Showing results by publisher "Penguin Audio" in Humour

Finding himself alone on a desert island when everything and everyone he knows and loved has been washed away in a huge storm, Mau is the last surviving member of his nation. He's also completely alone - or so he thinks until he finds the ghost girl. She has no toes, wears strange lacy trousers like the grandfather bird and gives him a stick which can make fire. Daphne, sole survivor of the wreck of the Sweet Judy, almost immediately regrets trying to shoot the native boy.

Have you ever thought about the fact that before the fridge you'd have had maggots in your margarine? Ever thought about what you might use to wipe your bum before loo roll was a thing? And what about what everybody did before computers?! In this third hilarious book from Adam Kay and Henry Paker you'll learn about all of these and more.

Throughout his young days at school and just afterwards, a number of things happened to Roald Dahl, which made such a tremendous impression he never forgot them. Boy is the remarkable story of Roald Dahl's childhood; tales of exciting and strange things - some funny, some frightening, all true.

Thor's hammer is missing again. The thunder god has a disturbing habit of misplacing his weapon - the mightiest force in the Nine Worlds. But this time the hammer isn't just lost; it has fallen into enemy hands. If Magnus Chase and his friends can't retrieve the hammer quickly, the mortal worlds will be defenseless against an onslaught of giants. Ragnarok will begin.

Meet Billy. A kid with a dream. He wants to turn an old wooden house into an incredible sweetshop full of treats! And meet The Ladderless Window-Cleaning Company: Monkey, Pelican (Pelly) and Giraffe (who needs ladders when you've got a giraffe?!). They have just landed a big break cleaning all six hundred and seventy-seven windows of the mansion owned by the richest man in all of England! All they need now is a little help from Billy. Can these unlikely new friends make Billy's wildest dreams come true and take him on an adventure he'll never forget...?

Penguin presents the unabridged, downloadable audiobook edition of Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul written by Jeff Kinney. A family road trip is supposed to be a lot of fun . . . unless, of course, you're the Heffleys. The journey starts off full of promise, then quickly takes several wrong turns. Gas station bathrooms, crazed seagulls, a fender bender, and a runaway pig-not exactly Greg Heffley's idea of a good time. But even the worst road trip can turn into an adventure.

After a summer of meeting handsome French boys and getting a tiny bit sunburnt. OK, fine - a lot sunburnt, Lottie's heading off on a week-long residential school trip. A whole week away from embarrassing parents and Toby's tasty air biscuits! But the trip soon turns into a total disaster. The other girls staying at the camp are MEGA-MEAN, best friend Jess is spending all her time with new girl Isha, and Lottie's diary gets stolen! Who knew a school trip could cause so much DRAMA?!

A boy who only gets to eat cabbage soup for breakfast, lunch and dinner finds a Golden Ticket that will take him into Willy Wonka's magical chocolate factory. Joining him on the tour are four horrible blighters: Augustus Gloop - a great big greedy nincompoop, Veruca Salt - a spoiled brat, Violet Beauregarde - a repulsive little gum-chewer and Mike Teavee - a TV addict. With a chocolate river, crafty squirrels and mysterious Oompa Loompas, Mr Wonka's chocolate factory is the strangest, most magnificent place Charlie has ever seen.

This is a story about REAL WITCHES. Real witches dress in ordinary clothes, have ordinary jobs and look very much like ordinary people. But they are far from ORDINARY. The Grand High Witch, leader of all the witches, has a plan to make each and every child disappear. That is, unless one boy and his grandmother can stop her.

Danny thinks his dad is the most marvellous and exciting father any boy ever had - but Danny's dad has a very big secret. This secret leads them both into the strangest adventure of their lives, and a daring plot that makes Danny the champion of the world.

Boggis is an enormously fat chicken farmer who only eats boiled chickens smothered in fat. Bunce is a duck-and-goose farmer whose dinner gives him a beastly temper. Bean is a turkey-and-apple farmer who only drinks gallons of strong cider. Mr Fox is so clever that every evening he creeps down into the valley and helps himself to food from their farms - and those ghastly farmers can't catch him!

‘We is in Dream Country,’ the BFG said. ‘This is where all dreams is beginning.’ This edition of The BFG, part of The Roald Dahl Classic Collection, is perfect for Dahl fans old and new. So, enter a world where invention and mischief can be found throughout the book and where magic might be at the very tips of your fingers.

As far as children are concerned, a REAL WITCH is easily the most dangerous of all the living creatures on Earth. This edition of The Witches, part of The Roald Dahl Classic Collection, is perfect for Dahl fans old and new. So, enter a world where invention and mischief can be found throughout the book and where magic might be at the very tips of your fingers.

Mr Fox is a very clever fox - every evening he creeps down into the valley and helps himself to food from the nearby farms. Chickens from Farmer Boggis, ducks and geese from Farmer Bunce, and turkeys from Farmer Bean. But now the farmers have had enough, and together they hatch a plan to get rid of Mr Fox for good! But what they don't know is Mr Fox has some help, and a fantastic escape plan of his own.

Daniel and Lottie finally have their first date. A trip to a fancy gelato in Brighton. But how do you eat ice-cream in front of your crush and is Lottie ready for her first kiss? I mean he's nice and all but boys are still a bit gross, right? The school holidays are looming, and with Lottie off camping to France for two weeks and Daniel spending most of the summer on a fancy Greek island, it looks as if the young lovebirds will be cruelly ripped apart. But then Lottie makes friends with a French boy called Antoine.

Danny has the most marvellous and exciting father anyone ever had. He can repair any car or machine that people bring to him, loves going on adventures with Danny and tells him incredible stories around the stove in the cozy caravan they call home.The land around them belongs to Mr Hazell, a rich bully who NOBODY likes, not one-little bit. So, Danny and his father concoct a daring plot that will give Mr Hazell the greatest shock of his life. But can they pull off this level of mischief-making without getting caught?

At long last Lottie and Daniel are an official couple and everything seems to be going super well (except for Amber being increasingly mean and jealous, but what's new there?). Amber decides it's ludicrous that Lottie has a boyfriend and she doesn't so she decides to hand out applications forms at school and audition the most eligible Bachelors for the role. Jess also decides to reveal to the rest of the group that she might be gay, and that she might also have a crush on someone at school.

George Kranky's grandma is a grouch. She's always mean to George (and not much nicer to his parents either). She just LOVES being mean and miserable! Once when George is put in charge of giving Grandma her medicine, he wonders if he could come up with his own remedy to try and help her become less of a grump. So, using some rather unusual ingredients, George creates his magic medicine*. But will it stop his grandma from being so horrible...or will it blow the top of her head off?!

Lottie Brooks is 11 ¾, and her life is already officially over - not only is she about to start high school without any friends or glamorous swooshy hair, she's just discovered she's too flat-chested to wear a bra! She might as well give up now and go into hibernation with her hamsters Sir Barnaby Squeakington and Fuzzball the Third.

Mr Twit is a foul and smelly man with bits of cornflake and sardine in his beard. Mrs Twit is a horrible old hag with a glass eye. Together they make the nastiest couple you could ever hope not to meet. Down in their garden, the ghastly, evil Twits keep Muggle-Wump the monkey and his family locked in a cage. But not for much longer! Because the monkeys are planning to trick the terrible Twits and make their escape, once and for all....