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Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me Audiobook

Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me

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Publisher's Summary

"My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate."
—Chelsea Handler, from Chapter 10 of Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

It's no lie: Chelsea Handler loves to smoke out "dumbassness", the condition people suffer from that allows them to fall prey to her brand of complete and utter nonsense. Friends, family, co-workers - they've all been tricked by Chelsea into believing stories of total foolishness and into behaving like total fools. Luckily, they've lived to tell the tales and, for the very first time, write about them.

©2011 Chelsea Handler (P)2011 Hachette Audio

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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Performance


There are no listener reviews for this title yet.

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  • Kathleen
    Spruce Grove, Alberta
    26/05/11
    Overall
    "Money Grab… Chelsea Owes Me a Credit!"

    First off let me say I am (or rather was) a huge Chelsea fan! When she is on her A game she is possibly the funniest woman alive. Her previous 3 books have had me laughing out loud and sharing them with all my girlfriends.
    This book however is simply a sad attempt at a money grab. It appears as though Chelsea had nothing to do with this book, yet has shamelessly plastered her name and image all over it. Granted the stories are about her (for the most part) but are written by others poorly attempting to emulate her style. Its truly terrible and they should all be ashamed. *Spoiler Alert* One chapter is ‘written by’ Chunk… Yes Chunk. Her dog. Need I say more?
    I have never been more annoyed over the complete waste of a credit! I warn you, if you are hoping for classic Chelsea, skip this and just re-enjoy one of her old books.

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful
  • Angela
    United States
    8/01/13
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "I loved it... but I "get" the humor."
    Would you listen to Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me again? Why?

    I listened to this without first reading other reviews, because Chelsea Handler makes me laugh on a nightly basis. Now reading them, I don't understand other reviewers saying, "I love her, but reading this makes me realize that she's cruel/immature/mean..." Have you never seen her?

    I think most people don't have friendships that are so obnoxiously immature on the outside. I think that's why they don't "get it." My core group of friends/family say and do crazy things to each other constantly in order to get a laugh. If you sat in a room with my best friend and I, you'd think we hated each other by the way we talk sometimes. However, the people in my world would do ANYTHING for me, and I for them. There isn't one person in this book that doesn't say that very thing about her.

    If you don't get why people do obnoxious things to their friends, this book isn't for you... but then again, I don't know why you'd read it in the first place. If you can watch Chelsea Handler's show and not get that she's obnoxious and bitchy, you're missing something. This book answers the question, "I wonder how bitchy she really can be," answer being, "A LOT." It's college frat boy humor... she's a jackass boy with breasts.

    I thought this book was funnier than VODKA... I actually didn't like that one at all. Having said that, I didn't think every narrator was great, but I did like hearing each voice separately. I do think that Chelsea Handler should have narrated her own part. Hearing other voices, especially those you "know" (Heather McDonald, Josh Wolf, Roy Handler) makes it weird when someone is else is reading her part. There are also musical transitions separating each chapter that I thought were weird and out of place.


    4 of 4 people found this review helpful
  • Josh
    United States
    24/05/11
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not as good as "Vodka, it's Chelse...""

    I got this after literally rolling on the floor listening to "Vodka, it's Chelsea." While this was kinda of funny, it just wasn't as good. Could be cause it is based entirely on pranks she pulls rather than her self-deprecating humor that was so funny.

    8 of 9 people found this review helpful
  • Brandin
    Los Angeles, CA, United States
    4/04/14
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Love all of Chelsea's books. But this one sucks."

    It's weird bc I'm such a fan of Chelsea, but her friends are a tad annoying in this book. For example, it seems like they've all listened to her self-read audiobooks & sort of emulated her performance style. badly.

    also....and maybe it's just me....but are all of these people super super stupid? if chelsea is such a known prankster, wouldn't most of these pranks have been visible from space? Once guy is duped into leaving his honeymoon early b/c he was told that TIME Magazine was putting the writing staff of Chelsea Lately on the COVER. Reeeeeally? Seriously? I mean, I know that Time Magazine does actually dumb down the American version of its publication by making it more pop culture skewed ((that's actually true...the rest of the world gets another version of the magazine....wtf)) but, seriously.....i don't think i need to continue. You get it. It's OBVIOUSLY a prank. Jeez.

    so many other examples....and none really that funny, except probably to the people involved.

    Oof. Wait for Uganda to Be Kidding Me to come out on audible.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Arielle
    Sherman, TX, United States
    24/11/12
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Meh. Maybe..."
    What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

    The energy from some of the narrators was a little dead. It felt as if they had been reading for hours, and they were at the very end and restless.

    It would have been so much better if Chelsea Handler could have read her parts. Everybody else read their own parts. Chelsea Handler has such a nice voice...


    Has Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me turned you off from other books in this genre?

    No. I think I'll just have to pay more attention to the reviews before i purchase.


    What did you like about the performance? What did you dislike?

    I like that the stories were told by the people who wrote it, and by the people the events happened to. It was nice that they were able to mimic the sounds of surprise or the accents spoken. The pauses were accurate and done in a way that I would not have been able to imagine reading on my own.

    See above for dislikes.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    The book was entertaining. It made me giggle on the inside often. It was just evident that none of these people are used to writing in book format. It was so poorly written, that even the decent performances couldn't save it. It was entertaining and worth a listen if it is free.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Andrea
    Austin, TX, United States
    16/07/12
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "The characters become real"
    What made the experience of listening to Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me the most enjoyable?

    The characters in all of Handler's previous books finally become real and take the reins in this book.


    What did you like best about this story?

    Chelsea graciously replies to each story with her own rebuttal in the only way she knows how: delightfully insulting.


    Which scene was your favorite?

    Chelsea is able to bring those around her into her schemes to make them more realistic. She convinces can take somebody's weakness and exploit it to the brink of destruction. She had an OCD colleague convinced that her employee was becoming her adoptive son, living with her, going on vacations with her, not paying rent... but it was never true. This wouldn't bother most people, but Chelsea knew an OCD wouldn't be able to take it. Brilliant.


    Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

    Everything. I'd love to be Chelsea's friend.


    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Maureen McDaniel
    Santa Rosa, CA USA
    1/08/11
    Overall
    "Unfunny"

    I loved 'Vodka' and I have to compare the laugh-out-loud humor of that book to this one, which offers just a few smiles. And these aren't worth wading through all the cruel pranks that are reported with no real explanation of why these people are Chelsea's 'friends' except that they're on the payroll. I tried hard to like this, but my mood and morale were deteriorating from all the pointless profanity, slimy images, and unchallenging, childish humor.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  • Amazon Customer
    3/09/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Brad Wollack is an asshole"

    Why would anyone marry that neurotic jackass?! His wife sounds like a normal person so is this the longest running lie that's been forgotten? Who ends a honeymoon early when he should be grateful he got to experience one at all! What an idiot. I think it would be amazing to be a member of CHs' pack. This is a great book!!!

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • amazing daisy
    1/06/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not funny"

    I used to like Chelsea but after listening to this money grab disaster, I'm convinced that although she may be smart, she is a terrible person who uses her wealth and power to manipulate and control people. I actually feel sorry for her.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  • Bradley Cook
    Camden, AR USA
    16/04/16
    Overall
    Performance
    Story
    "Not by C.H. but still worth the listen"
    Would you listen to Lies That Chelsea Handler Told Me again? Why?

    Yes, and I have. It's not written or narrated by Chelsea Handler but the stories are funny and very "so something Chelsea would do/say/create". It is (as the title announces) a collection of lies Chelsea has told her coworkers, family, and friends at different times about different things. It is narrated by these people in Chelsea's life and is entertaining and funny.


    Who was your favorite character and why?

    As I've answered in other books that were actually written by Chelsea Handler, Chelsea Handler is my answer for this book as well. Who wouldn't love a crazy, hillarious sociopathic liar?


    What aspect of the narrators’s performance would you have changed?

    There is a brief section at the end of each chapter that is in fact written by Chelsea Handler that addresses the events/lies in the chapter that precedes it that isn't narrated by Chelsea Handler. I'm not clear on the reason for this choice, but I think it would have greatly enhanced and personalized the book as a whole if C.H. had of narrated these sections.


    Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

    No extreme reactions...I did laugh and it was out loud but there weren't any life changing events that were revealed in this collection of stories except that Chelsea Handler loves to lie for absolutely no reason....but we already knew that from her own books.


    Any additional comments?

    I've read several reviews on this book, attacking it for being deceptive on the contents since the cover shows Chelsea Handler and she is listed as an author. I don't really understand these attacks, I went into the book without this assumption... Overall the book was good, I'm glad each person narrated their own chapter, that made it personal and unique. I think it could have been better if it had featured C.H. narrating the chapter comments herself, it would have tied the book together and made it a more personal experience. Other than that, it was a solid book and I'd recommend it to Chelsea Handler fans.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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