Steve Margolis
AUTHOR

Steve Margolis

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Hello. Welcome to my bio. How did you get here? Bad Wi-Fi? Drunk surfing? Summoned by a cursed tiki idol? Doesn’t matter. You’re here now. Might as well make peace with it. This bio was written at 3:12 a.m. in a Taco Bell parking lot, using a cracked burner phone and the last 8% of my soul. Outside of bathroom stalls, it’s where I do my best work. If you’re here for deep literary insight, turn back now. Seriously—go Google someone with real talent, like J.K. Rowling or Lee Child. I’m basically a raccoon in a trench coat, hawking bootleg fireworks behind an adult movie theater. Still here? You’re quite the glutton for punishment. Ok then. Here’s a little about me: • Yes, I’m technically a boomer. Don’t panic. I’m not here to yell at you about avocado toast. • I stream everything, text like a normal person, and haven’t printed a supermarket list since 2014. • I don’t use gigantic fonts on my iPhone. My eyes still work • The photographer thought I looked better with the bag. My sense of humor peaked in middle school and never emotionally recovered. If you’re looking for highbrow wit or double entendre, turn around. If you giggled at the word 'butt', congratulations—you’ve found your people. Anyway. That’s me. Please enjoy my books, or at the very least, pretend you did.
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The Toaster Oven Mocks Me: Living with Synesthesia.

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