Showing results by narrator "Joe Hempel" in All Categories

Since the late 1980's, The Square had been one of the most important clubs in New York for the alt-comedy scene. But before that it was something much darker and is now a place where evil lingers, waiting for a chance to spill blood. After a night of killing on stage, four comics find themselves in a desperate situation as the spirits of the past come out to play, and a fight for laughs becomes a fight for survival in the most unlikely of places.

Just your average father-son story. But with abduction, torture, and murder. Out of nowhere, a retired 60-year old handyman goes on a murder-spree, abducting healthy young people and torturing them with hand-tools. After he's caught, a media fascination in The Handyman swells. People want to know why he snapped. They want to hear all the grisly details. But he'll only tell his gruesome story to one person - his estranged son.

Fourteen-year-old Eric Ross is struggling. His father is in prison for murder. His mother has slipped into addiction. Even if he can survive the bullying and the sudden run of disappearances, he has little hope for a future outside of the sleepy Massachusetts fishing town he calls home. But there is something far more important on his mind. He found her down beneath the local entertainment pier, and she seems just about perfect. Except for the teeth. But she doesn't want to simply be a part of his world. She wants more . . .

Trapped in the hospital and cut off from the world, a mysterious voice on the radio is all they have to guide them. They're no longer on a mission to quarantine the remaining inhabitants. Instead, they have to destroy a multiplying menace that could infect the world before the Federal Government enacts a final solution.

Nevermore…Nevermore…Nevermore. Ever since Edgar Allen Poe penned those words to paper in 1845, the infamous response of the raven has continued to echo throughout history. The poem has become so familiar that we know it in our bones. From the memorable opening line—Once upon a midnight dreary—Poe paints a bleak scene that swiftly catapults us to the depths of heartbreak and grief.

If you have felt (1) massive relief at cancelled plans, (2) mild annoyance in huge gatherings of strangers, and (3) want to figure out how to socialize better and more effectively without social fatigue, this book is for you - written by someone exactly like you. Introvert Survival Tactics is going to shed light on exactly how you function, and how to use your tendencies to your advantage.

When you’re desperate for money, searching for a little adventure, and aren’t the most responsible person in the world, you can end up doing some outrageous things. Which is how Andrew Mayhem, a married father of two, ends up accepting $20,000 to find a key - a key buried with a body in a shallow grave. But what he finds in the grave isn’t quite what he expected, and what begins as a simple evening of morally questionable manual labor turns into a really good way to die.

Zeke's finally beaten and/or Subordinated all the other Apocalypses in his city. You'd think a winner would be due a hero's welcome, or at least a good night sleep. Instead, he's greeted with a grim sight—other Apocalyptic domes opening all around him. There's no time to spare. With every passing moment, all the competing Apocalypses grow stronger and firm up their defenses. It's Zeke's turn to go on the offense as he strikes out of his city and takes on all the other Apocalypses out there.

Clay's life has reached a standstill. Recently divorced, he spends his days drifting from his drab apartment to his equally lackluster job as an editor for a small Boston press and back again. His dreary routine has left him mired in a seemingly meaningless existence, until the night he meets Lucian - a demon - and everything changes. With the simple words, "I'm going to tell you my story, and you're going to write it down and publish it", Lucian catapults Clay's mundane life into turmoil.

Create a bulletproof first impression and turn strangers into lasting relationships. Beat surface level small talk and truly connect. You've seen them - people who have the ability to walk into a room of strangers, instantly befriend everyone, and leave with 20 new contacts in their phone. What makes people open up, engage, and connect with them? They've mastered the first 60 seconds of any interaction. Learn the subtle signs people actually pay attention to.

Long overshadowed, at least in books, by Egyptian goddesses such as Isis and Sekhmet, Larson's book focuses the spotlight squarely on the jackal-headed god. His book features history and mythology but is also a practical guide to working with Anubis now. It features devotional practices and modern worship that includes rituals, prayers/invocations, correspondences, altars, and epithets. The book leads the listener on a journey of exploration into all things Anubis, exploring his various facets.

Do you feel trapped by today’s hustle-and-grind culture? Do you feel overwhelmed and overworked? Would you like to live a simpler, more mindful, more rewarding life? If so, THE ART OF GOING SLOW is for you. Imagine having the time to nurture your most important relationships. Imagine being able to focus on your priorities and passions rather than rushing around catering to others. Imagine setting healthy boundaries that allow you to avoid life’s unnecessary chaos, turmoil, and pandemonium.

At seventeen, Mia Rose Ellis is haunted by a tragic summer and painful secrets. Seeking refuge in the forest behind her house, however, she finds two things that change everything: a rotten corpse and an archaic journal filled with horrifying tales. As Mia begins to read the eerie stories of a terrifying, malicious creature, she begins to realize the forest surrounding her house is more dangerous than she could've imagined.

Tucked away in Siberia, there are furry, four-legged creatures with wagging tails and floppy ears that are as docile and friendly as any lapdog. But, despite appearances, these are not dogs - they are foxes. They are the result of the most astonishing experiment in breeding ever undertaken - imagine speeding up thousands of years of evolution into a few decades. In 1959, biologists Dmitri Belyaev and Lyudmila Trut set out to do just that, by starting with a few dozen silver foxes from fox farms in the USSR and attempting to recreate the evolution of wolves into dogs in real time.

Conryu returns home after an eventful first year at school, eager for a quiet summer vacation with his best friends. Unfortunately, it is not to be. Just days after he arrives home, the Le Fay Society broadcasts its demands and his life is at the top of the list. Conryu soon finds himself on the run from the police, and the only way to save himself is to hunt down those threatening the city himself.

When Ryan's dying father gives him a sealed shoebox with instructions to open once he's passed, Ryan can only speculate on what's inside. The last thing he expects is for his father to take his own life, or for the shoebox to contain ten thousand dollars cash. But the money isn't for Ryan; it's for someone named Jamie Norton. When Ryan learns Jamie is an old friend of the family with a shady past, he looks to his mother for answers.

The nations of the Continent are on the verge of declaring war with Audland over the actions of the man who would be the next Mage Emperor, and only Tane, Kadka, Indree, and Tinga know the truth about Endo Stooke's plot. The problem is, they're on the run, blamed for the attempted assassination of the Belgrian Kaiser. And the non-magical forces gathering off Audland's coast are the perfect target for the terrible spell Endo has created—a spell that saps the life out of anyone without magic. A spell that won't be sated by foreign armies alone, if it reaches Audish shores.

Finally! Discover how to create to-do lists that work! Do you feel frustrated because you can't seem to finish every item on your daily to-do lists? Do you feel discouraged because you're not effectively managing your workload and responsibilities at your office and home? The good news is that there's a simple solution. It's a matter of using an approach specifically designed to help you organize, manage, and address every task and responsibility on your plate in a timely fashion.

Does public speaking make you feel paralyzed and tie your stomach into knots? Or do you want to learn how to get a standing ovation every time? Does the prospect of facing embarrassing judgment make your heart race? Maybe you just want to learn how to absolutely own a room from the stage and become a magnetic speaker? Wait...what do people even say to open and close?!

For more than a century, professional wrestling has cultivated some of the most eccentric and compelling personalities. As the embodiment of flamboyance and intensity, the "Nature Boy" Ric Flair stood at wrestling's apex for decades, cementing his place as a once-in-a-lifetime athlete and performer. When he was in the ring, fans knew they were witnessing the very best, and he not only became a multi-time world heavyweight champion in the NWA, WCW, and the WWE, but his status as a generational great has been confirmed with inductions into numerous Halls of Fame.