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They May Not Mean To, But They Do Audiobook

They May Not Mean To, But They Do: A Novel

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Publisher's Summary

Joy Bergman is not slipping into old age with the quiet grace her children, Molly and Daniel, would prefer. She won't take their advice, and she won't take an antidepressant. Her marriage to their father, Aaron, has lasted through health and dementia, as well as some phenomenally lousy business decisions. The Bergman clan has always stuck together, growing as it incorporated in-laws, ex-in-laws, and same-sex spouses. But families don't just grow, they grow old.

Cathleen Schine's They May Not Mean To, but They Do is a tender, sometimes hilarious intergenerational story about searching for where you belong as your family changes with age.

When Aaron dies, Molly and Daniel have no shortage of solutions for their mother's loneliness and despair, but there is one challenge they did not count on: the reappearance of an ardent suitor from Joy's college days. They didn't count on Joy suddenly becoming as willful and rebellious as their own kids.

With sympathy, humor, and truth, Schine explores the intrusion of old age into a large and loving family. They May Not Mean To, but They Do is a radiantly compassionate look at three generations, all coming of age together.

©2016 Cathleen Schine (P)2016 Macmillan Audio

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Performance


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  • Steve M
    14/07/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny, Honest"

    Cathleen Schine is a very funny and smart writer. She combines broad comedy here with genuine insights into the difficulties of aging and the difficulties of having an aging parent. Having recently been through the illness and death of a parent, I found sections of this novel deeply moving and stunningly accurate.

    She gets into the heads of most of the characters, so you see things from all points of view--the adult children trying to do their best, the aging parent attempting to maintain independence and dignity. There are some wonderful bits of social satire, too, as when a child reared in our post-indoor-cigarette world asks, "What are ashtrays for?"

    Schine has tremendous love and tenderness for all her characters, and this gives the novel a warmth that's pretty irresistible.

    I found some of the comedy a little too broad and cartoony in places, and a climactic section that takes place on a family vacation seemed both rushed (thinly described) and (because the set-up seemed wrong) too long.

    Overall, I was happy to listen and entertained and moved, which is a lot of to ask of any novel.

    Cynthia Darlow has a fantastically rich, nuanced voice. Her tone for the aging mother can be a little schticky in places (stereotype of New York "Jewish mother" character) but she brought the story and copious dialogue to life. She communicated the love in the family exceptionally well.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • L. Wroten
    1/08/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Funny, touching and spot on"

    If you have an elderly parent or parents in your life, or if you are experiencing firsthand the tragicomic vicissitudes of growing old, this book is for you. My mother suffered with dementia for a decade and my 90-year-old father lives with my husband and me, so I am well-acquainted with the subject matter! There are lots of memoirs and novels out there about aging parents, and they are usually told from the point of view of the adult child, with emphasis on all the crap the child has to endure. This one is told mostly from the pov of the elderly mother and the result is both more entertaining and more illuminating. Brilliantly observed down to the smallest cringeworthy detail, yet not at all depressing. I laughed out loud throughout. Thanks Cathleen Schine for helping me understand my parents, and myself, a little better. You and your wonderful characters felt like old friends by the end.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Mom of three in MD
    Washington, DC United States
    20/09/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Fabulous performance.Better than reading."

    Performance was fantastic. Reader does voices of characters exceptionally well, making this a far better listen than a book for reading. The story is painfully realistic, accurate, and thankfully, funny. If you want resolution, you won't get it, as is so often true in life. I enjoyed this book, and didn't love it. No life insights for me, though I appreciated the journey.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • colprubin
    Tel Aviv, Israel
    18/07/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Everything an audible book should be"

    Wonderful reader who gave texture and nuance to every character
    Not for readers who want plot-driven novels but much enjoyed by this reader for its humor and insights into character

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Barbara
    Washington, DC, United States
    10/07/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "touching realistic tale of aging"
    Would you consider the audio edition of They May Not Mean To, But They Do to be better than the print version?

    i didn't read the print version but the audio was fantastic - her NY accent made it so much more realistic and believable. for sure the audio version adds another dimension impossible to get in print


    What other book might you compare They May Not Mean To, But They Do to and why?

    doesn't compare to anything i've read


    What does Cynthia Darlow bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    her voices for all the different characters are so realistic and perfect - i can easily visualize each age, person and their interactions


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    The whole book moved me - i saw my mother-in-law's aging in a new perspective and as i approach that age (in 20 years!!) i try to visualize what my own kids will do. it's a tough dichotomy but i would suggest all boomers read it


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Danielle
    Tampa, Fl United States
    8/07/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "cant recommend"

    well written and you can tell that the author is in fact talented but the subject matter and plot are really depressing- just constant sadness with a letdown ending that resolved nothing -can't recommend

    1 of 2 people found this review helpful
  • Ron
    Belmont, CA, United States
    30/06/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Absolutely fantastic!"
    What did you love best about They May Not Mean To, But They Do?

    A week after finishing the book I'm still thinking about it. That's when I know what I read was truly remarkable! Truly poignant story with Fantastic dialogue. The narrator was absolutely brilliant.


    What did you like best about this story?

    The authors wonderful insights into aging representing the aged person as well as children of the first. The dialogs was funny, insightful and poignant. I can't say enough how wonderful this book is.


    What does Cynthia Darlow bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you just read the book?

    It's hard to imagine a better narrator than Cynthia Darloe. Seriously wondering if this book would have been as compelling had I read it rather than listened to it because of the narrator .


    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Amosellie
    atlanta, ga
    24/08/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Hard to follow, hard to stay with..."

    I am half way into this and I am trying to stay with it. Very slow, very boring.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • joanne blodgett
    16/07/16
    Overall
    "Schine shines"

    If you haven't already been one of these characters, hang on. You will be. Loved it.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful

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