Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

The thing about Artem... It's a damn hard city to live in if you haven't got creds, and for creds, you need opportunities. The thing about opportunities... They're thin on the ground for Orcs, one of the most reviled races in the sprawling city. If you happen to be an Orc left for dead on the frontlines of Artem's roving monster problem and stranded outside its immense city walls, then you're doubly screwed—like Oshbob. The thing about Oshbob... He's tough, and he's pissed! With a will to survive like few others, he's determined never to be subject to the whims of the elite ever again.

Long before he was a knight in the apocalypse, Tommy was preparing for the end of the world. His friends grew concerned for his well-being and planned to intervene. It wasn’t so much that he was preparing, it was what he was preparing for.

Ominous obelisks land on Earth with a single message: Join the games to give humanity a fighting chance to survive... Or roll over and die. Too bad for them, Warren isn't the rolling-over type. Cancer may be kicking Warren's a$$, but he's not about to let aliens destroy his home and everything he loves (which is mostly just his dog, Buck). Besides, what does he have to lose? Better to die with sword in hand, bleeding out from a head wound than in some hospital bed...

London, England, 1952. Meet the mercurial genius Professor Quanderhorn (James Fleet) - a maverick scientist with absolutely no moral compass. Join him and his rag-tag crew on their frontal-lobe-knotting escapades as they battle insane hybrid creatures: the Gorrirrel and the Squirrilla, to the death; become gods to a Stone-Age tribe; are engulfed in a Martian invasion of Earth; escape shipwreck on the Moon in a spacecraft powered by anger; and evade multiple fiendish traps in the Alien Ziggurat of Death. Will our crew of Brave Boffins survive?

Nancy Kranich (played by Emmy-nominated actress Natasha Lyonne of Russian Doll and Orange Is the New Black) is a night nurse on an orbiting space station. But Nancy hates her job, is sick of space, and longs to find adventure and a safe place to smoke cigarettes that won’t blow everyone up. But when Nancy gets caught up in an outer-space conspiracy involving President Kennedy, former vice-president Richard Nixon, and an intergalactic object that could change the course of history, she gets way more adventure than she bargained for.

Ben thought The Wylds would be a fun escape. Instead, he's dropped into a deadly fantasy world where dying hurts, magic is real, and his only hope for survival is…calligraphy? Now he’s being hunted by Fate—the most powerful guild in the realm—for an object he barely understands. One that could destroy The Wylds and kill everyone inside it.

Killer ingredients, entitled customers and explosions are part of the job description for Jolene, Boris and Murph, as they navigate untamed space in their diner ship. Life is lean, but they made it work until two dissatisfied customers blew a hole in their hull, stealing the galaxy’s most psychedelic sushi. Before they can clean up the mess, Erabella, a nightmare from Jolene’s past, serves up an astronomical repair bill and a write up that threatens to destroy Jolene and her family. Will they meet their profit quota? What shady deals will they make?

Television is back and the Omega Run is the biggest show in the wasteland. Contestants from all over travel to The Cleave to compete for a chance at stardom in what is billed as the Last Race You’ll Ever Run. The Librarian and his friends are looking to send a message, and Cleave TV's reach is unmatched. All he has to do is win a race through what’s left of Cleveland where he’ll encounter the dreaded war bison, brutal ballerinas, post-apocalyptic hockey players, a circus full of killers and more.

Cat LeBlanc's success against the Antithesis in the megacity of New Montreal has raised her profile amongst the samurai. And despite her antiauthoritarian attitude and appetite for destruction in combat, she's been assigned to assume command of Burlington's defenses. Against her better judgment—and though it means taking time away from her girlfriend, Lucy, and their adopted gang of children, "the kittens"—Cat accepts the mission.

Professional underachiever Dan Foster is finally taking a break. Sure, his life has been average at best and, yes, he has never has quite lived up to his potential. But after a few Bud Lites in paradise with his girlfriend Mara, things are starting to look up. Then the sun explodes. With the island suddenly plunged in darkness, the ultra-rich guests hijack the remaining supplies and declare themselves as the new ruling class.

Contains books one and two of the humorous sci-fi Jane Bond series: Some Assembly Required and Dark Side of the Moon.

Santa. Zombies. The HOA. Life in the suburbs isn’t all birthday parties and bounce houses.

Hank was a dying breed on the space station Belvaille. The criminal gangs that had once made their homes there were forced out by the corporations that had taken over since the facility became an Independent Protectorate. Instead of the gentlemanly gang wars that had once dominated the scene, and made Hank's services prized as a negotiator, the city was now plagued by the clash of corporate armies using heavy weapons. Even tanks roamed the streets regularly.

Meet Torven, the falsely accused Inferno Force warrior who takes his tribute bride hostage to save his skin. Dakar, the galaxy's most notorious playboy who finally meets his match. Vox, the damaged part-cyborg who's been programmed to claim his mate by any means necessary. And don't miss the holiday magic when all six couples come together for a Christmas celebration that's more naughty than nice.

Leo MacGavin is not the brightest specimen of humanity, but when he inadvertently rescues a flirty alien heiress, he’s promoted from second-rate lounge entertainer to captain of the galaxy’s most sophisticated cruise ship. Before he can flee in terror, a human-hating executive gives Leo an ultimatum: complete the vessel’s maiden voyage or mankind’s last colony will be turned into a sewage dump. To make matters worse, a militant cyborg is undermining his authority, a giant spider is terrifying the passengers, and a sentient plant keeps stealing all the beer.

Cal Carver's time is about to run out. He and his Space Team are broke. Forced to take low-paying gun-for-hire jobs just to keep the food replicator working, their prospects are not looking good. When they pick up a distress signal from a luxury space cruiser, they think their luck might be about to change. And it does. Sadly, not in the way they'd hoped. Someone has detonated a Time Bomb aboard the cruiser — an experimental device designed to shatter time itself.

A price on their heads has driven Jerry, the post-apocalyptic nomadic warrior, Erica, and their loyal mastiff west in search of a new beginning. But when their truck breaks down in what was once Southern Colorado, they are swept into an epic quest at the behest of King Elias, ruler of the Kingdom of the Five Peaks. On their quest, they will meet old friends and new foes, mutant cannibals, savage mountain men, fearsome knights, and much, much more.

The galaxy is at war, and Space Team just can't seem to stay out of trouble. Following one close-call too many, the team hides out on a tiny backwater moon, hoping the hostilities between Zertex and the Symmorium will all just blow over. But when first officer Loren's brother is taken prisoner and sentenced to death by the Symmorium, Cal and the others must make a choice — a choice that could spell the end of Space Team forever...

The Space Team Universe just got a whole lot darker. In an alien city torn apart by crooked cops and ruthless criminals, private detective, Dan Deadman, specializes in cases unusual and bizarre. Sure, he doesn't smell great, and he's technically been dead for quite some time, but if you've got a rampaging Hell-beast tearing up your street, or a portal to another dimension appearing in your bathroom, Dan's your man.

After as much as the company has practiced bugging out, you wouldn't think that loading up a few hundred folks and their belongings would be that tough, would you? Well, if that's what you think, you haven't met our shepherd. Tag along and see how they come up with solutions to problems they didn't even know they had.