Showing results by publisher "Audible Studios" in Comedy & Humour

After an absence of seven years, Greg Bowman returns home from America to find his father lying in a bamboo coffin, his estranged brother, Billy, stalking a woman with no feet, and his 79-year-old uncle, Frank, planning to rob a bank. While renovating the family house, he is unexpectedly visited by the presence of his dead father and charged with the task of 'fixing' the family.

Danny: The portrait of a surreal killer. Each one of us has an invisible space alien perched upon our shoulders controlling our thoughts. This is not a good thing! Danny used to be a sad and lonely man, but now he is happy. Because now Danny has a dog of his very own. A nice big dog with a waggy tail and a smiley face. The dog’s name is Demolition but only Danny can see him. Men from The Ministry of Serendipity are monitoring Danny’s every move.

Fred Stoller has played the annoying schnook in just about every sitcom you’ve seen on TV - Friends, Everybody Loves Raymond, Scrubs, Hannah Montana, My Name Is Earl - and was even a staff writer for Seinfeld, but he’s never found a solid gig. When it comes to Hollywood, it’s a case of always the bridesmaid and never the bride, except in his case he’s always the snarky waiter, the mopey cousin, or Man Number Two.

What if a reality TV show like Jersey Shore set up production in the fictional seaside resort Sea Haven? What if hitting the gym, tanning, and doing a little laundry aren't the only things the contestants get into? By-the-book officer John Ceepak and his wisecracking young partner, Danny Boyle, have to babysit the buff and boozy kids partying it up in a Jersey shore rental house for TV’s summertime hit Fun House while simultaneously trying to stop the rowdy kids from breaking the law up and down the beach. But even Ceepak and Danny can’t stop one young cast member from being murdered—and others from being threatened with the same fate.

Kermit the Frog is back, and he’s revised and updated his bestselling memoir with life advice and inspiration for a whole new generation of fans! In Before You Leap, the world's most famous frog shares his own story in a funny, heartfelt manner about his life and yours. After telling the tale of his humble swamp beginnings, remarkable career in show business, and about all the amazing people and pigs he's met along the way, Kermit shares his advice on many of life's milestones.

Until a few weeks ago, Leanne was a 30-something who lived with her mother. And yes, she still slept under her Barbie bedspread. Until recently, best friend Maddy was married to a man whose golf club got more action than she did. But not anymore. Leanne convinced Maddy enough was enough. They packed their bags and their miniature poodle and bid goodbye to their dreary lives for the summer. Drinking wine under the stars and splashing around in the sparkling turquoise waters of Italy and the Dalmatian Islands should be every girl’s dream. Except...it’s not all plain sailing.

Driving home after being kicked out of college, Tucker meets and picks up the mysterious Corinne Chang at a rest stop. Infatuated, and with nothing better to do, he ends up with her in St. Louis, where he gets a job as a chef in a Chinese restaurant. Even though he’s a gwai lo—a foreign devil—his cooking skills impress the Chinese patrons of the restaurant, and his wooing skills impress Corinne when she joins him there as a waitress.

Perhaps all of Jonathan Ames' problems, and the genesis of this hilarious audiobook, can be traced back to the late onset of his puberty. After all, it can't be easy to be 16 with a hairless penis "undistinguishable from that of a five-year-old's".

Back in January 1995 in Los Angeles, California, a Singaporean pornstar named Annabel Chong took cultural rebellion to an extreme, on terms that had never been negotiated before. She was filmed having sex with a long receiving line of men, servicing them 251 times over a ten-hour period to set a new world record: The World’s Biggest Gangbang.

Don't worry, be... imperfect!. (Noch) nicht perfekt, aber verdammt nah dran: Marie ist die Königin der Selbstoptimierung. Als Frau, im Job und als Mutter gibt sie alles - was sie natürlich auch von ihrer Familie erwartet. Die ist allerdings zunehmend genervt von Maries Perfektionismus. Ihre Kinder wollen nicht dauernd funktionieren, und ihr Mann flirtet sogar mit der unerträglich tiefenentspannten Babette. Als Marie dann auch noch von einem Hexenschuss ausgebremst wird, kommt sie ins Grübeln.

From New York Times best-selling author Kim Karr comes a flirty new love story. The whole stethoscope-and-white coat thing isn't my cup of tea. I prefer a man with an artistic vein in his body and 9-to-5 hours. And I can definitely do without the half-lidded, sleepy bedroom eyes. (Okay, so those are kind of sexy.) Tall, dark, and handsome doesn't change the fact that he's arrogant, cocky, and rude. Not that I care, but he's made it clear he wants nothing to do with a quirky girl like me, which is why he said no. Turns out no isn't an option.

After three centuries trapped underground, thousand-year-old Yulric Bile, also known as The Cursed One, The Devil's Apprentice, He Who Worships the Slumbering Horrors, awakens only to find that no one believes he is a vampire. Apparently he's just too ugly. Modern vampires, he soon discovers, are pretty, weak, and, most disturbing of all, good.

At 23 years old and still celibate against his will, Wes has run the numbers: It is officially more likely an asteroid will kill him before he ever ends up naked in someone else's bed. What's his problem, you ask? He couldn't tell you. Wes likes bars, booze, and fun; he has a job, an apartment, and no major deformities.... What more does a 20-something need to be a bit of a slut now and then!? In his quest to lose his virginity and join the legions of normal, sex-having adults, Wes gets everything but lucky.

All secret agents need to look out for William Nye, now known as Agent X. His recruitment was simple and his legend is brilliant but un-earned. Somehow, he thinks he's the best there is and we all know how pride goeth before a fall. The master of SF hilarity and biting social satire creates a spy world that has gathered praise from the greats of the genre.

Santa's helpers don't always dispose of bodies, but that's what Tucker Smith is doing right now. Specifically, the body of his own Santa - one of thousands worldwide - who was just murdered in an apparent random act of violence. Now, Tucker will have to somehow manage to deliver Christmas to his assigned region while he struggles to patch things up with his family, all while training the replacement sent to him by The Organization and trying to uncover the mystery of who killed Santa. And there's only five days left until Christmas.

From the break-out star of BuzzFeed and the People's Choice Award-winning comedian comes a collection of hilariously anguished essays chronicling awful moments from his life so far, the humiliations of being an adult, and other little indignities. Matt Bellassai has no idea what he's doing. Well, to be fair, he did become semi-Internet famous by getting drunk at work, making him a socially-acceptable - nay - professional alcoholic. He's got some things figured out. But the rest is all just a terrible, disgusting mess.

Millions of people have, at some point in their lives, waited tables. Some did it only in college or got out by sheer determination, good luck...or suicide. Others took it on as permanent employment. And many remain haunted by nightmare scenarios where they are the sole servers in restaurants packed with complaining patrons. For all those disenchanted current and former food service employees, Darron Cardosa has your back.

The Battle of Brandsveid brought together every king and nobleman in the land in an epic struggle for the future of the Land of Dis, as the armies of the Six Kingdoms united against the monstrous army of Lord Brand. It was the event Vergil, a knight in the service of the Order of Avaress, had waited for his entire life. Unfortunately, he slept through it.

Set a thousand years (give or take) before the events of Disenchanted, Distopia tells the story of Wyngalf the Bold, the legendary hero renowned for ridding the land of Dis of the scourge of dragons. The story begins as Wyngalf, a young missionary for an obscure religious sect, arrives in the port city of Skuldred. Desperate to prove his worth to his superiors, Wyngalf finds himself drafted into leading a missionary voyage across the sea to the semilegendary land of Dis.

From when I learned I don't have a sex-phone operator voice to when I fainted in the middle of a shoot. From when I bombed a movie audition to when I was upstaged by the modeling equivalent of a soccer mom. It's all here. So sit back, relax, and listen to a few stories that will remind you that modeling is about as glamorous as babysitting a bunch of toddlers. Toddlers on a sugar rush. By the way, your keys are underneath your jacket in the kitchen.