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Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

What to Do When Your Ex-Spouse Tries to Turn the Kids Against You
Narrated by: Vanessa Daniels
Length: 5 hrs and 43 mins
4.5 out of 5 stars (17 ratings)

Non-member price: $35.53

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Publisher's Summary

There's no question about it: your children are the most important thing in your life. But if you have gone through a messy divorce, your relationship with your children may become strained if you have to deal with a toxic ex. Your ex may bad-mouth you in front of the kids, accuse you of being a bad parent, and even attempt to replace you in the children's lives with a new partner. As a result, your children may become confused, conflicted, angry, anxious, or depressed - and you may feel powerless.

In Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex, a nationally recognized parenting expert offers you a positive parenting approach to dealing with a hostile ex-spouse. You'll learn to avoid the most common mistakes of co-parenting, how to avoid "parental alienation syndrome", and effective techniques for talking to your children in a way that fosters an open and honest response. In addition, you'll learn how to protect your children from painful loyalty conflicts between you and your ex-spouse.

©2014 Amy J. L. Baker and Paul R. Fine (P)2016 Tantor

Critic Reviews

"Genuinely helpful, this guide tackles a sensitive problem and shows how to diffuse it with accepted and proven psychotherapeutic practices." ( Publishers Weekly)

What listeners say about Co-Parenting with a Toxic Ex

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Profile Image for Catherine Conklin
  • Catherine Conklin
  • 05-11-2017

Not Helpful For Me

This may be a good book for people who have started raising kids together. My ex and I split before our son was born and have differences based on his controlling and verbally abusive behavior. This book seems to focus on the basic struggles of any kind of conflict between exes. It is really more for coping with any kind of contentious divorce. Not for clinical level toxicity or genuine abuse.

29 people found this helpful

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  • FireStar
  • 27-10-2016

Good overall advice - some info outdated

I like the overall message that you should be present for your child and focus on them.
There are some good overall tools in skills for dealing with situations covered in this book.
It does however come from an assumption that this is something to be lived with rather than changed.
The author seems to rely on the parental alienation syndrome (PAS) model which is surrounded in controversy. I would encourage anyone Learning about this to check out attachment based parental alienation (AB –PA) and get involved with changing this dynamic. When we focus on this as one parent and one child — it may seem insurmountable. But the truth is, there are many people dealing with this. When we band together we become a force much stronger than any individual ever could be.

23 people found this helpful

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  • Diana Witcher
  • 04-04-2019

Not for Me

I was disappointed about how negative this book is, and how little it has to offer in the way of pragmatic advice. I personally prefer books with a more enlightened , kind approach to problem solving and interpersonal relationships.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Miranda
  • 05-12-2018

not overly helpful

it doesnt give enough insight on how to avoid conflicts or how to predict what might come up in various situations.

2 people found this helpful

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  • amy
  • 22-11-2017

read if you have divorced a narcissist

unbelievably grateful to have the warning signs and tools. thank you thank you. will read over and over

2 people found this helpful

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  • Darrell M.
  • 16-10-2017

Both parents are toxic

The title of the book is a bit misleading. The authors assume that both parents are toxic. This book is light on ideas to deal with the toxic parent and heavy on the Eastern mindful/dialectical parenting approach, e.g., strong undertow of moral relativism and absence of absolute truth. The authors suggest a Buddhist prayer.

2 people found this helpful

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  • Pam O'Neal
  • 23-11-2016

Wow!

This book was spot on with my life the last 6 years since my divorce, I had NO idea I was responding the wrong way until I ended up in court on an emergency custody hearing order for things that never ever happened, now I realize the brainwashing was years in making. I'm definitely kicking myself for not getting this book years ago when I knew my ex was telling my kids horrible untrue things about me :-(

4 people found this helpful

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  • Go87
  • 14-10-2020

Not for high conflict cases

This book might be great if you arent coparenting with a highly toxic lying parent. Its too weak. A good parent protects a child not encourages abuse from the other. One good parent is better than 2 if the other damages the child emotionally, physically or sexually. Something family court needs to learn

1 person found this helpful

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  • BAGADO
  • 20-05-2020

Well written and explained.

Spot on of my situation. Unfortunate there are so many children subjected to such narcissistic and manipulative behavior. Some conflicting advice regarding how to handle teenagers behavior and discipline- e.g. do not tolerate disrespectful outlashes to show your'e the parent, yet praise and don't discipline or take things away because they stood up for themselves so they feel accepted. Kids should be educated about this type of abuse early in life at home, school, church, etc, yet those of us at the brunt end of the manipulation shouldn't talk about it or it will backfire? Challenging situation to navigate.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Viviana Fuhrman
  • 13-11-2019

Not good

This book is inclined towards one parent only! Even the book cover shows a mom and a child and a “heartbroken” father. Seriously? So much misleading information.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Mr
  • 05-05-2020

Informative

Detailed book that is s good listen for anyone who is coparenting. Wish I had this before my children were alienated against me.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 29-01-2020

Useful advice and ideas. Compassionate Approach.

Useful advice and ideas. Includes compassionate approaches. Not all chapters will be relevant to everyone, so you may wish to skip them, or listen incase they become relevant in your child's future.

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  • mark bygrave
  • 27-11-2019

very informative

For those that are at different stages of alienation, on how to manage your childs behaviours due to a toxic ex. To help manage your own emotions and understanding what your child or children are going through helps you understand what more you can do to form a better bond with your siblings. 10/10