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Diddly Squat cover art

Diddly Squat

By: Jeremy Clarkson
Narrated by: Jeremy Clarkson
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Publisher's Summary

Brought to you by Penguin.

Welcome to Jeremy's farm. It's an idyllic spot, offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows, woodlands and natural springs. Jeremy always liked the idea of being a farmer. But, while he was barrelling around the world having more fun with cars than was entirely reasonable, it seemed obvious that the actual, you know, farming was much better left to someone else.

Then one day he decided he would do the farming himself.

After all, how hard could it be?

Well...

Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.

Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the tractor driver, cheerful Charlie, Ellen the shepherd and Gerald, his head of security and dry stone waller. Between them they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.

And yet, while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence....

©2021 Jeremy Clarkson (P)2021 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

"The best thing Clarkson's done...it pains me to say this." (Guardian)

"Shockingly hopeful." (Independent)

"Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here." (Telegraph)

What listeners say about Diddly Squat

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Love the column written stylings

A well written Clarkson classic with typical tangents and comparisons. A humorous insight to a beginner’s view on a new field of learning. Loved every minute of it and wish there were more.

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Beat book ever

If you want a good story and great laugh the this is the book for you! While you’re at it , watch his tv show as well! It’s fantastic too! Thoroughly loved it!! Xx

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a must-listen for the future of the British farmin

this a must-listen for a insight in to the future of British farming. Clarkson delivers his own experience of being as farmer and how tight the profits are.

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Diddly Squat has got the lot.

This unassuming and down-to-earth story is entertaining and informative. The author and narrator Jeremy Clarkson has had a massive change in lifestyle and is now a likeable and practical farmer. I enjoy listening to the challenges that he and his helpers face daily. Good listening. Interesting and relaxing. Well done Jeremy and team. Keep up the good work!

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Needs more content.

Needed more content, if you have watched the series it is just a verbal cut down rehash.
In saying that if Jeremy read me anything I'd happily listen to it.

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The excellent.

Enjoyed this immensely, have listened to this twice and will listen to this again Clarkson is an excellent narrator just wish it went for longer.

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Do more!

Absolutely loved every minute and I hope Jeremy Clarkson records more of his books… listening to his inimitable voice makes them even more enjoyable

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always clever Clarkson

love it, makes farming look challenging and very hard work. but also shows the the rewards are not just monetary

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Classic Clarkson

Loved the tv show, the audio book is the next best thing! Awesome listening!

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Bedtime story for the grown ups

Jeremy Clarkson never fails to be entertaining, even when it is about farming. The book resonates in so many ways with me as I recently quit an office job to take back our farm to operate.

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