The Secret Life Of A Very Clumsy Pirate

Every pirate dreams of fame, glory, and treasure. But Captain Barnaby Blunderbuss — better known as Captain Clumsy — keeps tripping over ropes, falling into barrels, and accidentally turning disasters into adventures. When Captain Clumsy and his loyal (and long-suffering) crew set sail aboard The Wobbly Wench, they aren’t expecting much more than a few spills and splashes. But a mysterious treasure map leads them to the Island of Oddities — a place filled with bouncing rocks, singing cacti, wiggly vines, talking sea creatures, rival pirates, and a treasure hunt like no other.

As the Wobbly Wench drifts into stranger waters, Captain Clumsy and his loyal crew encounter shifting islands, living sand, and an unsettling new force: the Order of the Straight Line—pirates who believe the world works best when everything is controlled, corrected, and perfectly aligned. But the sea disagrees. This thoughtful, gently humorous adventure explores what happens when certainty presses too hard, when control replaces listening, and when letting go turns out to be the bravest choice of all.

Captain Clumsy has always relied on the ocean’s strange ways—its nudges, its wobble, its quiet corrections—to keep him moving forward. Even when he fell, something always seemed to soften the landing. But one morning, the sea goes completely still. No waves. No guidance. No second chances. As the Wobbly Wench drifts across a silent ocean, Captain Clumsy and his crew must learn to sail without shortcuts, without answers, and without being rescued from their mistakes.

As the Wobbly Wench sails through waters that move only sometimes—and stay perfectly still at others—Captain Clumsy and his crew discover that the sea has changed its rules. It no longer corrects mistakes. It no longer responds to shouting or certainty. And it will not obey. While other captains struggle to regain control, a familiar threat returns in a new form: the Order of the Straight Line, determined to force the sea back into predictability. But the sea resists—not with storms or waves, but with silence.