Try free for 30 days

1 credit a month to use on any title, yours to keep (you’ll use your first credit on this title).
Stream or download thousands of included titles.
Access to exclusive deals and discounts.
$16.45 a month after 30 day trial. Cancel anytime.
Elf Defence cover art

Elf Defence

By: Lisa Henry, Sarah Honey
Narrated by: Nick J. Russo
Try for $0.00

$16.45 per month after 30 days. Cancel anytime.

Buy Now for $22.99

Buy Now for $22.99

Pay using voucher balance (if applicable) then card ending in
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions Of Use and Privacy Notice and authorise Audible to charge your designated credit card or another available credit card on file.

Publisher's Summary

Royal envoys Calarian and Benji embark on a quest in the alpine duchy of Tournel. Things go rapidly downhill when the duke plummets to his death from the tower wall. Whoops - that's going to be hard to explain. And it’s not as though they can just grab the nearest human and make him the new duke. 

Or can they? 

Enter one Lars Melker, a slightly gullible cowherd built entirely of muscles and sunshine, who happily accepts their word when they tell him he’s the duke now.

Soon, Calarian and Benji are knee deep in teaching Lars how to fake it until he makes it. They're also dealing with mountain trolls, a monster, a missing cow, and, most shocking of all, a growing realisation that their elves-with-benefits arrangement might be turning into something with feelings. 

Add in their mutual attraction to Lars, and suddenly the hills are alive with the sound of emotionally compromised collectivist anarchist elves.

Also, what’s the deal with those leather shorts? 

©2020 Lisa Henry, Sarah Honey (P)2021 Lisa Henry, Sarah Honey

What listeners say about Elf Defence

Average Customer Ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    6
  • 4 Stars
    2
  • 3 Stars
    2
  • 2 Stars
    1
  • 1 Stars
    0
Performance
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    8
  • 4 Stars
    3
  • 3 Stars
    0
  • 2 Stars
    0
  • 1 Stars
    0
Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    5
  • 4 Stars
    3
  • 3 Stars
    1
  • 2 Stars
    2
  • 1 Stars
    0

Reviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.

Sort by:
Filter by:
  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Good-natured but too childish

Seditious elves, Calarian and Benji, install alpine himbo cowherd, Lars, as Duke of Tournel after accidentally dispatching the old duke. As advisors to the new duke, they also develop feelings for him. This is good-natured and inoffensive and Nick J Russo narrates well, so I had think hard about why this didn’t work for me. It wants to be two incompatible things at once - children’s fairytale and adult romance with swearing and sexual references - so it ends up not being satisfying either category. The plot is so low-angst and every obstacle resolves so simply, it’s too trivial to be interesting. That wouldn’t be a problem if the jokes or banter were really funny, but they’re not witty or clever and end up feeling childish. In the midst of this childlike tone, the swearing and sex scenes feel weirdly inappropriate, so I’m not surprised they all fade to black with little description and no steam. Because this skims along the surface, there’s no real exploration of anyone’s feelings and Benji is a really annoying character so it’s hard to invest in the relationship. A swing and a big miss.

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

You voted on this review!

You reported this review!

In the spirit of reconciliation, Audible acknowledges the Traditional Custodians of country throughout Australia and their connections to land, sea and community. We pay our respect to their elders past and present and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples today.