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The State of Affairs
- Rethinking Infidelity
- Narrated by: Esther Perel
- Length: 11 hrs and 17 mins
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The State of Affairs
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Publisher's Summary
Iconic couples' therapist and best-selling author Esther Perel returns with a provocative look at relationships through the lens of infidelity, providing the insight we so desperately need to help us move beyond a simplistic discussion.
An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. Adultery has existed since marriage was invented, and so, too, have the prohibitions against it - in fact adultery has a tenacity that marriage can only envy. And yet this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honoured taboo - universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat? When we say 'infidelity', what exactly do we mean? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage?
Psychotherapist Esther Perel is recognised as one of the most insightful and original voices on modern love. For the past 10 years, she has worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she argues, but healing is possible. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage - with the same person. With the right approach, couples can learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Weaving real-life stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis, Perel invites listeners into a truly revealing exploration of modern marriage.
Critic Reviews
What listeners say about The State of Affairs
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Grant Dewar
- 23-10-2018
No Holds Barred
As a therapist and as person in relationship, this book is a wonderful challenge and an education in the way to re think our views on the way in which we relate in intimacy.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bradley
- 05-03-2018
The Potential to save your relationship
As a middle age man in a 20 year happy marriage, I'm amazed at how well the author articulates feelings I have, but have never understood myself. The book is full of excellent real life stories that you can relate to.
Everyone in a relationship or about to enter a new one should read this.
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2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Bradley
- 28-01-2019
Revolution of relationships
Very good insight into the nature of relationships and the modern evolution of the relationship between partners and the desire for others.
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1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
- Kenapela
- 12-04-2018
Intriguing
Engaging, insightful. Intelligent and logical without advocation.Calming.A great resource for understanding the complexities and causes of betrayal.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Anonymous User
- 27-02-2023
A true proffessional in their field.
Esther really has all the experience to back up all of her claims she has put into her book. It is an eye opening book that really breaks down the walls of affairs. The way she delves into all aspects of cheating and how all parties get affected is something you will struggle to find anywhere else in the world.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- BecM
- 30-05-2023
Excellent
This book is so good it’s going immediately in to my re-read/listen pile. Insightful, inclusive, beautifully written, exceptionally researched, empathetic, compassionate, and engaging.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Cliente Amazon
- 17-09-2023
I loved every chapter.
It allowed me to think about and question and reflect to every aspect of my current and past relationships. It always kept me engaged, opened my eyes as well as gave a sense of lightness inside because of all the possibilities that a relationship can be, without being forced and conformed into what we grow up thinking and being told.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Amazon Customer
- 26-05-2018
sooo helpful
I loved the way this book gave such diverse examples and flexible solutions. It is truly helpful for anyone in a marriage not just those dealing with affairs.
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- Anonymous User
- 29-07-2020
Good listen.
Love that she talks about the different generations of relationships at the start of the book. She tells multiple different scenarios and stories you are bound to relate to one or if not more of them. Great listen & opens your perspective.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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- Raff
- 20-11-2021
Breath of fresh air
Forget about normal text book relationship verbatim or chat show trash. This is a realistic look at how different relationships survive, thrive or die. Whilst it moves away from social norms, it gives you insight into the spectrum of what is acceptable to different people. It’s really changed my outlook.
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