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All I Want for Christmas is Tentacles

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All I Want for Christmas is Tentacles

By: Chloe Archer
Narrated by: Greg Boudreaux
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About this listen

Seasons greetings and alien abductions!

Khephren: There’s no way in Helgar's Nebula I’m marrying the candidate my parents have chosen for me. I don’t want to be the house-husband of some stoic warrior who only cares about training all day. Boring! Thankfully, I’ve learned a thing or two from all those rom-com human movies I’ve illegally downloaded off the intergalactic web. No one will see it coming when I pull a runaway groom maneuver on them!

Once I make my escape, I can go on the solo honeymoon of my dreams—to planet Earth. It’s almost that wondrous time of year when they celebrate their holiday known as “Christmas.” Human Hallmark movies make it seem so magical. I want to experience it for myself! Now, I just need to find a human who can make my wish come true and help me have an authentic holly jolly time…

Sasha: Scrooge was right when he said “bah humbug” to Christmas. This time of year sucks balls, and not the fun kind. I’ve just lost my crappy part-time job and I’m slowly sinking under a sea of student loan debt and crushed dreams.

Just when I think my life couldn’t possibly get any worse, my cat and I are abducted by an alien who wants me to help him experience a "real human Christmas" on his ship. WTF? Clearly he’s chosen the worst possible candidate for the job.

But there’s something about Khephren’s enthusiasm and eternal optimism that starts to melt even my grumpy, cynical heart. Heck, I even agree to be his fake fiancé to get his parents off his back! I don’t know what’s happening to me, but Khephren’s charm is making me feel things I never have before. And those bright pink tentacles of his are strangely fascinating. I can’t help but wonder what all they can do…

As we spend more time together, I start to realize I might not want to go home and that maybe, just maybe, I’ve found what I’ve always been looking for. Could Khephren feel the same? If so, it would be a Christmas miracle and I don’t believe in those…right?

©2023 Chloe Archer (P)2024 Chloe Archer
Science Fiction Heartfelt
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Sweet and amusing festive alien-tentacle romance!

Tentacled alien Khephren has a dreamy view of Earth Christmas traditions thanks to years of streaming Hallmark movies. His plan is simple: hide in a fake wedding cake to evade the groom his parents want him to marry, escape his star system and head to Earth, kidnap an earthling who loves Christmas and celebrate it for a couple of weeks while avoiding the Alliance—so not really that simple then! Unfortunately, Sasha has just been fired from his mall job as one of Santa’s elves because he really, really hates Christmas time. He’s less than impressed when he and his cat are kidnapped and he certainly doesn’t want to celebrate Christmas with Kephren and his spaceship crewmates … but maybe Kephren and his very pink tentacles will win him over.

This sweet, amusing tentacle romance is set in the same universe as Chloe Archer’s equally fun Tentacular Tales series with swift cameos from some of the main characters and a new set of saucy acronyms! It’s light and breezy, any road bumps are easily navigated, and none of it is to be taken seriously—perfect holiday reading!! There’s also a lengthy bonus Tentacular Tales scene between swoony Captain Starblade and steamy Lord Vardox. 🎧 Voice actor Greg Boudreaux has been a very natural fit for Chloe Archer’s books, he does quirky characters and zany situations so well!

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