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Side Affects
- On Being Trans and Feeling Bad
- Narrated by: Hil Malatino
- Length: 6 hrs and 58 mins
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Publisher's Summary
Some days—or weeks, or months, or even years—being trans feels bad. Yet as Hil Malatino points out, there is little space for trans people to think through, let alone speak of, these bad feelings. Negative emotions are suspect because they unsettle narratives of acceptance or reinforce virulently phobic framings of trans as inauthentic and threatening.
In Side Affects, Malatino opens a new conversation about trans experience that acknowledges the reality of feeling fatigue, envy, burnout, numbness, and rage amid the ongoing onslaught of casual and structural transphobia in order to map the intricate emotional terrain of trans survival. Trans structures of feeling are frequently coded as negative on both sides of transition. Before transition, narratives are framed in terms of childhood trauma and being in the "wrong body." Post transition, trans individuals—especially trans people of color—are subject to unrelenting transantagonism.
By moving these unloved feelings to the center of trans experience, Side Affects proposes an affective trans commons that exists outside political debates about inclusion. Acknowledging such powerful and elided feelings as anger and exhaustion, Malatino contends, is critical to motivating justice-oriented advocacy and organizing—and recalibrating new possibilities for survival and well-being.
What listeners say about Side Affects
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- hanbanshee
- 30-07-2023
Deeply affecting thinking-with affect
This beautifully written book reached into some of the most familiar yet difficult to be-with feels of being trans (and, I think, also deeply relatable to many other queer and also neurodivergent and disabled folks, even as these are specifically trans affects — but the solidarity I have experienced through these complexities of my own lived-in identities makes me want to share this text with those folks too). I felt a resonance that, as Malatino suggests, does deepen and strengthen solidarities through affective connection and shared understanding. The final chapter was both deeply challenging to me (always a good thing), and left me a little disappointed that Malatino didn’t turn to Indigenous scholars on this kind of topic — I feel there is more to unpack and to work with here, and maybe this is something of a starting point even as it is framed somewhat as a closure, an ending. I’m looking forward to thinking-with this text more into the future. Heartfelt thanks.
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