Showing results for "the-english-teacher" in Humour

Millions of young listeners have loved the World's Worst Children tales. Now they will revel in this delightfully dreadful collection of the most gruesome grown-ups ever: The World's Worst Teachers. Think your teachers are bad? Wait till you meet this lot. These 10 tales of the world's most splendidly sinister teachers will have you running for the school gates. Dr Dread teaches science and is half man, half monster. Watch out for the ghastly Miss Seethe. She is always furious and she's on a detention rampage.

Charlie Bucket and his family are rushing around the Earth at seventeen-thousand miles an hour in a great glass elevator. It belongs to the fantastic Mr Willy Wonka, and the adventure becomes even greater upon discovering they're not the only ones orbiting the Earth at that particular time....

Harriet Manners knows many things. She knows that toilet roll was invented by the Chinese in 600 AD. She knows that a comet’s tail always points away from the sun. And she knows that the average healthy heart beats 70 times per minute. Even when it’s broken. But she knows nothing about making new friends at Sixth Form. Or why even her old friends seem to be avoiding her. And she knows even less about being a glittering supermodel success. Which she now is - apparently.

Mr Hoppy really loves his neighbour Mrs Silver, and Mrs Silver really loves her tortoise, Alfie. Oh, if only Mr Hoppy could perform some great feat that would make him a hero in her eyes! Then one day an amazing idea rushes into his head. With the help of a magical spell, some cabbage leaves and one hundred and forty tortoises, can shy Mr Hoppy win Mrs Silver's heart?

The first title in the brilliant series by Pamela Butchart. One day Izzy and her friends are surprised to find that their teacher, Miss Jones, is actually being nice to them. This is the woman who was caught secretly smiling when Maisie Miller fell off her chair. There can be only one conclusion: she's been taken over by aliens, and now she wants to make them all aliens, too! Hilariously narrated by Susan Calman.

From the million-copy bestselling author of The Parent Agency and Birthday Boy comes a wildly entertaining wish-fulfilment adventure that asks the question: what would happen if the strictest head teacher swapped bodies with the naughtiest kid in school?

The third title in the brilliant series by Pamela Butchart. Izzy and her friends have been plunged into more primary-school craziness. This time, they decide that their new head teacher is a vampire rat, based on his being slightly scary, having the blinds drawn in his office during the day and the fact he's banned garlic bread at lunchtimes. Now they just have to come up with a plan to vanquish him.... Hilariously narrated by Susan Calman!

Hold on to your broom for magical mayhem! It's the start of a new term at Miss Cackle's Academy for Witches and Mildred Hubble is determined not to be the worst witch this year. Everything starts so well. Mildred's class has a new form teacher - no more Miss Hardbroom for Mildred and her friends! But then the new teacher, Miss Granite, starts acting fishy; Mildred has a very bad hair day when a hair growth spell goes wrong and she has to put up with know-it-all Ethel Hallow being 'helpful'.

Zack and Lara have superpowers. Luke has new school shoes and a burning sense of resentment. He KNOWS that aliens disguised as gym teachers are about to attack Earth, but will anyone listen? No. So one dodgy pact with a self-styled supervillain later, and Luke is ready to save the world. He just needs to find his trainers. My Gym Teacher Is an Alien Overlord is the action-packed sequel to the best-selling My Brother Is a Superhero.

A.J. and the gang are tired of Miss Banks and her constant pranks. They decide to get her back and, afterward, the principal, Mrs. Stoker, suggests a weeklong prank competition between the students and the teachers. If the kids manage to pull off a win, they’ll get a candy party! And so begins the most epic prank war that Ella Mentry School has ever seen! But can the kids outprank their teachers before the week is up?

Great Rapscott School for the Daughters of Busy Parents is not your typical boarding school. Students arrive in boxes, birthday cake is served for breakfast, and two very talented corgis assist the rather quirky headmistress. This semester the girls will learn how to get to The Top, but the semester is not off to a good start. One of the girls doesn't make it back to school, and when her friends try to rescue her, they wind up at the Bottom of the Barrel. Luckily Ms. Rapscott knows that learning to fail is the secret to Going Far in life.

The thrilling climax of the international bestselling MY TEACHER series finds Peter Thompson, Susan Simmons, and Duncan Dougal reunited as they face the challenge of a lifetime: How to convince the Galactic Council not to destroy our planet. The kids have one month to save the world. As an introduction to their task, their alien guardians, Broxholm and Kreeblim, lead them on a tour of Earth like no other—a no-holds-barred look at both our glories and our horrors.

The story begins when Susan Simmons returns to school from spring vacation. Susan has been looking forward to the big class play her teacher has been planning. But to her dismay Ms. Schwartz is gone... replaced by tall, handsome Mr. Smith, a strictly "by the book" teacher with some very strange habits. Investigating her new teacher, Susan makes a shocking discovery: "Mr. Smith" is actually an alien named Broxholm who is planning to abduct five students.

Eleven-year-old Simon Barnes dreams of becoming a world-famous rapper that everyone calls Notorious D.O.G. But for now, he's just a Chicago fifth grader who's small for his age and afraid to use his voice. Simon prefers to lay low at school and at home, even though he's constantly spitting rhymes in his head. But when his new teacher assigns the class an oral presentation on something that affects their community, Simon must face his fears.

When a school assembly is interrupted by an ALIEN INVASION, bookworm Finley Swinnerton finds himself catapulted into an unlikely quest to save the planet, humanity and even Derek the school Guinea Pig!

Titchy-witch may only be little, but she spells BIG trouble! Titchy-witch wants to be a pirate in the class production of Peter Pan, but there's no way her teacher will let her now that she's in trouble again. With the help of a little magic, Titchy-witch manages to charm her teacher – a bit too well! Can Titchy-witch find a way to reverse the spell and get her dream role?

Pleskit Meenom, the first alien to go to school on Earth, is starting to fit in with his new class. It's not easy, given how slippery the language is. (Just how many meanings does the word "cool" have, anyway?) But the biggest problem is Jordan Lynch, the class bully who just can't resist picking on the new kid. Finally Pleskit and his new best friend, Tim Tompkins, decide to take action. But taking action when you have alien technology at your disposal can mean taking things just a little too far...and we do mean little!

I'm Humza Khan, the greatest 11-year-old rapper Eggington ever had. I've also faced deadly alien slugs, killer aunties and double maths. But now, I (and my best friend Umer I guess) face something even scarier - my dad! He's pretty fed up with us being naughty, so he's sending us away...to school. But this is not ordinary school. This is a special summer school in Pakistan, and man, something weird is going on - someone has been messing with time! I may have to save the world again....

Jake's class finally has the best teacher in the whole world, Mr Hyde. He doesn't make them clean toilet bowls with toothbrushes, and his lessons are always fun. There is just one teeny, tiny HUGE problem. Mr Hyde transforms into a naughty little creature whenever he becomes upset. It has some amazing abilities, but being well behaved isn't one of them! Jake's class have to use all their ingenuity to hide the creature, so they can keep their brilliant teacher.

The bad news is that Cara Landry is the new kid at Denton Elementary School. The worse news is that her teacher, Mr. Larson, would rather read the paper and drink coffee than teach his students anything. So Cara decides to give Mr. Larson something else to read -- her own newspaper, The Landry News.