In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, host Jose Gonzalez and guest Dr. Brad Hinman dive into Step 4 of their eight-step recovery model: defining the real problem behind compulsive sexual behaviors like porn use. They emphasize that while porn might seem like the core issue, it’s actually a symptom of deeper emotional needs—such as a lack of affirmation, respect, or validation—that aren’t being met in healthy ways. The conversation explores how therapists help clients uncover these underlying issues by looking for themes in their personal histories and recurring emotional patterns. Jose and Dr. Hinman share insights on the challenges men face in identifying their “why,” including resistance to change, never having reflected on their motivations before, and societal habits of compartmentalizing problems. The episode ends with practical advice for those struggling to define their core issues, encouraging gentle self-reflection and curiosity to find healthier coping mechanisms rather than relying on porn or other destructive habits.

Eight Step Model viewable PDF⁠

https://shorturl.at/MDJUC

Timestamps:

00:00 "Defining the Problem: Step 4"

06:27 Identifying and Addressing Needs

07:08 Life's Bird's Eye View Insights

11:43 Resistance to Change

15:49 Identifying Roots of Conflict

18:35 Reflect on Past to Heal Future

22:34 "Understanding and Disassembling Coping Mechanisms"

24:57 Overcoming Negative Behaviors

27:09 Personalized Coping Mechanism Discovery

33:41 Introspective Coping Without Unhealthy Habits

36:04 "Be Your Own Detective"

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In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, host Jose Gonzalez and guest Dr. Brad Hinman break down what to expect during your first visit to a sex therapist. They discuss common anxieties and misconceptions—like embarrassment, fear of judgment, or not knowing what sex therapists actually do—and reassure listeners that sex therapy is professional, confidential, and supportive.

The conversation covers what typically happens in a first session (mostly talking, no physical exams!), the range of issues sex therapists help with (from desire differences and dysfunction to infidelity and sexual identity concerns), and practical tips on how to prepare. Above all, they encourage listeners to feel comfortable seeking help early and highlight the importance of honesty, openness, and humor in the therapeutic process.

Timestamps

00:00 First Sex Therapy Visit Guide

04:59 Lack of Sex Therapy Education

07:03 Talking Openly About Sex

12:41 Therapy Avoidance Phenomenon

15:07 Confidentiality and Honesty Encouraged

18:16 Problem Identification and Solutions Collaboration

20:32 Unique Challenges in Sex Therapy

25:08 Misconceptions About Sex Therapy

27:09 Define Therapy Goals

32:18 Restoring Lightness in Relationships

33:18 Lightening Awkward Conversations

38:06 Sex Therapy Insurance Coverage

42:07 Detached Perspective on Sex Therapy

43:20 "Wet Dreams Podcast Disclaimer"

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In this episode of the Wet Dreamz Podcast, Jose and Brad get real about divorce—how messy, confusing, and emotionally tough it can be, especially for guys. They talk about everything from couples using divorce as a threat, to the weird “should we/shouldn’t we?” dynamic around sex during and after splitting up. The hosts dive into how divorce can seriously mess with a guy's sexual confidence, self-worth, and even lead to things like erectile dysfunction, especially when jumping into new relationships too soon.

They also tackle the myth of staying together “for the kids” (spoiler: the kids almost always know what's up), and remind listeners that it’s way more important to work on yourself, figure out what went wrong, and give yourself time before diving into something new. There’s a lot of honesty here—about heartbreak, confusion, and healing—and the big message is: don’t go it alone. Therapy, reflection, and reaching out for support can make a massive difference when you’re picking up the pieces after a divorce. If you’re in the thick of it or just coming out the other side, this episode is a comforting, no-judgment look at how to move forward with a little more clarity and self-compassion.

Timestamps

00:00 "Divorce and Sexual Health"

06:18 Sex During Imminent Divorce

07:44 Confusing Intimacy and Relationship Status

13:03 Divorce: Men's Sexual Self-Esteem

16:14 Sex, Relationships, and Emotional Confusion

18:40 Misconceptions After Relationships End

20:53 Fear of Vulnerability and Intimacy

23:40 "Double Heartbreak Reflection"

28:49 "Relationships Complicated by Kids"

32:40 Kids Sense Troubled Relationships

34:56 Triggers in New Relationships

37:30 Post-Divorce Therapy Guidance

40:21 Divorce and Sexual Health Strategies

43:42 Self-Reflection for Personal Growth

47:53 "Growth Through Divorce Challenges"

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