This week, we come in hot — starting with wuxia vibes, holiday chaos, and cursed Christmas remixes of “September” — before diving into music stats, Taskmaster binges, Eden’s Wuxia/Baihe adventures, and Peter’s latest reading spree (including Gödel, Escher, Bach). Eventually, we embark on the Most Important Cultural Work of Our Time: a fast-food and fast-casual tier list. Along the way, we crown unexpected champions, bury some long-held myths (looking directly at you, In-N-Out), and declare Waffle House the beating heart of American civilization. It’s unhinged, joyful, occasionally shameful, and fully definitive.

Opening Shenanigans

• Eden opens with an incredible wuxia monologue introducing Beauty’s Blade, the Baihe novel they’ve been reading.
• Peter tries (and fails) to match the energy.
• Thanksgiving recaps: delayed flights, Target wandering, and the absolute war crime that is “Do You Remember…the 21st Night of December” playing over store speakers.

Life Updates & Media

• End-of-year malaise, work overload, and winter dread.
• Apple Music Replay breakdowns:
  • Peter: another year, another Slow Forever domination.
  • Eden: a deeply chaotic top-albums list featuring Rebecca Black, Japanese jazz fusion, KPM library music, and Tron: Legacy.
• Taskmaster binges continue.
• Peter’s current reading includes Three-Body Problem and the 900-page Gödel, Escher, Bach.
• Eden is deep into Where Winds Meet (“What if Assassin’s Creed but Wuxia and optionally an MMO?”), and fully living in Jianghu.
• Manga corner: Kaiju Girl Caramelise is adorable and unhinged in equal measure.

🎖️

The Great Fast-Food Tier List

Certified THE BEST

• Domino’s – the undisputed king of delivery pizza.
• Five Guys – elite burgers, elite fries, elite price tag.
• Portillo’s – Italian beef nirvana.
• Schlotzky’s – elevated to divinity thanks to Peter and Alyssa’s first date.
• Taco Bell – delicious, shameful, transcendent.
• Waffle House – an American institution and FEMA-indexed miracle.

Strong Contenders (B-Tier)

• Dairy Queen – chicken strip baskets, Texas toast, and blizzards: a holy trinity.
• Long John Silver’s – Eden’s forbidden love.
• McDonald’s – the fries that define civilization.
• Panda Express – orange chicken supremacy.
• Skyline Chili – Eden-approved, Cassie-reviled.
• Wendy’s – consistently solid.
• White Castle – cheesy sliders hit just right.

Perfectly Fine (C-Tier)

Places we’d go to with zero enthusiasm and zero complaint:

A&W, Bojangles, Burger King, Carl’s Jr./Hardee’s, Firehouse Subs, Jersey Mike’s, Jimmy John’s (fast only), KFC, Little Caesars, Noodles & Co., Panera, Quiznos, Whataburger, Wienerschnitzel.

Ehhh (D-Tier)

Arby’s wet paper towel meat, Culver’s overrated custard, Del Taco’s value plays, Denny’s at 2am, Papa John’s overpriced cardboard, Pizza Hut nostalgia only, Popeye’s here-but-not-here, Qdoba mid-Mex, Sbarro mall sadness, Sonic for drinks only.

Absolutely Not (F-Tier)

• Chick-fil-A (for reasons both ethical and culinary)
• Chipotle (poop-from-a-butt energy)
• In-N-Out (the most overrated chain in America; fries taste like unwashed ass)
• IHOP (international house of poop)
• Stake & Shake (weird political tallow energy)
• Subway (fell from grace when they stopped cutting the V in the bread)
• Wingstop (wings overrated; nuggets forever)

Closing Thoughts

• We discover we are not fast-food people…except for when we are.