"But what about me?"
"Is it possible to go one day without dealing with the survivor's issues?"
"Will we ever make love again?"
"Will the survivor love me in the end?"
"How do I know if I should throw in the towel?"
Based on in-depth interviews and her workshops for partners across the country, Laura Davis offers practical advice and encouragement to all partners - girlfriends, boyfriends, spouses, and lovers - trying to support the survivors in their lives while tending to their own needs along the way. She shows couples how to deepen compassion, improve communication, and develop an understanding of healing as a shared activity. Addressing partners' most important questions, Allies in Healing covers:
©2012 Laura Davis (P)2013 HarperCollins Publishers
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"It's not just me?"
Eye opening, lots of detail and perspective from both sides (survivor and spouse thereof).
None that I have found yet.
Very motivating to hear the stories of those that made it through!
As spouses we need to understand that we all bring baggage, but for survivors that baggage is something entirely different.
"Great Q & A format"
Liked the Q&A format. Moved quickly and answered many of my questions. Frustrating to learn this will be a long process.
"Not too opinionated, I was surprised"
Really helped me to understand what they've been going through on the other side. I never really questioned, so I didn't know what I didn't know. This book reveals the nuts and bolts of some of the more devestating aspects of mental illness and overall stresses that affect survivors (abuse victims are not referred to as victims). The author will help you understand, from a more relative position than I'm used to. I like the take it or leave it kind of explanation, so as not to come off as pretentious or patronizing. Excellent book. Read twice.
"A horrible resource for partners"
This book is written for the partners of sexual abuse survivors, however, because the author is herself a sexual abuse survivor, the advice & opinions offered are, naturally from that perspective. This book would have been MUCH more valuable if it had been written FROM the perspective of the intended audience. The author cannot and does not understand the personal journey of a partner. The book is laced with an overall guilt trip if you are not able to stay in the relationship, devote yourself FULLY to your survivors needs and sacrifice your own needs and happiness. Those that choose to stay are referred to as people who truly love and are committed to their survivor. If you already feel guilty as a partner for being unable to align with this kind of saint-like selflessness, then this book is NOT for you. Save yourself additional pain and find material written by an author who has at least a slight idea what you're going through.
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