Gabor Maté discusses the link between “nice people,” emotional repression stemming from childhood trauma, and illness. He argues that the inability to say “no” and prioritize one’s own needs, often rooted in a desperate need for attachment, leads to suppressed anger and ultimately impacts the immune and nervous systems. This repression manifests physically as illness, with examples given of multiple sclerosis and lung cancer. Maté emphasizes the importance of authenticity and recognizing the body’s signals, reclaiming the natural expression of needs present from birth, as crucial for health and healing. The illness itself can serve as a wake-up call prompting individuals to learn healthier boundaries and self-advocacy.

• 🤔 The root of “niceness”: Maté distinguishes between genuine compassion and the “niceness” born from repressed anger and a desperate need for external validation stemming from childhood trauma. This learned behavior compromises authenticity and self-care.

• 😡 Repressed Anger & Illness: Suppressing anger, a natural human emotion, weakens the immune system and can contribute to the development of serious illnesses like multiple sclerosis and lung cancer.

• 💔 Trauma’s impact: Childhood trauma disconnects individuals from their gut feelings and innate ability to express needs, leading to a lifelong pattern of people-pleasing and self-neglect.

• 💪 Authenticity as a path to healing: Embracing authenticity, setting boundaries, and learning to say “no” are crucial for breaking free from the cycle of people-pleasing and improving physical and mental well-being.

• 👶 Reclaiming innate needs: Maté emphasizes that the ability to express needs is inherent from birth; the learned behavior of suppressing them is a result of trauma and needs to be consciously unlearned.

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