he broke her heart). Things come to a head when someone is sabotaging the factory. Add in a pet raccoon who loves chewing on the factory rubbish and gets into all sorts of fun and you have a recipe for a good book.

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Love Laughter with Romance ❤️

Fun easy listening romance with a furry twist, light hearted and good narration surprisingly funny

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Brilliant 💕❤️💕

Who knew that a scene stealing raccoon would be the best part in this fabulous story ..he is and his name is George ..brilliant .. all the characters are beautiful and you too will fall in love with them .. definitely worth a listen..❤️💕❤️

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Amanda
  • 20-01-2019

Super cute story

Narration was AMAZING!!! Anything with Jacob Morgan is pure gold :) and Virginia did a great job!
It was a unique story line with lots of funny times but not too many sexy times 😜 but even tho it wasn't the steamiest story ever, it is most definitely worth the credit!!!
Side note, the bonus epilogue in the raccoons point of view literally had me rolling on the ground laughing 😂

8 of 10 people found this review helpful

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  • kestergayle
  • 19-01-2019

Quirky, original, and fun!

Ok, I loved this. It was silly, sassy, funny, and a bit different.

We have the small Georgia town of Happy Cat, where a woman named Savanna has opened a sex toy factory. Some of the citizens are quite irate about that. But Savanna gets her heart broken, leaves town in her grief and ominous things begin to occur at the factory. Meanwhile, her sister Cassie comes to town to operate the factory in Savanna's absence. When there is a fire at the factory, firefighter Ryan comes to the rescue. They were in high school together, where Ryan unwittingly broke Cassie's heart. That's how the story opens.

But, the charm of this tale is in the small town setting, the quirky characters, and George Cooney, Raccoon Extraordinaire. The love story is sweet, the 'drama' is fun and intriguing, and the denouement is emotionally fulfilling. I laughed many times while listening, and smiled hugely the rest of the time. If you like Lauren Blakely's books, I think you'll like this too. There is some angst, but it's not overdone, mostly I just found myself rooting for these two (and George, of course!), and enjoying my little trip to Happy Cat. I hope this is a series, because Ryan has some hot brothers, and of course there is still Savanna who needs an HEA. This is definitely a book I will listen to many times! (Be sure you listen to the second epilogue, it'll definitely make you laugh.)

The narration was perfect. Jacob Morgan/Zachary Webber was as wonderful as always, and Virginia Rose had just the right soft, sweet voice to perfectly embody Cassie. These two make a great team, and I'd like to see them paired up more often. If this does turn into a series, I certainly hope they narrate each volume! Frankly, I'd like to see them (and hear them!) more frequently in general. They are both too talented not to see more air time. I hope you're listening, Audible!

If you like humorous, unusual, contemporary romance, I think you'll enjoy this. It would be a wonderful pick me up on a blue day, a nice comfort read, or if you've just listened to something dark and heavy this would be a great mood lightener. It's not very long, so it would be a lovely book for the airplane or car, as well. I highly recommend this one!

10 of 13 people found this review helpful

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  • JenBus
  • 22-05-2019

Great book

This is a great listen. My heart was warm and fuzzy, I laughed and I listened to Jacob Morgan. He could read the dollar menu at McDonalds and make it sound enticing. Worth the credit.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • TALIA
  • 02-05-2019

This book was harilious.

ok 1st of all I bought this book because it was a Pippa Grant book. That alone is a winner for me. 2nd you just have to read this book, the bathroom scene alone, which includes Ryan & Cassie was so funny that tears were rolling down my face. I literly had trouble seeing to drive. 3rd the George Coony epilogue alone is enough to set anyone to rolling on the floor laughing. Truly it was priceless!
So please if you want to laugh so hard that you won't ever need to do crunches again then please buy this book. You sure won't be sorry, the romance is good, steamy parts are great, and the cast of characters are so well written its like they really are alive in Happy Cat, Georgia.
And no spoiler here but the bad character sure deserves a big old kick in the pants because the bad person will blow your mind.
So my fellow readers, happy reading.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • jill zombeck
  • 28-04-2019

Feel good and laugh out loud funny!

Okay, I loved this. It’s an easy, fun read with tons of sweet and funny moments. The bonus epilogue was my favorite part and induced some major deep belly laughter. If you’re looking for something light to enjoy in between heavy or dramatic reads, this is perfect!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Rose
  • 27-04-2019

Sometimes you need to just laugh

Funny and romantic. Loved the extra epilogue. I wonder If this is a series. I’d love to read about Savanna and Ryan’s brothers

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 21-04-2019

FIRE AND HEART

This is just a really cute story - love all the characters including the raccoon.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Cheryl
  • 14-04-2019

Silly and obnoxiously fun!

Wow, what a ride! This book has a lot of silly, but the community of Happy Cat is so worth it. You felt it. The gossip. The trash talking. The spirit.

Ryan and Cassie were cute, but I got ticked off at little bit with Ryan. Y’all need to check this book out if you want to know. I enjoyed their attraction, though.

Virginia and Jacob were great. Jacob can now add raccoon character voice to his resume. So good. I can’t stand how much I loved the extra epilogue.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Lisa Hines
  • 28-03-2019

Review: Hosed

Hosed by Pippa Grant & Lili Valente is their first co-written book in the Happy Cat series. Set in the town of Happy Cat and centralized around the Sunshine factory and the Sunderwell sisters this story is quirky, dramatic, entertaining, funny and a little bit nail-biting.

The narration is spot on with the talent bringing the characters to life making for a sexy and hilarious commute.

Cassie Sunderwell is back in her home town of Happy Cat to take over her sister Savannah's responsibilities at her Sunshine Sex Toys factory. So while Savannah is healing her broken heart eating scones and clotted cream in the United Kingdom, Cassie is learning everything she never wanted to know about dildo's, lube, and butt plugs. As a virgin, she can't even glance at a dildo without blushing but she is trying. Now if she could just figure out who is trying to sabotage the factory and stop her life from imploding she'll be golden.

Ryan's first glance at Cassie since her return is outside the sunshine factory after a lube fire mysteriously started. She is older now, matured from the young 16 year old he last remembers. Older, more beautiful, enigmatic and really not happy with him. Having no idea what she is mad at him for he figures he'll get a chance to work it out. She is staying at her sisters place which is next door after all. With a little help from George Cooney, his rescue racoon, he has high hopes.

With an underlying current of danger, the story also is romantic and funny. Just the right blend of everything from one of my favorite authors and someone I'm eager to read more of. Enjoy!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • reader
  • 27-03-2019

fun and enjoyable

clever story interesting characters fun with animals a crazy raccoon that's just so captivating. highly recommend

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • all the books are mine!
  • 08-02-2019

Fabulous romantic comedy

Loved this audiobook from start to finish. There was such an ease to the story. The whole thing just made me smile.
Loved the narration.
Recommended 😍

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  • Roobarb
  • 02-02-2019

Firemen and raccoons what more could you want?

This was such fun, silly, nice, intriguing and had a wonderful ending.

I hope to meet more of these characters in future