In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, Kendra and Ryan Hewitt dive into two of the most damaging patterns in marriage: resentment and reactivity. Why do women tend to harbor resentment while men lean into reactivity? And how do these hidden dynamics quietly sabotage connection, intimacy, and trust? Sharing personal stories—from missed lunches to deeper wounds—they unpack how old patterns creep into everyday moments and what it takes to break free. Whether you're keeping score or struggling to control your reactions, this episode will open your eyes to new ways of showing up in your marriage with freedom, grace, and strength.

Key Takeaways:

• Why resentment builds silently (especially for women)
  

• How reactivity masks deeper wounds (especially for men)
  

• What the "tit-for-tat" trap looks like—and how to get out of it
  

• The power of recognition and ownership in stopping toxic cycles
  

• How small shifts (like gratitude and acknowledgment) change everything
  

• Practical ways to step into a new operating system for your marriage

"Men tend to react. Women tend to resent. Either way, you’re stuck in a cycle until you both get honest."

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In today’s heartfelt conversation, Kendra and Dr. Ryan Hewitt share a story they’ve never fully told before; their unexpected journey back to church, back to God, and deeper into their marriage. Sparked by an emotional Easter weekend and a powerful message about "looking up," they reflect on how reconnecting with faith shifted the foundation of their relationship. From the profound experience of being baptized together to learning how to stop forcing outcomes and start trusting God’s timing, Kendra and Dr. Ryan open up vulnerably about anger, healing, personal growth, and the power of spiritual intimacy. Whether you’re married, dating, or simply seeking a deeper connection with God, this episode offers encouragement for building a marriage that looks up before it looks around.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How a spontaneous baptism changed the trajectory of their marriage
  

• Why "looking up" instead of "looking backward, sideways, or forward" can transform your relationship
  

• The emotional undercurrents behind drifting from and returning to faith
  

• How integrating personal responsibility with God's leadership deepens marital intimacy
  

• Why true healing in marriage starts with looking inward and upward, not outward

"Church isn’t just a place you go — it’s the posture of your heart."

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website

In this episode of The Weaponized Marriage Podcast, hosts Dr. Ryan and Kendra Hewitt dive into a thought-provoking discussion sparked by a recent church sermon on the Sermon on the Mount, focusing on the complex topic of lust. With humor, vulnerability, and real-life anecdotes, they explore how lust, attraction, and sexual energy impact marriages, drawing from their own experiences to offer practical insights for couples. From addressing the stigma around sex in Christian culture to unpacking the emotional and physical dimensions of lust, Dr. Ryan and Kendra tackle how to channel energy back into your relationship and avoid the silent drift that can erode intimacy. They share hard-earned lessons about confronting tough truths, cleaning up social media feeds, and fostering open communication to protect the sacred bond of marriage.

Key Takeaways:

1. Distinguish Between Attraction and Lust: Noticing beauty is natural, but lust involves pursuing or fantasizing about someone other than your spouse, which can divert emotional and sexual energy from your marriage.

2. Protect Your Energy: Be mindful of where you’re directing your attention—whether it’s social media, porn, or flirtatious interactions—and redirect that energy toward your spouse to strengthen intimacy.

3. Honesty is the Foundation: Small lies, like secret habits or minimized behaviors, can lead to disconnection. Transparency, even in tough conversations, is crucial for rebuilding trust and closeness.

4. Courageous Communication: Confronting issues like drifting energy or unmet needs requires vulnerability and a safe space within the marriage, but it’s often the gateway to breakthroughs.

5. The Phone Test: If you can’t leave your phone out without worrying about what your spouse might see, it’s a red flag that you’re hiding something that could harm your relationship.

This episode is a must-listen for couples seeking to deepen their connection, navigate cultural pressures, and build a marriage grounded in truth and mutual respect.

“A mentally and emotionally healthy woman will feel when you are looking at other women lustfully versus appreciation of their attraction, and a woman also knows when you’re starting to walk down the path from lust to pursuing lust."

Learn more about Kendra Hewitt by visiting the following links:

Instagram

Learn more about Dr. Ryan Hewitt by visiting the following links:
Dr. Ryan Hewitt Website