Why You’re Seeing Your Spouse Wrong: and How to Change It (Repost of Episode 47)
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About this listen
We’re bringing back one of our earlier Marriage IQ episodes—because the patterns that drive conflict in marriage haven’t changed, and this conversation is just as relevant today as ever.
Ever wonder why the same arguments keep resurfacing in your relationship? Or why small misunderstandings can suddenly spiral into major conflict? In this episode, we explore a powerful (and often invisible) force at work in every marriage: cognitive biases—the unconscious mental shortcuts that shape how we see, interpret, and react to our spouse.
We kick things off with a raw, real-life moment from our own marriage—an airport miscommunication that quickly turned into unexpected tension—and use it as a springboard to unpack how easily bias can hijack connection.
In this episode, we cover:
🧠 The 6 Hidden Biases That Shape Marriage
Implicit Bias: The default assumptions you bring into love
Perceptual Bias: How your personal “marriage glasses” distort reality
Self-Serving Bias: Why we’re quick to excuse ourselves and criticize our spouse
Attribution Bias: Assuming negative intent instead of extending grace
Confirmation Bias: How we subconsciously look for proof that we’re right
Expectation Bias: The “Disney effect” of unrealistic relationship ideals
We also bust common myths—like the idea that happy couples are immune to bias or that these patterns can’t be changed. Spoiler: they can.
This is a repost of one of our previous episodes, and whether you’re hearing it for the first time or revisiting it with fresh ears, it’s a powerful reminder that a healthier marriage often starts with clearer thinking.
🎧 Tune in and start seeing your relationship through smarter, more compassionate eyes—because when you change the way you think, you change the way you love.
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