Jake Hamilton, founder of Behind the Fight, sits down with the Real Mentors Podcast to drop raw truth about masculinity, marriage, and what actually changes a man.

After nearly losing his marriage to church-approved workaholism, Jake was confronted with a brutal reality: you will never transform a marriage unless you have the man’s heart. In this episode, he unpacks why a man has to go first, why 50/50 relationships don’t work, and how one decision—not leaving—can course-correct a high percentage of marriages over time.

Alongside his wife Nicci, Jake opens up about father wounds, shame, work, faith, and rebuilding a marriage that had become “not a marriage.” They break down how childhood patterns show up in conflict, what women really want (security and stability), what men really want (desire and respect), and how to build a relationship and a life that are led, not controlled.

This Episode Explores:

- “You will never transform a marriage unless you have the man’s heart”

- The stat that most marriages eventually course-correct if the man simply decides not to leave

- Why a man has to go first—even when he doesn’t feel like it

- Why 50/50 relationships fail and pull women out of their feminine

- What women really want vs. what men really want

- Workaholism in church culture and how “serving” can quietly destroy your family

- How Jake and Nicci rebuilt from “I’m not divorcing you, but this ain’t a marriage”

- Calling men up vs. calling men out (and why shame doesn’t work)

- “Whatever we don’t transform will be transferred” to our kids and relationships

- Building a business and mission with your spouse without losing the marriage

- Embracing tension: why there is no “arrival” and purpose is a spiral, not a finish line

This episode is about real manhood, real pressure, and the courage it takes to stay, lead, and transform when everything in you wants to run.

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🔗 Connect with Jake and Nicci Hamilton

Instagram: https://instagram.com/thejakehamilton | https://instagram.com/niccihamilton

Behind the Fight: https://thisisthefight.com/

Follow REAL Mentors Podcast

Instagram: https://instagram.com/realmentorspodcast

Host Sean Martin: https://instagram.com/theseanmartin

Book: https://instagram.com/beyondthebronxbook

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Tags & Keywords (for YouTube / podcast backend)

Jake Hamilton, Behind the Fight, Real Mentors Podcast, Beyond The Bronx Book, Sean Martin, masculinity, manhood, marriage advice, marriage transformation, relationships, husbands, wives, traditional relationships, 50/50 relationships don’t work, feminine and masculine energy, security and stability, desire and respect, workaholism, church culture, Christian marriage, faith and family, fatherhood, father wounds, generational trauma, emotional health, men’s mental health, men’s group, men’s work, calling men up, leadership, purpose, legacy, building a business with your spouse, rebuilding marriage, staying not leaving, how to be a man in marriage