in this episode, i share my eating disorder + recovery story — but not in the “before/after, numbers, shock value” way. i’m not here to give you content you can compare yourself to. i’m here to give you context, meaning, and the parts that actually matter.

i talk about the early moments where body awareness and objectification started showing up way before food did, how perfectionism and high achievement shaped my brain, and how passion (for me: musical theatre) quietly morphed into an eating disorder before i even realized what was happening.

this episode is about the function of the eating disorder — not just what it looked like.

important note before you listen

i do not share weights, numbers, behavior details, or “sick photos.” my goal is for you to leave feeling less alone, not more activated.

in this episode, we cover:

• the earliest body memory i can still remember (and why it mattered)
• how objectification and “being perceived” can wire body shame early
• perfectionism: not the drive to achieve — the fear of failing
• passion + obsession: how a “good trait” can become a risk factor
• the perfect storm: temperament + stress + environment (college, change, isolation)
• how my eating disorder became intertwined with identity and performance
• the moment i realized i had achieved my dream… and felt trapped by it
• how the eating disorder functioned like an escape hatch (and why that’s so hard to let go of)
• what actually helped: support, treatment, and building a life i didn’t need to be saved from
• the question i want you to sit with: what is your eating disorder doing for you?

sponsor / resources mentioned

if you want real tools (not just insight), Recovery Skills Training is my step-by-step program that teaches the skills of recovery: food guilt, fear, identity, internal leadership, exercise, real-life situations, and more.

get $57 off with code PODCAST:
https://recoverwithchloe.thrivecart.com/recovery-skills-training/

follow along on instagram: @recoverwithchloe (instagram.com/recoverwithchloe)

timestamps
00:00 intro + how i’m sharing this safely
02:34 why “ed storytime” can be harmful
06:06 early body awareness
12:27 perfectionism + high achievement
15:12 passion → disorder
18:47 the perfect storm in college
25:04 broadway + identity crisis
30:15 the eating disorder as an emergency exit
32:54 treatment + recovery
37:34 the questions
39:12 closing thoughts

if anything in this episode brings up insight, familiarity, or emotion — i’d love to hear from you. comment wherever you’re listening, or DM me your thoughts. your story matters too.