Are you doing “all the right things” and still feeling like happiness keeps slipping through your fingers? In this episode, Dr. Diana Hill talks with Yale psychology professor and The Happiness Lab host Dr. Laurie Santos about the biggest mind traps that block joy—and the small, research-backed shifts that help you feel better in real life. Together, Diana and Laurie unpack why mind-wandering, hedonic adaptation (getting used to the good), and comparison quietly drain wellbeing—and how practices like mindfulness/savoring, treating negative emotions as helpful signals, radical acceptance, and “time affluence” can bring you back to what matters most.

Key takeaways you’ll learn in this episode:

1. The three biggest “happiness traps” (mind-wandering, adaptation, and comparison) and how to work with them.
2. Why chasing “good vibes only” can backfire—and how to redefine happiness as flourishing.
3. How to use negative emotions as signals (like a dashboard light) instead of problems to eliminate.
4. Why more money and achievement often don’t move happiness much—and what tends to help more (sleep, friends, free time, and presence).

Press play, then share this episode with a high-achiever friend (or anyone feeling stuck in the comparison spiral) who could use a science-backed reset on what actually creates joy.

Get enhanced show notes for this episode

• Order my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.
• Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.

• Reserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!
• See Diana at an upcoming event

• Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
• Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.
• Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.
• Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.
• Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram,

Do you keep getting stuck in the same fights or feeling rejected in your relationship? In this episode of The Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill shares an evidence-based talk on the science of “wise and fierce” relationships, then follows with a conversation with athlete and entrepreneur Gabby Reece about what helps partnerships last.

Diana draws on relationship research and her clinical experience to explain why conflict isn’t the main problem—repair is—and on what predicts relationship satisfaction: commitment, appreciation, responsiveness, and sexual satisfaction. She also discusses research on sexual frequency and how motivation matters more than frequency (“getting it on” vs. “getting it over with”).

Diana offers a practical exercise to help listeners “put down the broom” of rigid stories: write your story about your partner and their story about you, identify the “negative truth,” then (1) create disconfirming evidence by noticing what contradicts your story about them, and (2) do something that proves their story about you wrong. In the conversation, Gabby describes how respect, emotional honesty, daily connection rituals, and sustaining momentum—along with supporting each partner’s individual passions—strengthen her decades-long marriage to Laird, and they discuss reframing intimacy bids and avoiding complacency.

Listen and share this episode with someone you want to strengthen a relationship with.

1. Why repair after disharmony matters more than avoiding conflict
2. The key relationship ingredients identified across 43 studies: commitment, appreciation, responsiveness, and sexual satisfaction
3. What the research suggests about sex frequency and why “getting it on” vs. “getting it over with” changes satisfaction

Get enhanced show notes for this episode

• Order my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.
• Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.

• Reserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!
• See Diana at an upcoming event

• Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
• Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.
• Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.

Are you seeking more empathy, less fear, and stronger connections in a divided world? In this episode of The Wise Effort Show, Dr. Diana Hill discusses the power of the four immeasurables—loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. Dr. Hill explains how these qualities can positively affect your brain, body, and relationships, and offers practical exercises and insights to cultivate them. Join us to learn inspiring techniques to bring more kindness into your life and to those around you.

1. The impact of loving kindness on mental and physical well-being
2. How simple acts of kindness can reduce anxiety and foster a sense of belonging
3. Practical exercises like Tadasana and alternate nostril breathing to practice loving kindness
4. The importance of invisible helpers in daily life.

You can also enjoy Diana’s related Bonus Meditation: Kind Love

Get enhanced show notes for this episode

• Order my book, Wise Effort: How to Focus Your Genius Energy on What Matters Most, and receive special bonus gifts.
• Want to become more psychologically flexible? Take Diana's "Foundations of ACT" course.

• Reserve your spot in Diana's Costa Rica retreat in 2026!
• See Diana at an upcoming event

• Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
• Leave a 5-star review on Apple so people like you can find the show.
• Sign up for the free Wise Effort Newsletter.
• Become a Wise Effort member to support the show.
• Follow Diana on YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Diana’s website.

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