Showing results by publisher "Recorded Books" in Humour

In the humdrum town of Moormouth, Walter Mortinson's unusual inventions cause nothing but trouble. After one of his contraptions throws the town into chaos, Walter's mother demands he cut the nonsense and join the family mortuary business. Far off on Flaster Isle, famed inventor Horace Flasterborn plans to take Walter under his wing. When a letter arrives by unusual means offering Walter an apprenticeship, he and the moody one-eyed girl next door run away and journey through a strange landscape of fish-people, giantess miners, and hypnotized honeybees.

Before Nicholas V. Landrew can enjoy more than a few weeks in his new role as emperor of the universe, his world begins to fall apart. His mortal enemies, the Craborzi, have cloned him, and are using these carbon copies to produce an intergalactic reality show called The Abominable Emperor - killing a clone in every episode! Worse, they've joined forces with his other mortal enemy, the Phlemhackian talent agent, Morglob Sputum, who is also out for vengeance. But worst of all, his parents want him to take out the garbage!

When seventh grader Nicholas V. Landrew, his beloved pet gerbil Henrietta, and a package of ground beef are beamed aboard an alien space ship, they soon find themselves on the run in a madcap chase across the universe. Now all Nicholas wants to do is get back home before his parents find out and ground him forever, but with the Universal Police hot on his trail, that won't be easy.

Everything is changing for Becket Branch. From subways to sidewalks to safety rules, Becket is a city kid born and raised. Now, the Branch family is trading urban bustle for big green fields and moving to Gran's farm, where Becket has to make sense of new routines from feeding animals to baling hay. And as much as Becket loves to yell "Beautiful Alert!", there's a lot about the countryside that is just plain odd.

Welcome to the Weenie Zone! A boy and his family narrowly escape a zombie apocalypse - or do they? A girl neglects her cat's litter box and finds herself in a heap of trouble. And a group of clicking, scrolling, tapping wireless weenies find themselves on the edge of disaster. Here are 33 hilarious and harrowing stories that will scare you, make you laugh, or see the world in a whole new way.

Stranded aliens seek out Earth's most intelligent species. (Hint: It's not us.) A bully discovers the meaning of "spatial displacement." Two girls find out why you should never annoy a witch. When a swarm of sneaking, slashing, scurrying ninja weenies invades their neighborhood, a boy and his best friend find a way to fight back. Here are 33 hilarious and harrowing stories that will scare you, make you laugh, or see the world in a whole new way. Find out where David got the idea for each story at the end of the book. Don't be a weenie. Listen to these stories. If you dare!

Critically acclaimed author and master of the macabre David Lubar is back with 30 more warped and creepy tales for fans of his best-selling Weenies story collections, which have sold more than 1.7 million copies to date.

A girl doesn't have a date for the school dance - until her dad makes one for her in his lab. "Lily - meet Stitchy." A family enjoys a nice Thanksgiving dinner - until they are interrupted by a torrent of turkeys out for revenge. A princess meets a pea-brained suitor. And the battle of two red hot pepper weenies ends in flames. Critically-acclaimed author and master of the macabre David Lubar returns from a journey into the darkest depths of his brain with 35 more warped and creepy tales.

A boy discovers the answer to one of the great urban mysteries: Why are pigeons always pooping in parks? A second-grade class learns why they should always be nice to their math teacher. An ancient predator uses the internet to search out its prey. A young girl and her little brother escape a campfire weenie only to encounter something even more terrifying: a troop of Girl Scouts singing campfire songs.

A town is overrun by road weenies - a.k.a. joggers - who never smile. A girl thinks she's too old for Halloween...until she finds a special pair of gloves. A boy takes a shortcut to an unexpected place. A mummy takes his revenge, one little piece at a time.... These 35 tales ranging from the silly and offbeat to flat-out horrifying are just right for listening alone in the dark.

From the award-winning author of Hidden Talents, two remarkable short-story collections - Kidzilla and The Witch's Monkey - together for the first time. Plus several brand-new stories. Each hilarious and harrowing. A substitute teacher finds out she has some monsters for students. A group of kids attempts a levitation trick with hair-raising results. A neighborhood is so boring the grown-ups are turning into...well...you know. And dozens more.

In this series opener, Koko Dodo the cookie chef has a big problem. Today is the day of the royal cookie contest, and someone has stolen his top-secret fudge sauce! Luckily, a spy enters the scene just in time (or rather, crashes in on her roller skates): Didi Dodo! This might be Didi's first case ever, but she has a daring plan to help Koko. Koko would prefer a safe, simple, sure-to-work plan, but without another option, he and the amateur sleuth take off on a wacky caper full of high-speed chases and big belly laughs....

In Robo-Dodo Rumble, Koko Dodo's cookie shop is facing some stiff competition from an evil robotic dodo (a Robo Dodo). The Robo Dodo is selling its cookies for only a penny! Why? To put Koko's shop out of business! And if that weren't bad enough, a giant sea monster starts destroying the town! But don't worry. Didi Dodo has a daring plan.

Didi Dodo, the heroic spy, and Koko Dodo, the cookie chef, are off to solve another kooky caper! In Double-O Dodo, Koko has a big problem: His trusty assistant, the Queen, has been kidnapped! Over a frantic phone call, she tells Koko that she’s been kidnapped by a human, which is preposterous - everyone knows that humans aren’t real! Luckily, Didi is on the case. Her plan: To go undercover at the Humanland amusement park to find the Queen.

Once upon a time there was a princess...who made a pit stop. While the birds and beasts changed her tires, her fairy godmother told her she was in last place! With just one lap left! She might as well give up! Give up? Not this princess! Instead, she hit the gas! Join Her Royal Highness in the driver's seat for a mad dash to the finish in this exciting ode to auto racing.

From heroic George Washington to the dastardly Richard Nixon, the oval office has been occupied by larger-than-life personalities since 1789. The position comes with enormous power and responsibility, and every American president thus far has managed to achieve great things. However, the President of the United States is only human - and oftentimes far from perfect. While some men suffered through only minor mishaps during their time in office, others are famously remembered for leaving behind much bigger messes.

Ronan Boyle may be the youngest and lowliest recruit to the secret Garda, but he’s determined to save his captain from the harpy that dragged her into Tir Na Nog at the end of book one. He may not be the strongest, or the smartest, or the best looking, or the most dexterous...so why was he picked for this mission? He’s not entirely sure. But he may be the captain’s only hope - if he can escape man-eating elves, escape a job in a unicorn’s lounge act, and find the captain before she’s sacrificed to a spooky cult trying to resurrect its leader.

My epic summer at Evil Scientist Summer Camp hasn't gone quite like I planned, but THIS week I will DEFINITELY be Evil Emperor of the Camp. I've been stocking up on evil inventions and Fang's been sharpening her claws. We're ready for anything! Okay, so maybe I wasn't really prepared to find out that Geeky Girl's grandmother is actually Madame Mako, inventor of the original volcano lair, and ruler of the most famous evil empire ever...but, this is going to be GREAT.

In this heartwarming follow-up to Laurel Snyder's award-winning beginning chapter book Charlie & Mouse, the two brothers prepare to celebrate one very special birthday: their mom's! Follow along as they choose the best pancakes, hunt for presents, decorate with snakes, and more. Things don't go exactly as planned...but with plenty of humor and heart, Charlie and Mouse prove that sometimes when things aren't perfect, what they turn out to be is even better.

Franny K. Stein isn't a good baker. But when she sees that the fundraisers for the art and music departments at her school aren't making enough money, she decides to take matters into her own hands. Using her genius mind and kitchen, which is really just another type of laboratory, she sets out to create the most delicious muffin on earth! Sales, of course, go through the roof. But bad things can happen when people become exposed to the best thing they've ever tasted. They can become...overenthusiastic.