We like to think emotional language makes relationships safer. In this episode, I examine how words like boundaries, triggered, and protecting my peace are often used to avoid accountability without looking like avoidance.

I break down how conflict quietly gets reframed from “what happened between us” to “how you made me feel by bringing this up,” how this shift changes the power dynamic in a relationship, and why it trains partners to stop telling the truth over time.

This pattern doesn’t usually end relationships through big fights. It erodes them through silence, hesitation, and conversations that never happen — until distance becomes the default.

This episode looks at what “staying” actually means in real conflict: not performing calm, not using language to exit, but remaining present long enough to hear impact instead of protecting your position.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• How emotional and therapy language can function as an avoidance strategy in conflict
  

• Why choosing “peace” over repair slowly drains intimacy from relationships
  

• What it practically means to stay in a hard conversation instead of exiting it
  

If you’ve ever felt like your relationship is calm but distant, or like hard conversations keep disappearing instead of getting resolved, this episode explains the pattern underneath.

Xxoo Darcy

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REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

X:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Listener Subscription

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In the season opener of We Need To Talk, I sit down with bestselling therapist and founder of Relational Life Therapy, Terry Real, to expose the part of you that’s actually running your relationships. We talk about the “younger part” that learned to survive in your family, how it hijacks your adult brain in conflict, and what it takes to get your wise adult back online when all you want to do is fight, flee, or fix. Terry doesn’t just explain the model—he uses me and my marriage as the live example. If your relationships keep looping the same arguments, this episode is the map.

Xxoo Darcy

REFERENCES/RESOURCES

www.alternativescounseling.com

Terryreal.com

Relationallife.com

www.instagram.com/realterryreal/

Us: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship

CREDITS

“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.

DISCLAIMER

Instagram:@drdarcysterling

Facebook:Dr.Darcy Sterling

Tik Tok:@doctordarcysterling

X:@DrDarcySterling

YouTube:@DarcySterling

Threads:@drdarcysterling

Watch this episode here on YouTube.

Listener Subscription

Season 3