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Hosed

Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Virginia Rose
Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (44 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

The world’s sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door....

He’s bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot that he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame-retardant coveralls.

He’s also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school.

I want to move in next door to Ryan O’Dell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister’s sex-toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.

Yeah, I’m the world’s oldest virgin code-writing nerd. And he’s the world’s hottest firefighter. And even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I can’t seem to control my libido when he’s around.

Where is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties?

Seriously...have you seen them? Anyone?

Maybe they’re hiding in his bedroom. With my heart.

Yeah, I know. I’m hosed. So hosed.

Hosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon, scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no cheating or cliff-hangers and ends with a banging-hot happily ever after.

©2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente (P)2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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couldn't put it down

laughing all the way through was awesome thinking I might reread as I'm sure there are bits I missed due to laughter

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Exactly What You're After

Other than the fact that the title is a little uninspired, this book is exactly what you want it to be.
Slightly cheesy, but made better by the fact that the male narration is a flawless performance. Characters are good, and of course the story is very 'lucky' with many coincidences. Despite this, the romance (really, the only reason any of us chose this one) is played out well. And it's only a 6 hour read! Loved it.

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hilarious great read

was not the story i was expecting. but without a doubt one of the most funniesrt romcoms i have read or heard. this was my first ever from yhese authors and will eagerly search for more..

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The hero of the story is not human

if you are looking for lots of burning heat, this is not the book to read. But if you want to enjoy a cute story, where the hero is a furry animal, please read. I had a few laughs and chilled out listening to the audio.

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Soo funny!!! Well worth it but don’t read in public as you will literally LOL.

Crazy funny - I want a pet raccoon!!
So funny that if you listen to it in public you will look like that lunatic everyone is not so sure about cause you will be laughing out loud to the point of tears in your eyes.
A virgin takes care of her sisters sex you factory in a small country town (I won’t go into why the sister had to get away, I’ll save that for the book) and gets reacquainted with her high school heartbreak (who doesn’t know he broke her heart). Things come to a head when someone is sabotaging the factory. Add in a pet raccoon who loves chewing on the factory rubbish and gets into all sorts of fun and you have a recipe for a good book.

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Love Laughter with Romance ❤️

Fun easy listening romance with a furry twist, light hearted and good narration surprisingly funny

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Brilliant 💕❤️💕

Who knew that a scene stealing raccoon would be the best part in this fabulous story ..he is and his name is George ..brilliant .. all the characters are beautiful and you too will fall in love with them .. definitely worth a listen..❤️💕❤️

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  • Amanda
  • 20-01-2019

Super cute story

Narration was AMAZING!!! Anything with Jacob Morgan is pure gold :) and Virginia did a great job!
It was a unique story line with lots of funny times but not too many sexy times 😜 but even tho it wasn't the steamiest story ever, it is most definitely worth the credit!!!
Side note, the bonus epilogue in the raccoons point of view literally had me rolling on the ground laughing 😂

13 of 15 people found this review helpful

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  • Animoji_Farm
  • 22-05-2019

Great book

This is a great listen. My heart was warm and fuzzy, I laughed and I listened to Jacob Morgan. He could read the dollar menu at McDonalds and make it sound enticing. Worth the credit.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Yvonne Pohlson
  • 07-05-2019

Cute love story and entertaining but one scene too silly

For the most part I enjoyed this for a light romantic comedy, but scene where she gets “stuck” in toilet is silly and not believable to me.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • TALIA
  • 02-05-2019

This book was harilious.

ok 1st of all I bought this book because it was a Pippa Grant book. That alone is a winner for me. 2nd you just have to read this book, the bathroom scene alone, which includes Ryan & Cassie was so funny that tears were rolling down my face. I literly had trouble seeing to drive. 3rd the George Coony epilogue alone is enough to set anyone to rolling on the floor laughing. Truly it was priceless!
So please if you want to laugh so hard that you won't ever need to do crunches again then please buy this book. You sure won't be sorry, the romance is good, steamy parts are great, and the cast of characters are so well written its like they really are alive in Happy Cat, Georgia.
And no spoiler here but the bad character sure deserves a big old kick in the pants because the bad person will blow your mind.
So my fellow readers, happy reading.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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  • Jill Zombeck
  • 28-04-2019

Feel good and laugh out loud funny!

Okay, I loved this. It’s an easy, fun read with tons of sweet and funny moments. The bonus epilogue was my favorite part and induced some major deep belly laughter. If you’re looking for something light to enjoy in between heavy or dramatic reads, this is perfect!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Rose
  • 27-04-2019

Sometimes you need to just laugh

Funny and romantic. Loved the extra epilogue. I wonder If this is a series. I’d love to read about Savanna and Ryan’s brothers

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 21-04-2019

FIRE AND HEART

This is just a really cute story - love all the characters including the raccoon.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Cheryl
  • 14-04-2019

Silly and obnoxiously fun!

Wow, what a ride! This book has a lot of silly, but the community of Happy Cat is so worth it. You felt it. The gossip. The trash talking. The spirit.

Ryan and Cassie were cute, but I got ticked off at little bit with Ryan. Y’all need to check this book out if you want to know. I enjoyed their attraction, though.

Virginia and Jacob were great. Jacob can now add raccoon character voice to his resume. So good. I can’t stand how much I loved the extra epilogue.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • reader
  • 27-03-2019

fun and enjoyable

clever story interesting characters fun with animals a crazy raccoon that's just so captivating. highly recommend

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Nicole
  • 25-03-2019

loved it!

it was funny and sexy!!!!! I loved George the raccoon in it!!! The narrator's was perfect. Perfect book to follow behind a serious book or just to brighten your mood. will be re starting this book asap!!!!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • LilleyLoohLah
  • 04-11-2019

4 fully vibrating stars

What a completely sweet angst free romance, not quite second chance romance (they were never together to begin with), but it would appear both Ryan and Cassie had feelings for each other for a long time. When Cassie moves next door to Ryan (in her sister’s home), he can no longer hold back his feelings. Lots of romance, a little sexy time and a mystery that the whole town wants to solve. Let’s not forget George Cooney, the adorable raccoon that truly stole the show, I loved him. Oh, and just so you know. The whole story is based around a sex toy factory. Fun times. A completely enjoyable easy read. Feel food romance at its best. Wonderful writing, sweet characters and perfect narration. Jason Clark can do no wrong.

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  • HAPPYGOLUCKY
  • 07-07-2019

Amazing!!!

I loved everything about this book. Great MC's, great supporting characters, and a great storyline. The addition of the animals is just genius and the narrators nailed it. Can't recommend highly enough

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  • mhwasma
  • 02-07-2019

Brilliant

This audio book is so funny, I was laughing out loud at some points. I would definitely recommend this book. Jacob Morgan's voice is wonderful to listen to. Jacob is actually Zachery Webber so if you like his voice, theres more books you can search for. Virginia Rose voice was great too. They both captured the characters well.

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  • Binder Gata-aura
  • 27-06-2019

brilliant, funny, romantic

love the characters wished that it carried on and on, light hearted and a nice easy read and audio voices are great.

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  • all the books are mine!
  • 08-02-2019

Fabulous romantic comedy

Loved this audiobook from start to finish. There was such an ease to the story. The whole thing just made me smile.
Loved the narration.
Recommended 😍

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  • Roobarb
  • 02-02-2019

Firemen and raccoons what more could you want?

This was such fun, silly, nice, intriguing and had a wonderful ending.

I hope to meet more of these characters in future