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Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?

Narrated by: Lucy Paterson
Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
5.0 out of 5 stars (1 rating)

Non-member price: $34.76

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Publisher's Summary

It’s normal for your washing machine to get more action than you, right? 

I wake up, bleary-eyed. 

It’s been two years, six months and three hours since I last shaved my legs, and the llama-patterned knickers I’m wearing have seen better days. 

We have seven minutes before the kids wake up, and my husband shuffles closer. "Ouch," he says, a piece of Lego sticking into his back. 

Then, a light comes on in the landing. Small footsteps creep down the stairs. A little voice screams, "Is someone coming to make breakfast?!" 

All hope of having some "alone time" is replaced with wondering if we’ve run out of Cheerios, thinking about the overflowing laundry, and remembering that I forgot to take out the recycling. Again. 

Just a typical Monday morning for the Morton family...

Except today, when I go downstairs in my dressing gown, I find something. Something belonging to my husband. Something that definitely wasn’t in the wedding vows. And it’s either going to make us...or break us. 

An utterly hilarious and unmissable novel for anyone who has ever felt like they spend more time washing the dishes than getting lucky. Fans of Why Mummy Drinks and The Unmumsy Mum, and rom-coms by Sophie Ranald and Sophie Kinsella, will ugly laugh at this gloriously funny and relatable listen. 

©2020 Kristen Bailey (P)2020 Bookouture

What listeners say about Has Anyone Seen My Sex Life?

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So funny

I seriously enjoyed Meg and Danny's story. Lucy Paterson is an excellent narrator. She does a brilliant drunkard voice, just hilarious. So many laugh out loud scenes, I listened to the majority of this book whilst travelling and had to actively remember not to chuckle to myself on the plane like a kind of psychopath. Do yourself a favour and read this book!

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 03-06-2020

Funny and heartwarming

Just kept wanting to listen to find out what happens. Lots of out loud giggles along the way.

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  • Jan M
  • 23-03-2020

Cheeky Listen!

Kristen Bailey has definitely grabbed my attention with this book. The storyline was original and the characters interesting. I loved the reference to the Llama knickers. Lucy Peterson brought the characters to life and gave them distinguishable voices. Her attitude and accents was refreshing and so fitting!

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  • Kirstie Bailey
  • 22-05-2020

A good giggle

Enjoyable and funny with a deeper story behind the title. I would definitely recommend a listen.

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 03-10-2020

very good read

I loved this book I laughed out loud many times think that the book is great loved it

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  • K.A.S.
  • 31-08-2020

A breath of fresh air..

I thoroughly enjoyed this funny, enlightening, cute, heart warming book. It was read beautifully too!

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  • Jo llewellyn
  • 24-07-2020

Great book

loved this book. narration was excellent. storey was fun and the characters were warm and fuzzy

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  • Rachael wade
  • 07-07-2020

Wasn’t bad

The narrator is really good at doing the different voices. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I purchased this book but found the story a bit boring if I’m honest. It didn’t grip me.

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  • Pauline Roylance
  • 27-06-2020

Absolutely brilliant, funny and heartwarming

Best book so far. Couldn't stop listening and didn't want it to end. Thank you.

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  • Sair0075
  • 24-06-2020

Simply Hilarious

I've not listened to an audiobook that was this genuinely laugh out loud funny for a while. Absolutely brilliant. Unbelievably British. So so good, definitely worth the time no matter how you read/listen to books. Just cracking!

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  • Sarah
  • 11-06-2020

Not bad,

The story was ok - a few chuckles along the way, but not really my cup of tea to be honest. I’m not going to slate it as I think this was just a case of me choosing the wrong book for my personal taste, it wasn’t badly written. Be careful who’s around when you listen, there are lots of detailed descriptions of peoples downstairs bits and bobs and what they do with them. It veers towards mummy porn here and there, but there was no need to deploy the smelling salts! Lucy Paterson is a fantastic narrator - I particularly love her depiction of drunk ladies, very accurate and very funny! There was however, a bit of an issue that, as a northerner, I found pretty distracting. Narrators certainly can’t be expected to know the intricacies of every single accent, but haway bonny lass - Kendal definitely isn’t a toon in Tyne and Wear pet!

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  • catherine parker
  • 03-06-2020

brilliant

Absolutely loved it!! Laughed all the way . couldn't stop listening to it . Fantastic

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  • Autumn Rose
  • 30-05-2020

Funniest book i have ever read!

Absolutely what the Dr ordered! The best pick me up book during lockdown! I laughed out loud from start to finish! So well written and the Narration made it all the funnier! I am 57 and found it hilarious and so did my daughter who is 30yrs...so dont be put off by the pram on the cover! Have a Giggle x