Harry feels downtrodden. Downtrodden by senior management, who have decided to retire him, and by his meddling, sex-obsessed father in law. But mostly by his wife, Hilda. And she tells him they must retire to Cornwall. Harry takes up a creative writing course, through which he can live out his fantasies - fantasies of murdering his wife. But Hilda reads his story and, lost on Bodmin Moor, is confronted with devil worshippers, a convicted call centre worker with a habit of cutting off fingers, and a birdwatching hitman.

Travis's life is perfection. He has the looks, the car, the apartment and the women. Lots of women. Debbie says the sex is revelatory, which doesn't help Sheryl. And then there's Colin. Colin's life is bleak and without hope, and his sex life is so inconsequential that it is hard to assign it a proclivity in any direction. All Colin's dreams come true when, thinking he's working for MI6, he shadows Travis's life and goes on a journey of orgiastic debauchery. But things aren't quite as they seem as the noose tightens on Travis's perfect world. 

Bryan Brizzard, a notorious bastard and owner of short-haul airline company Bryanair, hates everyone. He hates his suppliers, his employees, his passengers, and his wife and children. But, Dom Hazel discovers, he really loves his poodle, Oodle. And Hazel is an animal assassin. But this time it's a kidnap and Brizzard's mansion is set in the Essex Woods where Hazel, who's trying to be faithful to Julie, finds temptation and confusion. And dogging. The plan threatens to fall apart as Hazel leaves behind more of his DNA than he intends.

Arthur Cholmondely-Godstone is in the business of pensions. He offers a unique pension, from a nonreturnable sum, and he introduces his clients to a new way of living. He encourages them to explore radical views, try extreme sports and to eat, drink and smoke as much as they can. Or put another way, Arthur does his best to kill them.

Edward was a respectable architect when a disagreement over the wrong shade of Georgian red with Aubyn, a mean-spirited conservation officer, saw the full force of the law applied. Ian had been a successful accountant until he was shafted by dodgy PPI pusher Kevin. Their lives tumble and they end up in prison, where they meet Nelson, banged up after stealing a sapphire and a Bentley from a contessa in Monaco. An early release prompts Edward, Ian, and Nelson to take a road trip in search of a new life, revenge, and adventure. Will the vintage Bentley manage the trip?