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Healing Your Attachment Wounds

How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships
Narrated by: Diane Poole Heller
Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
5 out of 5 stars (35 ratings)

Non-member price: $50.21

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Publisher's Summary

Why do we experience recurring struggles in our relationships? And why do traumatic events - such as a physical injury, emotional threat, loss of a loved one, or other life crisis - so often awaken or amplify our sense of fear, anger, isolation, or helplessness?

From our earliest years, teaches Diane Poole Heller, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our intimate relationships, with our children, and at work. And traumatic events can deeply affect that core relational blueprint.

With Healing Your Attachment Wounds, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution brings together these two fields to help us understand and benefit from their complementary principles and methods.

This in-depth audio learning program sheds light on the three styles of insecure attachment - Avoidant, Ambivalent, and Disorganized - and the ideal fourth style of Secure attachment, where we enjoy a foundation of safety, adaptability, and intimacy with others.

The good news is that we can change, regardless of our early or current life experiences.

"As we heal and move toward Secure attachment," teaches Heller, "we become aware of triggers and patterns in our relationships. Our nervous system learns to be more regulated. Things don't throw us off so easily. And we open our capacity to love and experience greater compassion."

Through key principles, examples, and practical exercises, this program invites you to begin your own healing journey toward healthy vulnerability, wholeness, and connection with others.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.

©2017 Diane Poole Heller (P)2017 Sounds True

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A great resource

A very perceptive and succinct account of the attachment struggles we face in our relationships, including they’re origins and physiological processes. Very thorough and thoughtful and I would highly recommend to anyone experiencing relationship insecurity from childhood attachment wounding

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Highly recommended!

I have had reasonable understanding of attachment types through my work however have gained a much deeper appreciation of the patterns though listening to this audio book. The questions and exercises were also practical and beneficial. I have been telling many people of this valuable resource.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Great just want more suggestions

This is a really great book and has some great practical tips. Just leaves me wanting more information and tips

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  • Matt
  • 05-12-2017

Superb!

This is an excellent overview of trauma, healing and flourishing as a human from the attachment perspective. I've listened to a lot of other works about attachment, Stan Tatkin, Dan Siegel, Kinnison, Levine and Heller, Sue Johnson, etc, and this is one of my favorites. Just finished listening to it and looking forward to listening a second time. I found Diane Poole Heller's voice very pleasant. Highly recommended!

13 of 13 people found this review helpful

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  • Vanessa
  • 29-03-2018

Great book

I would recommend you first read “Attached” by Levine and Heller. Then read this book, it’s better to have a basis or orientation of your attachment style first. Then this book gives great exercises to help you move to a more secure attachment style.

9 of 9 people found this review helpful

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  • Peter
  • 01-04-2018

Kindling hope

Where does Healing Your Attachment Wounds rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Near the top, I always prefer books read by the author. Nuance, inflection, prosody and intonation combine to make the experience as close to sitting in the same room as is possible within this medium. Diane's reading of her own work is a shining example. Her authenticity is palpable. In the words of Stephen Porges, she conveys a sense of safety that allows deep penetration of the message. What more could you want in an audio book?

What was one of the most memorable moments of Healing Your Attachment Wounds?

Not a moment, but a message: that healing insecure attachment patterns is possible, and proven. After reading "Attached", and learning a solid foundation on adult attachment styles, the take away was less than hopeful for those with insecure patterns (still highly recommend that book!).
From this and other books I have come to realize there is nothing to fix, only wounds to heal. Fixing is a manmade construct for broken things, not living beings. We are born whole and imbued with the power to heal, our attachment system is no different and if given the right environment will do so naturally, as does a bodily wound. This concept makes sense to me. Diane lays out step by step how to create such an environment, shares her own and others experiences with deep and genuine compassion, her soothing voice and presence made it feel one on one, and left me feeling hopeful, for myself and others who might feel somewhat doomed upon first learning about adult attachment.

Which scene was your favorite?

"we were born ready to form secure attachments, the system is still there intact, we are just excavating it..."
This is a fresh concept I have not come across in any of the 3 other books I've read on the subject, I really appreciate the metaphor.

Any additional comments?

Learning about adult attachment theory has opened a window into my past and offered liberating insight into behavior that has eluded me for decades, no therapist has mentioned it to me before, sadly. This book adds revelation to insight by offering a strategy for healing. Hope is a powerful motivator! If you know what I'm talking about, you'll get a lot from this book. Highly recommended!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • M Scott
  • 01-01-2018

check yourself before you wreck yourself

I've heard it said that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Not just intimate relationships but any and all of them - in which the common denominator is you. If you have tried and failed repeatedly in your interpersonal history then you should examine your attachment functioning and manifest behavior in fine detail. Every interaction you ever have in life adds up, like raindrops - will the outcome be a powerful deep river that gauges into the bedrock or a scattered squall that dissipates across the barren plains?
Diane's work here will show you not who you are, but how you are - the hidden, reactive, maladaptive parts of your psychology that drive your behavior and lead to relationship difficulties. And some clues on how to correct these.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Nicholas Carter
  • 11-12-2017

Gold

Gold. This provided me with valuable insight into my own attachment style and the simple steps I can take to move towards secure. I also felt a lot more compassion for people I previously judged as horrible. And a positive way forward. I'll definitely be listening again.
This affects every aspect of life. I want to share this with everyone, and have already shared it with some friends. One thing that could have improved the listening experience is a suggestion that we pause as often as we need to, as Diane talks quite fast.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • MF
  • 08-12-2017

Exceptional!

Diane is a master in her field. I loved the clarity that she brings to the subject, and the myriad of examples that she offers. Her delivery is ecceptional. It was as if I was having a conversation with her, not listening to a lecture. I strongly recommend this audio.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Katerina
  • 17-12-2017

Awesome Narration

Book is a really lively summary of attachment theory, plus new insights that I didn’t gain from the popular Attached book. Her narration is very authentic, as if she’s talking to you in person or teaching a lecture, not just dryly reading text. Highly recommend!

4 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • Sigrun Sigurdardottir
  • 13-05-2019

nothing new, just basic

the reader sounded a bit "know it all" and I was expecting more. might be useful for some people. nothing wrong with the info just avarege storytelling and for me nothing new.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Becca Powell
  • 06-11-2019

A great read - clinicians and self-help buffs

As a clinician who often works with people that struggle with attachment issues and Trauma, I found the book extremely useful. Diane Poole-Heller does a great job reading the book in a personable and down to earth fashion, explaining difficult and often misunderstood concepts in a clear and applicable way. There's a realistic brightness and hope in how she explains the salient issues for those that struggle with attachment difficulties, and does a great job of not only normalizing them, but explaining how to best assist and accept those difficulties in an empowering way while interacting or helping a person heal.

The strategies and concepts that she presents reach deeper than cognition and behavioral patterns into the world of a somatically-based resetting of neuroceptive patterns that may have started in a sub-optimal way, but can be adjusted and solidified in the way people interact with those important others in their lives.

So for me it was a great read for tying attachment theory every search together with other concepts and cutting-edge methods related to polyvagal theory, somatic experiencing and related neuroaffective methods. The author articulates the connections in a really useful way that has definitely enhanced my practice.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 06-11-2019

practical attachment theory

great intro to attachment theory with very practical instructions to apply this wisdom to your life

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  • gw
  • 03-12-2017

practical approach to attachment styles

What made the experience of listening to Healing Your Attachment Wounds the most enjoyable?

Diane Poole-Heller's expertise and enthusiasm for the subject makes it a pleasant and engaging listening experience. Absolutely loved it.
Cleverly presented, instead of a comprehensive theory of each attachment styles Diane Poole-Heller draws on her experience and with a few questions she helps the listener to get a sense of each style. From there she introduces each style more with drawing a picture and examples, of how this looks like. There are exercises to help ourselves to overcome some of the challenges of certain attachment adaptations.... what is helpful to move towards secure attachment and yes, how this relates to adult relationships. Points to be aware of, how we can help each other,
I really liked that she has included a chapter on disorganised attachment. Such an important topic if we are to understand people who have had challenging child hood experiences... an understanding many therapists, doctors... and society at large would benefit from

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Sarah
  • 30-03-2019

Powerful

For me, a person who had heard about but not read about attachment theory, this was really eye opening. It dips into 4 main attachment styles, what you might feel in each, consequences of them but also how to speak to or live with someone of that type. It looks at how to look for someone with a comparable attachment style to you if you are single. Really interesting and lots of things that I will use in my life.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • SLH
  • 16-03-2019

Life-changing

Game-changer. So worth it. Really recommend. Great insight, and plenty of practical exercises and tips that have had a really good effect on my life. Thanks Diane Poole Heller!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • ec21
  • 21-10-2018

Awesome

Great information on attachment wounds, how they form, how to recognise them in yourself and others, and most importantly, what to do to heal and move towards a healthy attachment style.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • MxHarris
  • 07-09-2018

The missing piece

Everyone should know this. Incredibly invaluable for those wanting high quality relationships. I've learnt so much about relationships over the years, but a recent breakup, which I found very traumatising, lead me to seek this out. I'm so much better informed now and very hopeful and reassured.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Irene Billeter Sauter
  • 05-06-2018

Great insights!

Great insights in and explanations of, among others, avoidant attachment patterns and outlining of options about how to address them.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 19-05-2018

insightful

great book for understanding attachment and on a practical level.
it is great that the author is also the narrator. makes for an authentic and compassionate listen

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Sophie
  • 20-11-2019

Practical strategies to move forward

As a disorganised attachment style I found this book very helpful, rather than focusing on just finding someone with a secure attachment, it provided practical strategies of how to enhance secure within yourself and through relationships.

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  • Cornelia Dobb
  • 26-06-2019

Anyone planning to enter a long term relationship should listen to this book. I will

Wonderfully clear explanation of how our childhood attachment experiences influence our ability to connect with others as adults.