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Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale

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Holy Cow: A Modern-Day Dairy Tale

By: David Duchovny
Narrated by: David Duchovny
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About this listen

A rollicking, globe-trotting adventure with a twist: a four-legged heroine you won't soon forget

Elsie Bovary is a cow, and a pretty happy one at that—her long, lazy days are spent eating, napping, and chatting with her best friend, Mallory. One night, Elsie and Mallory sneak out of their pasture; but while Mallory is interested in flirting with the neighboring bulls, Elsie finds herself drawn to the farmhouse. Through the window, she sees the farmer's family gathered around a bright Box God—and what the Box God reveals about something called an "industrial meat farm" shakes Elsie's understanding of her world to its core.

There's only one solution: escape to a better, safer world. And so a motley crew is formed: Elsie; Jerry—excuse me, Shalom—a cranky, Torah-reading pig who's recently converted to Judaism; and Tom, a suave (in his own mind, at least) turkey who can't fly, but who can work an iPhone with his beak. Toting stolen passports and slapdash human disguises, they head for the airport.

Elsie is our wise-cracking, pop-culture-reference-dropping, slyly witty narrator; Tom—who does eventually learn to fly (sort of)—dispenses psychiatric advice in a fake German accent; and Shalom, rejected by his adopted people in Jerusalem, ends up unexpectedly uniting Israelis and Palestinians. David Duchovny's charismatic creatures point the way toward a mutual understanding and acceptance that the world desperately needs.

©2015 King Baby, Inc. (P)2014 Macmillan Audio
Fiction Genre Fiction Literary Fiction Literature & Fiction Satire Comedy Middle East Witty

Critic Reviews

“[Duchovny's] zany, madcap first novel, Holy Cow . . . is a seriously entertaining fable that doesn't take itself too seriously . . Duchovny is a witty writer, and he's especially good at conjuring these oddball voices.” —John Wilwol, The Washington Post

“For one of the most engaging allegorial tales since Animal Farm, look no further than the surprising debut from Hollywood star Duchovny. His tale of Elsie, an American cow who learns the truth about her fate, is filed with humor and relevance.” —Time Out, Critics' pick

“*Starred review* "[Duchovny's] debut novel is a charming fable about dignity and tolerance, complete with anthropomorphized animals and replete with puns, double-entendres and sophisticated humor . . . Between the book's sly humor, gently humanist (animalist?) message and wry illustrations by Natalya Balnova, this is a pseudo-children's book that smart adults should greatly enjoy. An offbeat adventure that reads like Bill Willingham's Fables directed by Ralph Bakshi.” —Kirkus Reviews

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Loved everything about this. Such as creative and fun way to make deep philosophical points about there being more to unite us than divide us. Laugh out loud funny too. Loved hearing David Duchovny read his own words.

Bovine philosophy

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This is a thoughtful book full of humour. Duchovny has a lovely way with words.

Holy Cow

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I was surprised by how much I enjoyed Holy Cow, and how much I came to love Elsie and friends. Although it seems light-hearted and comic on the surface, there are powerful messages contained within, and the book was thought-provoking. David's narration is lovely, very expressive, and I loved hearing how he imagined the characters speaking.

Thoroughly Moo-ving

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In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.