Showing results by publisher "----RM Alexander" in Humorous

The annual Pigsend Harvest Festival is coming up quick, and Bev's been assigned to the planning committee against her will. But Ida Witzel, the festival chair, wants no mishaps this year, and she knows if Bev's involved, the hijinks will be at a minimum. That is, until farmer Trent Scrawl isn't seen for a few days, and on a wellness visit, Bev finds him dead.

Summer has arrived in Pigsend, and it’s not just the sweltering temperatures putting everyone on edge. It’s the sixth anniversary of the war ending, and a cadre of soldiers is camping north of town to keep the peace and monitor for strange activity. Rumor has it a rebellion is brewing, one that threatens to plunge the country back into war—not that anyone in Pigsend is keen on that. At the Weary Dragon, Bev’s playing host to the usual set of travelers, including butcher Vellora’s old commander Andres.

Brian Duffy, aging soldier of fortune, had been hired in Venice by a strange old man who called himself Aurelianus Ambrosius. He was supposed to go to Vienna and act as bouncer at an inn where the fabulous Herzwesten beer was brewed. That was clear enough. But why was he guided and guarded on the trip by creatures from the ancient legends? Why should he be attacked by ifrits and saved by mythical dwarfs? What was so important about the Herzwesten beer to the Fisher King—whoever he was?

It's election time in Pigsend, and Pigsend's mayor Jo Hendry is up for re-election, but she's not the only candidate in the race. Pip Norris, the farrier, Wilda Murtagh, the cousin of the perfidious mayor from Middleburg, Gore Dewey, the blacksmith, and Hans Silver, a local farmer, have thrown their hats into the ring, too. And if Earl Dollman's polling is to be believed, it's going to be a tight race. But when every candidate except Hendry receives a letter threatening to expose their "secret," Bev's once again called to investigate.

Having barely escaped the Overcavern Forest with his life, Ben is ready for some peace and safety in the city of Solas. Unfortunately, he won't find it, not in that nightmare of a city. Especially not with the pristine body of Betsy the Purebeast safely sealed away in his Utility Pocket; a treasure so rare that it's garnered interest from all the wrong kinds of powerful people. With Vivi once again accused of the very same crimes he'd was exiled for, the power of Solas are determined to use this farce of a trial (by human standards) to rip Betsy from the teams still cooling fingers.

Nothing ruins your day like a quest with a ransom note. Especially when you're a fake wizard with real problems. I was supposed to be dead. Instead, I'm stumbling through medieval Britain with Merlin's ghost backseat-driving my magical education. And now? Princess Guinevere's gone missing, and everyone's looking at me like I'm supposed to know what to do about it. Fantastic.

Ryan and his team have reached the capital. Fighting incursions is bad enough, but the many layers of political in-fighting just make him sick. Fortunately, his power is growing, and he's learning to forge his own path. To find the way forward though, he's going to have to learn the truth about his past.

I almost hooked up with a werewolf… but before we got to third base, he dragged me off to jail. Apparently, he's the leader of the pack in town. The fact that I’m an illegal blood wolf—a vampire/werewolf hybrid—doesn’t help my case. And he didn't appreciate me accidentally biting him when we were kissing, either. Luckily, or unluckily, he seems to think I'm his true mate, which means he won't let anyone hurt me. But he also won't let me go. Between his possessiveness, my need to be near him, and the vampire clan hunting me, one thing's becoming clear:

Ben Holiday has grappled with scheming barons, fire-breathing beasts, diabolical conjurers, and extremely wicked witches. None of whom have prepared him for the most daunting of challengers—a teenage daughter. Sent by Ben and his beloved sylph bride, Willow, to an exclusive girls’ prep school, headstrong (and half-magical) Mistaya Holiday has found life in the natural world a less than perfect fit. And when her latest rebellious antics get her indefinitely suspended, she’s determined to resume her real education whether her parents like it or not.

Brian, an aimless slacker, works doubles at his shift job, forgets to clean his room and lays about with his friends Nik and Darby. He's been struggling to manage his transition to adulthood almost as much as his monthly transitions to a werewolf. Really, he is not great at the whole werewolf thing, and his recent murderous slip-ups have caught the attention of Tyler, a Millennial were-mentor determined to take the mythological world by storm.

When a trio of cute goblins emerged from a silver portal that appeared out of nowhere on my property...things got a bit more complicated all of a sudden. Also, I soon discovered they bite and scratch: mostly each other, but sometimes me.

Many years ago, Claire was named Head Librarian of the Unwritten Wing - a neutral space in Hell where all the stories unfinished by their authors reside. Her job consists mainly of repairing and organizing books, but also of keeping an eye on restless stories that risk materializing as characters and escaping the library. When a Hero escapes from his book and goes in search of his author, Claire must track and capture him with the help of former muse and current assistant Brevity and nervous demon courier Leto.

I keep telling myself things could be worse. Okay, so my mom's been harboring some hefty family secrets. Big deal. And, yeah, maybe there are still two or three teensy details about Zayn that I don't know; his backstory, his private life, or his real name, for starters. Oh, and let's not forget that there's a bloodthirsty, power-hungry, magical mob boss who's due to appear at any moment.

Herald Stone always built tank characters in every MMORPG he played. Being immortal—that was his first Goal ever, a simple childhood dream. However, the turbulent realities of life put an end to his gaming days. Years passed, and Herald Stone, now having attained success and stability, was presented with the opportunity to redeem himself...to fulfill his first Goal. Trivial? Childish? Others might think so.

Set adrift by his pirate crew, Pocket of Dog Snogging - last seen in The Serpent of Venice - washes up on the sun-bleached shores of Greece, where he hopes to dazzle the Duke with his comedic brilliance and become his trusted fool. But the island is in turmoil. Egeus, the Duke’s minister, is furious that his daughter Hermia is determined to marry Demetrius, instead of Lysander, the man he has chosen for her. The Duke decrees that if, by the time of the wedding, Hermia still refuses to marry Lysander, she shall be executed...or consigned to a nunnery.

For millennia, a secret society known as the Bastion has protected mankind from the horrors of the Underskin—malevolent forces lurking unseen in civilization's shadows. Monsters, demons, spirits, lawyers, and Fortune-500 CEOs, the Underskin's fiends pray upon the weak. When these creatures spill blood, it falls upon the rixators—the Bastion's elite warriors—to cut them down. Armed with ancient relics and modern weaponry, altruistic rixators hold the line against chaos. But a rixator's sworn oath of poverty grinds against Lincoln's life.

Liu Peijin has spent the last decade of her life writing a widely read—and very trashy—LitRPG web novel. Too bad her readers don't really like the book . . . or the author. But who can blame them? Peijin is bitter and far more interested in challenging negative reviews and blocking all critics than engaging with fans. Until one day, after arguing with a commenter, she receives an ominous message: "Tomorrow, 1 p.m. I have a surprise for you." Sure enough, the next day the Azure Dragon of Peijin's story appears on the freeway before her and slaughters dozens of humans in a flash.

After the Second Kingside War, magical folks like baker Lillie Dean are once again able to live freely and use magic openly. Lillie is taking this new freedom to heart, and has just moved to the seaside town of Silverkeep to start a brand new bakery and begin her life again.

Jig the goblin was the runtiest member of an admittedly puny race. Jig was scrawny, so nearsighted as to be almost blind, and had such a poor self-image that when he chose a god to worship, it was one of the forgotten ones - after all, what other sort of god would have him as worshiper? He also had a cowardly fire-spider for a pet, a creature that was likely to set your hair on fire if it got into a panic. Made to stand tunnel watch by the goblin bullies who'd been assigned the job, it was just Jig's luck to be taken captive by a group of adventurers.

Wounded Army vet Logan Murray thought mimics were the stuff of board games and dungeon manuals...right up until one ate him. In a flash of snapping teeth, Logan suddenly finds himself on the doorstep to another world. He’s been unwittingly recruited into the Shadowcroft Academy for Dungeons - the most prestigious interdimensional school dedicated to training the monstrous guardians who protect the Tree of Souls from so-called heroes. Heroes who would destroy the universe if it meant a shot at advancement.