Don’t mistake growth pain for being on the wrong path.

Episode Summary
What happens when the roles that once felt safe start to suffocate you? In this episode, I talk about outgrowing the “caretaker” cage—how overgiving becomes a prison, what grief looks like when you shed old identities, and why the discomfort of change is not a sign you’re failing. I share real stories (yes, including the time I basically became someone’s unpaid mom… and the night I built his desk with Allen wrenches at 11 p.m.—spoiler: IKEA does not resurrect dead motivation), plus the pivotal moments that helped me choose discernment over depletion.

You’ll hear:

• How to tell purpose from self-sacrifice

• Why grief shows up when you stop playing the role that once kept you safe

• A gentle take on neuroplasticity (your brain rewiring during growth)

• Practical rituals and body-based tools to support change

• A short letter I wrote to my past self—and an invitation to write yours

Reflection Prompts

• What role are you still playing that no longer fits who you’re becoming?

• Who is a version of you that you’ve had to say goodbye to? Can you name and thank them?

• What bars are your wings brushing against right now? Can you name them?

Try This (Tools & Rituals)

• 4–7–8 Breath: Hand on chest + hand on belly. Inhale 4, hold 7, exhale 8. Repeat x3.

• Shake It Out: Shake arms, roll shoulders, stomp your feet. (If Florence can shake it out in a cape, you can shake it out in sweatpants.)

• Grief Rituals: Light a candle and whisper the name of the self you’re releasing; write a letter and safely burn it; or place a symbolic object on a shelf.

• Ink the Pattern: Write the role on paper (caretaker/fixer/the strong one). Cross it out. That’s the first crack in the cage.

Music Referenced

• Kelly Clarkson — Breakaway (“I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly…”)

• Mumford & Sons — The Cave (“I’ll find strength in pain, and I will change my ways…”)

• Florence + The Machine — Shake It Out (“It’s hard to dance with a devil on your back, so shake him off…”)

• Joni Mitchell — Both Sides Now (“I’ve looked at life from both sides now…”)
  (Lyrics quoted for commentary/education.)

Neuroscience Touchpoints

• Neuroplasticity: The brain forms/weakens pathways as habits change—awkwardness = rewiring in progress.

• Limbic System: Processes loss (including identity-loss).

• Prefrontal Cortex: Helps integrate grief once it’s named.

Connect
If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who might be outgrowing their own cage.
DM me on Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook—I’d love to hear your story. Links in the notes.
Subscribe so you don’t miss the next step on the path.

Content Note
Mentions of grief and relationship patterns.

Writing, narration & production: Rachel (Ray)
Music references & neuroscience notes listed above.

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Instagram: @thestarlitpathwc84

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