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  • 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome

  • By: Maxine Aston, Rudy Simone
  • Narrated by: Lucie McNeil
  • Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
  • 4.5 out of 5 stars (13 ratings)

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22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome cover art

22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome

By: Maxine Aston, Rudy Simone
Narrated by: Lucie McNeil
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Publisher's Summary

A look at how to overcome common difficulties and maintain a loving relationship with an AS partner. 

Although having Asperger syndrome (AS) can make romantic relations difficult, having a fulfilling relationship with an Asperger man is certainly not impossible. A woman in love with a man with AS may interpret his difficulties with communication and socialisation as a lack of interest in the relationship. He may vacillate between being gentle and caring to seeming cold and distant. She may find his behaviour hard to understand, resulting in feelings of loneliness, isolation and confusion. This book shows how to overcome these difficulties and maintain a loving relationship with an AS partner.

From an unwillingness to show affection in public or even sleep in the same bed to problems holding down a job, this book looks at 22 common traits that women may discover when they are dating, living with or married to a man with Asperger's syndrome. Rudy Simone explores the complications of Asperger's relationships with honesty and understanding, drawing on research and personal experience to inform and advise women with AS partners. She offers helpful tips for improving the relationship and finding fulfilment both individually and as a couple. 

This book will help women to understand the male Asperger's mind and, equally, it can help men with AS to see things from their partner's perspective. It will also be of interest to counsellors working with couples where the male partner has Asperger's syndrome.

©2021 Rudy Simone (P)2021 Hodder & Stoughton Limited

What listeners say about 22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

On Point

Well worth the listen. I took what resonated and all the chapters had helpful information. I had so many "aha" moments.

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1 person found this helpful

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Insightful

I really enjoyed listening to this. It was a revelation, the descriptions of behaviour and explanations of thinking patterns were something I recognise in my own relationship. Thank you.

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    5 out of 5 stars
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excellent information

this book is invaluable. it clarified for me a number of behaviours that I have struggled with in my own relationship. it helps me to understand my partner better.

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

My first ever review

I have never left a book review before. But this is by far the worst book I have ever wasted a credit on. It’s basically just a list of ways your ASD partner will treat you like trash and how you will have to put up and shut up if you want to stay in a relationship with them. ‘Positive notes’ are mentioned at the end of each section, like that your partner will never be able to support you through traumatic situations, but on a positive note this will enable you to reach out to your friends and family or wider community for support.

I really expected to find some ways of reframing the situation, or helping the situation in some way. But no, this book just provided a detailed list of ‘quirks’ I’m all too familiar with, and no solutions.

Also what accent pronounces ‘book’ as ‘booook’!

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Frustrating

This book does an excellent job defining and explaining the dynamic of a NT with their Asperger’s partner. My frustration however outweighs this benefit. The underlying theme in this book feels like a 1950s throwback telling the woman to “be a good girl, shut up, put up” and mould yourself to his needs, moods, idiosyncrasies and general narcissism that is inherent within this style of relationship. An Asperger’s person is often neurologically geared towards mitigating their own stress and anxiety, this driver, in my experience of a 15 year relationship, will always outweigh their ability to ever prioritise your needs. The impact of their emotional withdrawal, rejection and “walking on eggshells” to the NT’s self esteem, often results in depression and self doubt. This, along with the Asperger’s ability to “gaslight” their partner so they can stick to their “emotionally safe” version of seeing things adds to the emotional stress of the NT. None of this is adequately addressed, and by its omission, the book undermines the needs and mental health of the NT.

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