Showing results by publisher "-emdashery books-" in Humorous

The devil paid me a visit and said I was going to one day rule his demonic kingdom. The catch: I have to attend the Infernal Academy, located in none other than Hell itself. Thankfully, I won’t be doing it alone. I’m going to surround myself with powerful demonesses (and maybe an angel or two as well).

Many years ago, Claire was named Head Librarian of the Unwritten Wing - a neutral space in Hell where all the stories unfinished by their authors reside. Her job consists mainly of repairing and organizing books, but also of keeping an eye on restless stories that risk materializing as characters and escaping the library. When a Hero escapes from his book and goes in search of his author, Claire must track and capture him with the help of former muse and current assistant Brevity and nervous demon courier Leto.

Everyone in Foss Butcher’s village knows what happens when the magic-workers come; they harvest human hearts to use in their spells. That’s just how life in her kingdom works. But Foss, plain, clumsy, and practical as a boot, never expected anyone would want hers. When a sorcerer snags a piece of Foss’s heart without meaning to, she is furious. For once a heart is snagged, the experience is … well, unpleasant.

William de Worde is the accidental editor of the Discworld's first newspaper. Now he must cope with the traditional perils of a journalist's life: people who want him dead, a recovering vampire with a suicidal fascination for flash photography, some more people who want him dead in a different way and, worst of all, the man who keeps begging him to publish pictures of his humorously shaped potatoes. William just wants to get at the truth.

Polly Perks had to become a boy in a hurry. Cutting off her hair and wearing trousers was easy. Learning to fart and belch in public and walk like an ape took more time. And now she's enlisted in the army, and searching for her lost brother. But there's a war on. There's always a war on. And Polly and her fellow recruits are suddenly in the thick of it, without any training, and the enemy is hunting them.

Bast knows how to bargain. The give-and-take of a negotiation is as familiar to him as the in-and-out of breathing; to watch him trade is to watch an artist at work. But even a master's brush can slip. When he accepts a gift, taking something for nothing, Bast's whole world is knocked askew, for he knows how to bargain - but not how to owe. From dawn to midnight over the course of a single day, follow the Kingkiller Chronicle's most charming fae as he schemes and sneaks, dancing into trouble and back out again with uncanny grace.

Peter Knox lives quietly in one of those small country villages that's up for the Village Garden of the Year award. Until Doc and Constance Rabbit move in next door, upsetting the locals (many of them members of governing political party United Kingdom Against Rabbit Population), complicating Peter's job as a Rabbit Spotter, and forcing him to take a stand, moving from unconscious leporiphobe to active supporter of the UK's amiable and peaceful population of anthropomorphised rabbits.

Returning to Guthrie, Oklahoma, for the funeral of his mysterious and beloved aunt, Sue, Adam Binder once again finds himself in the path of deadly magic when a dark druid begins to prey on members of Adam’s family. It all seems linked to the death of Adam’s father many years ago - a man who may have somehow survived as a warlock. Watched by the police, separated from the man who may be the love of his life, compelled to seek the truth about his connection to the druid, Adam learns more about his family and its troubled history than he ever bargained for.

Walter Tye is the best friend any adventurer needs. He is the smiling shopkeeper next to your local dungeon, the one who sells you these cheap healing potions. When you need information, Tye always knows. He wants to help; you can trust him. He is also the undead necromancer ruling said dungeon, getting paid to solve problems that he caused in the first place. But don't tell anyone that.

Conrad Clarke, former RAF pilot and alleged gangster, gets a text – and a visit – from The Allfather. Odin has a challenge for Conrad: Sign up to protect England from wild magick and get a commission in the King’s Watch. All he has to do is find a missing witch. Simple. Conrad never could resist a challenge. Before you can say “Ragnarok”, he’s plunged into a world of gods, mages, witches, dwarves, and one very aggressive giant mole.

When Rennick was thirteen, the gods bestowed upon him the name of his fated mate—a human girl. As the sole heir to the Mountain Kingdom, magic bound him to his kingdom until he ascended the throne on his twenty-fifth birthday. As a human, she couldn't cross the magical barrier separating the humans from the fae. Heartsore and consumed with thoughts of her, he did the only thing he could and sent her anonymous letters and gifts… Until he crossed the barrier into her kingdom to claim her as his own.

From the author of the Vorrh Trilogy comes an epic odyssey following a group of mercenaries hired to deliver a church's ultimate power, a sacred oracle, as the decadence of carnival gives way to the gravity of lent and the mystic landscape grows ravenous - all set within a Bosch painting.

My place in this world slowly reveals itself to me. Unfortunately, I’m constantly reminded just how magicians truly screwed this place up. The Lord Ruler serves as one of the kingdom’s major problems, though there could be more to it. Tasks: rank up the shop and town, adapt to my ever-increasing strength, and hey, there are foes that are seriously strong out there. So many things happen in my growing tale this time around. Sit. I shall continue…

Before meeting his pathetic and all-too-predictable demise in the middle of a pie-eating contest, Zack was living the high life: schlubbing around his parents' basement, subsisting on pizza, video games, computer screens, and web novels. He had it all . . . while still being a big, fat nothing. But when he's forced to ditch his pudgy mortal corpse, Zack finds himself taking the place of a recently-killed demonic sect elder known as Slifer, who—even as an elderly man—is one serious badass.

The story so far: unfortunately, Burrows, the leader of the colony, has died on the voyage, so his number two, Brian (Nicholas Lyndhurst), is now in charge. He's a nice enough chap but no alpha male, and his desire to sort things out with a nice friendly meeting infuriates the colony's chief physician, Lillian (Vicki Pepperdine), who'd really rather everyone was walking round in tight colour-coded tunics and saluting each other. She's also in charge of Project Adam, the plan to conceive and give birth to the first colony-born baby.

Still bruised and heartbroken from their last calamitous quest, Gorm Ingerson and his band of washed-up heroes try to make amends for the orcs they accidentally betrayed. But justice is put on hold when an old foe marches to the city gates. Gorm is horrified to discover a liche pitching the frightened city-dwellers on the merits of the undead lifestyle...at the head of a corpse army. To save the city from high-pressure sales tactics and an inevitable siege, the dwarf warrior and his misfit band hatch a harebrained scheme that lands them at the top of the king’s kill list.

A caravan flying the flag of the Nation of Darkness has been attacked by a noble who hails from the Re-Estize Kingdom. Coincidence...or conspiracy? Either way, Nazarick interprets this as an act of brazen hostility and readies for war! The people of the kingdom, still reeling from the disastrous battle at Katze Plain, reluctantly prepare themselves for another bloody day.

In a mysterious town that lies hidden in our collective subconscious, there's a quaint little store where all kinds of dreams are sold. Day and night, visitors both human and animal from all over the world shuffle in sleepily in their pyjamas, lining up to purchase their latest adventure. Each floor in the department store sells a special kind of dream, including nostalgic dreams about your childhood, trips you've taken, and delicious food you've eaten, as well as nightmares and more mysterious dreams.

With ailing family to support, Evie Sage's employment status isn't just important, it's vital. So when a mishap with Rennedawn's most infamous Villain results in a job offer—naturally, she says yes. No job is perfect, of course, but even less so when you develop a teeny crush on your terrifying, temperamental, and undeniably hot boss. Don't find evil so attractive, Evie. But just when she's getting used to severed heads suspended from the ceiling and the odd squish of an errant eyeball beneath her heel, Evie suspects this dungeon has a huge rat . . . and not just the literal kind.

Miriam Feldman’s road to happiness is littered with potholes. Between her search for a vampire’s missing fiancée and getting answers about a creepy amulet tied to her parents’ murders, Miri is making enemies across the whole supernatural spectrum. Fun! Meanwhile, her daughter is acting out, and teen attitude is sooo delightful when you throw magic into the mix.