Regret, she's a snarky little bitch. I've tried several times to regret the events that took place on June 5, 2008, but for the life of me, I can't. I'd never regret the pain, the suffering, or the heartache because they ultimately led me to the place I am in now. And I can't regret the place I am in now. What I still can't figure out is this: How is it possible that the single worst day of my life inadvertently became the very best day? Five years ago my life was irrevocably changed. Seventeen minutes was all it took to lose my best friend, to lose the love of my life.
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Eight years ago I was given an ultimatum. I made my choice, and I've regretted it every day since. A lot has happened to me since I walked away from Levi Beckford, but I know now just how precious life can be. There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought about Levi and wondered what our life would be like if I'd chosen him. But I didn't. I broke his heart, and today I'm moving home in hopes that he'll forgive me. I want a second chance, and he needs to know that I love him more than life itself.
June 5, 2008, I made a mistake of epic proportions. Moving home was an easy choice because I knew that I had to make things right. I had hoped to win back Harley's friendship, but I never imagined that I'd win her heart, or the heart of her son. Now that I have, I'm never letting them go. They're my life, the reason I breathe. We've worked hard to get where we are, and we're finally standing on solid ground. Or so I thought.
How can those four letters cause so much pain? Everyone talks about how great love is, with all the flowers and the butterflies, but that wasn't my experience at all. Love wasn't something I wanted or even needed.