Episodes

  • SLOW Light Speed!

    SLOW Light Speed!
    Aug 22 2025
    What the if the speed of light crawled along at walking speed instead of zipping around at 300,000 kilometers per second? Tracey McCallum from Ontario wondered about this scenario. Imagine reaching for your cat only to grab empty air because she's already somewhere else entirely. Baseball becomes a black-hole-creating death sport when pitchers throw faster than light speed. Concert audiences sing different verses simultaneously depending on their distance from the stage. Fiber optic internet becomes slower than carrier pigeons. Anyone wanting to outlive their annoying roommate just needs to jog around the apartment for a month to age slower than everyone else. The catch? They'll also get so massive that furniture starts flying toward them. Discover how messing with the universe's speed limit turns ordinary physics into extraordinary chaos. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention
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    43 mins
  • Alien PETS!

    Alien PETS!
    Aug 15 2025
    Matt & Gaby are on assignment this week, so we present an encore presentation of one of our most popular episodes. This one is super fun and comes from Sept. 16, 2024. We hope you enjoy it. --- What if humans were the latest must-have pet for trendy aliens? This episode explores the hilarious and bizarre scenario of extraterrestrial beings snatching us up like puppies from a shelter. From alien vets poking and prodding us for space parasites to the culinary delights of human kibble, we dive into the wacky world of human domestication. Discover the joys of alien fashion shows featuring humans in adorable hats, and the headaches caused by mischievous humans forming underground resistance movements at the local alien graveyard. We even ponder the age-old alien question: "Do you think my human understands me when I talk to it in Zorblaxian?" This thought-provoking "what if" scenario was suggested by listener Dan Floyd. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention
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    52 mins
  • Nuclear REACTORS on the Moon!

    Nuclear REACTORS on the Moon!
    Aug 8 2025
    What the if there was a nuclear reactor on the moon? NASA wants to launch a 100-kilowatt nuclear reactor to the lunar surface before 2030, powerful enough to run about 80 households. From the terrifying "tickling the dragon's tail" experiments at Los Alamos where scientists held uranium chunks apart with just a screwdriver, to the reality that plutonium feels "like holding a rabbit" when you touch it, explore how chain reactions work and why control rods keep reactors from exploding. Because nothing says "home sweet home" like splitting atoms 240,000 miles from Earth. Based on "NASA Is Getting Fired Up About a Nuclear Reactor on the Moon" by Kenneth Chang, published in The New York Times on Aug. 6, 2025 https://www.nytimes.com/2025/08/06/science/nasa-nuclear-reactor-moon.html?unlocked_article_code=1.ck8.Dvm_.ld6cKROnhA6r&smid=url-share --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention
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    45 mins
  • Don't SWEAT It!

    Don't SWEAT It!
    Aug 1 2025
    Anne from Queens, a longtime listener and proud sticker-carrying Patreon supporter, inspired this week's episode by asking: what the if humans couldn't sweat? Discover a world where everyone walks around panting like dogs with their tongues hanging out, cities install massive water pipeline infrastructure for knee-deep living rooms, and portable misters become as essential as smartphones. From the science of why dogs can't sweat to the physics of evaporative cooling, explore how we'd adapt with everything from swamp coolers to giant handheld fans. Just remember: in this world, breaking a sweat is literally impossible! --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention
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    46 mins
  • BIG Telescopes!

    BIG Telescopes!
    Jul 25 2025
    What the if we just kept making telescopes bigger and bigger until they're the size of entire planetary orbits? Starting with the new Vera Rubin Observatory's 21-foot camera that immediately spotted 2,000 asteroids, explore a world where astronomers drop telescopes throughout Earth's orbit to create a synthetic lens 200 million miles wide. Discover how gravitational lenses could let you see taxi cabs on distant planets, why you'd need to be a billion miles from the Sun to use it as a magnifying glass, and how synthetic aperture telescopes work like having two eyes but separated by the width of solar systems. From spotting individual continents on exoplanets to taking year-long exposure photographs of alien worlds, turns out the universe's ultimate camera might already be built into the fabric of space itself. Based on "Earth's Largest Camera Takes Three Billion Pixel Images of the Night Sky" by Jonathan Corum and Kenneth Chang, published in The New York Times on June 19, 2025: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/06/19/science/rubin-observatory-camera.html?unlocked_article_code=1.XU8.oT2z.kiE9AZtjeDDr&smid=url-share --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention
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    27 mins
  • DNA Goes BOLDLY

    DNA Goes BOLDLY
    Jul 18 2025
    Apologies for the delay in posting episodes! Holiday and travel got the best of us. But we're back, baby! ---- WHAT THE IF we could trade genes like playing cards? Scientists have discovered that fungi possess "Starship elements" - massive genetic cassettes that jump between species carrying cargo genes for superpowers like heavy metal resistance. These DNA chunks got their Star Trek names because researchers kept seeing Vulcan hand signs in their data when one fungus had the element and another didn't. From Kirk sequences that captain the whole operation to the possibility of stealing radiation resistance from a handshake, explore a world where your genome becomes as swappable as your wardrobe. Discover why OSHA might regulate genetic exchanges, how you could wake up having lost your Kardashian-level beauty overnight, and why shaking hands with Keith Richards could grant immortality. Just don't accidentally trade away your radiation-proofing during a one-night stand. --- Find out more about Gaby's science fiction short story! Here are the links for the anthology. The physical copy can be ordered here : https://www.neonhemlock.com/books/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention The ebook can be ordered here: https://www.neonhemlock.com/ebooks/luminescent-machinations-queer-tales-of-monumental-invention
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    38 mins
  • The Case Of The MISSING Physics!

    The Case Of The MISSING Physics!
    Jun 28 2025
    What the if we could go back to 1930 and experience the reluctant discovery of an entirely new kind of particle? When electrons started bouncing off things with missing momentum, physicist Wolfgang Pauli faced a choice: abandon the fundamental law of conservation of energy or invent something completely invisible to save physics. His solution was the neutrino - a particle so tiny and elusive it took 40 years to actually detect one, but so essential that billions are zipping through your body right now. From billiard ball analogies with microscopic fleas to using these ghostly particles to peek inside the sun, discover how scientists sometimes have to imagine entire new pieces of the universe just to keep their theories from falling apart. Meanwhile, Antarctic balloons are detecting mysterious signals that might be doing the exact same thing all over again. Based on "Strange Signals Detected From Antarctic Ice Seem To Defy The Laws Of Physics" by Ashley Strickland, published on CNN.com https://www.cnn.com/2025/06/20/science/anomalous-signals-antarctica-neutrino-detectors
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    46 mins
  • TOTAL PERSPECTIVE VORTEX

    TOTAL PERSPECTIVE VORTEX
    Jun 20 2025
    [Matt & Gaby are away this week, so please enjoy this Encore Presentation of one of our most popular episodes.] What The IF... you could see the TRUE SCALE of the Universe? We imagine entering the notorious torture device from he dastardly mind of the great Douglas Adams. Tune in to find out how it feels, and bring a BIG EGO and a hunger for fairy cake because this is a mind expanding adventure if you have a tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny HUMAN MIND. Don't Panic! ---- Got an IF of your own? Want to have us consider your idea for a show topic? Send YOUR IF to us! Email us at feedback@whattheif.com and let us know what's in your imagination. No idea is too small, or too big! --- Want to support the show? Click a rating or add a review on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app! itunes.apple.com/podcast/id1250517051?mt=2&ls=1 Don’t miss an episode! Subscribe at WhatTheIF.com Keep On IFFin', Philip, Matt & Gaby
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    49 mins