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Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****!
- Why Mummy, Book 3
- Narrated by: Gabrielle Glaister
- Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
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I’m Lucy. Out-of-work actress, part-time princess impersonator, Dorito enthusiast. Oh, and I’ve lost my memory. I got knocked off a bicycle on my way to a children’s party, dressed as Elsa, and accidentally flashed my thong. Now, in my head, it’s 2009 and I’m 17 years old. Not nearly 30 and starting to wrinkle. By this stage of my life, I thought I’d be married, with kids and a mortgage. Instead, I’ve got a phone full of dick pics. As I make my way through my contacts list - and try to jog my memory - I can’t help asking: Am I allergic to love? Commitment? Men?
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Publisher's Summary
Family begins with a capital eff.
I’m wondering how many more f*cking ‘phases’ I have to endure before my children become civilised and functioning members of society? It seems like people have been telling me ‘it’s just a phase!’ for the last fifteen bloody years. Not sleeping through the night is ‘just a phase.’ Potty training and the associated accidents ‘is just a phase’. The tantrums of the terrible twos are ‘just a phase’. The picky eating, the back chat, the obsessions. The toddler refusals to nap, the teenage inability to leave their beds before 1pm without a rocket being put up their arse. The endless singing of Frozen songs, the dabbing, the weeks where apparently making them wear pants was akin to child torture. All ‘just phases!’ When do the ‘phases’ end though? WHEN?
Mummy dreams of a quirky rural cottage with roses around the door and chatty chickens in the garden. Life, as ever, is not going quite as she planned. Paxo, Oxo and Bisto turn out to be highly rambunctious, rather than merely chatty, and the roses have jaggy thorns. Her precious moppets are now giant teenagers, and instead of wittering at her about who would win in a fight – a dragon badger or a ninja horse – they are Snapchatting the night away, stropping around the tiny cottage and communicating mainly in grunts – except when they are demanding Ellen provides taxi services in the small hours. And there is never, but never, any milk in the house. At least the one thing they can all agree on is that rescued Barry the Wolfdog may indeed be The Ugliest Dog in the World, but he is also the loveliest.
Critic Reviews
“God, she’s funny” – Jilly Cooper
“Honest and very funny – it’s a tale that mums will identify with” – The Sun
“Sims’s latest offering is a hilarious follow-up to her bestselling debut… you’d be forgiven for thinking the blogger behind Peter and Jane couldn’t pull it off twice – but she has” – The Sunday Post
“Witty, relevant and bitingly sarcastic… Gill Sims nails the aspects of modern family life that drive us crazy – but which also make us who we are” – Sunday Express Magazine
“Many mums will identify with Ellen” – Love It! Magazine
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What listeners say about Why Mummy Doesn’t Give a ****!
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
- Nicole's books
- 28-03-2020
The whole series is great
As a mother and wife, I found this to be a fantastic series. I loved every minute and had quite a few laughs. highly recommend.
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- Kerry Jeston
- 31-03-2022
Loved or three stories
I have read three books (or listen to them). Performance was wonderful and the books were really funny. I truly laughed out loud when listening to them – they are light and lovely with lots of truth in there as well. Would recommend to anybody for an enjoyable read!
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- Corey
- 18-07-2021
funny
loved the way this was read. didn't really think I would listen to it all the but am going to get the next book just so the story doesn't have to end.
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- Kimmy Whitehead
- 06-12-2022
Was an OK read
It was not as LOL as I’d anticipated (after reading the reviews) An ok read, and narrated well. But I’ll probably pass on reading other titles.
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