- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (10)

What do you want from Therapy? Where does your view come from? Is it your view or a “hand me down”? Therapy won’t work until you are ready. But if you take too long (as the masses do), then the hand grenade may go off in your face and then you are left picking up shrapnel. Picking up shrapnel is to be re-active.

The preference is to be proactive. Make conscious choices, even if wrong choices (at least you know you made then and can own the fallout); rather than choice be done to you (then you can’t own the repercussions). Make sense?

CBT= Cognitive Behaviour (Therapy). The Cognitive (your thinking) will always come before Behaviour (the action). Change your thinking before trying to change Behaviour. If you can change your Mind, you can change your life.

Whichever addiction you are caught up in (whether Alcohol, smoking, eating, sex, porn, seeking out connection with love, drugs, gambling or gaming), the craving to use are not under direct conscious control. The memory of the positive after effect feelings (feeling-state) drives the repeat behaviour. Your cognitive (thinking/thoughts) is triggered by the neural pathway set up by the past repeat behaviours; so the thought is - I need to have that thing; do that thing - it will make me feel better. So you go after it. Do it again. Get a temporary fix and also further cemented the neural pathway links. You're back on the hamster wheel. Get it!

There may be a high level of sincere motivation to stop, but later on the physiology demand for its chemical fix, situational triggers and disturbing/upsetting feelings, causes a PART of the personality to sabotage; not care about the demands of the other PARTS of the personality. I see, I desire, I want, so I take - kicks in – where “Immediate gratification rules again.

Want to know more? Click the link and come get me.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Support Our Show
Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (9)

Take your eyes off others and do your own battles and fights

….then, after sorting self, maybe you will have more energy to pick up other things and fulfil your best potential in that area, as you become the best that you can be and leave your positive deposit on this earth.

The Kairos Centre is all about helping you to see what you cannot see; then you can now go after the stuff, effect change and seek to be the best that you can be, so others can become the best that they can be – without SHAME, bringing colour back to life. Come taste and see!

Make the real thing the real thing; prioritise the right thing. Your brain will sideswipe you to focus on non-essentials. What is the real issue? Compulsive and addiction behaviours is causing you to live and experience a lower quality of life, than you are entitled to and deserve.

Re-set, re-set, re-set. Get back to the real thing. Your focus is to change the trajectory that you are on. Change it by just one degree and in a year, see where your new trajectory has taken you.

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Support Our Show
Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |

- On-Demand Programme Link - https://mailchi.mp/bb2a7b851246/kairos-centre

Interview by Damian Andrews of SHAIR.care: What it means to be a man (8)

"What! I no longer need to do traditional 'Talk Therapy', to address my past impactful stuff of life? Tell me more!"

Call it a little “t” trauma – that I cannot even see in my lovely family upbringing or big "T". Trauma isn’t only what happens in the Middle East or Afghanistan. It can be the 6 years old whose action man was taken by the boy down the road and when he went to get it, the boys dad slammed the door in his face and told him to go away. It can be the 7 years old little girl whose friend took her Barbie doll and went off with her best friend and was excluded by the two girls.

Why do they remember those events 30 years later? "What has those events got to do with me getting so, so annoyed when my patner uses MY stuff and doesn't put them back. I don't mind them being used, just put them...."

Getting help can itself be “Shame” and not acceptable to share stuff outside of the family. Many are locked in with their unresolved issues due to culture and family dynamics.

Scientific research has established EMDR as effective for post-traumatic stress. Clinicians also have reported success using EMDR in treatment of the following conditions: Panic attacks, Complicated grief, Dissociative disorders, Disturbing memories, Phobias, Pain disorders, Performance anxiety, Stress reduction, Addictions, Sexual and/or Physical abuse, Body dysmorphic disorders, Personality Disorders…..and many, many more.

“Trauma is the external wound, not the internal event” – Gabor Mate

“Trauma is a story that has not moved on”. It is a “story” because of the truths that your brain made of the event when it unfolded; but it may not be the full reality because of the compromised brain functioning at the time of the event – but it is set up in the body - from what all five senses took in at the time. Get it?

Get the help you need: bit.ly/pornaddictionhelp
The Kairos Centre created one of the world's first comprehensive Online Webinar Sex, Porn, Love Addiction video-on-demand Recovery Programme; discover the real, authentic you. www.kairos-centre.com or email info@kairos-centre.com

Now launched: A Video-on-Demand Online Course (for Singles, Couples/Marrieds/Partners) Access here - https://www.kairos-centre.com/changement-on-demand/

Gary McFarlane (BA, LLM, Dip, Certs), Accredited EMDR Practitioner.

Support Our Show
Linktree - https://linktr.ee/garymcfarlane

Episode Keywords: Sex Addiction | Porn Addiction | Love Addiction | Root Causes | Brain Impact | Self-Soothing Behaviors | Family Conflict | Emotional Neglect | Peer Pressure | Performance Pressure | Separation | Divorce | Fear | Anxiety | Stress | Pain | Dissociation| Recovery Program | EMDR Therapy | Emotional Event | Trauma Healing | Neuroplasticity | Online Therapy | Sex Addiction Recovery Program | Compulsive Behaviors | Intimacy Issues | Sexual Dysfunction | Obsessive Thoughts | Guilt | Infidelity | Traumatic Bonding | Objectification | Hypersexualization | Pornography Industry | Love Addiction Patterns | Attachment Styles | Sexual Compulsivity | Behavioral Therapy | Relapse Prevention | Emotional Regulation | Healing Journeys | Intimacy Building |