"I'm just a lowly cook." To mark Arrow Video's release of Under Siege in 4K UHD, we're watching the indisputable high point of Steven Seagal's career for the first time since we were teenagers. Will the bit we remember still be in there? Is his acting still terrible? Has there ever been stronger competition for the Dam Buster's Dog Prize For Most Problematic Moment? Joining us is Joe Twyman of DeltaPoll, to explain why you really have to be a 14-year-old boy in 1993 to appreciate this film.

Next week, a proper war movie: we're watching The Cockleshell Heroes.

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You want answers? You think you're entitled? You can't handle the truth! This week we're marking the death of Rob Reiner by watching the closest thing he made to a war movie: A Few Good Men. Was Tom Cruise ever snappier? Was Jack Nicholson ever shoutier? How many of those medals did any of the characters deserve?

Joining Rob is Hadley Freeman, Sunday Times journalist, author, and interviewers of everyone who made a film in the 80s.

Next week, we're enlisting the aid of a Playboy model to retake our ship, as we watch Under Siege.

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What could be more Christmassy, or more war-y, than Angela Lansbury punching Nazis? This week, we're off down Portobello Road and away under the briny sea as we watch the Disney classic war movie-witchcraft crossover Bedknobs and Broomsticks. We're joined by comedy writer James Kettle, whose hits include The Life I Lead, a play about Bedknobs actor James Tomlinson.

Next week, in memory of Rob Reiner, we're watching A Few Good Men.

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Laurence Olivier! Gregory Peck! Baby Hitler! Excited by the news that scientists have finally - finally! - managed to sequence the Fuhrer's DNA, Rob and Duncan are joined by Times history correspondent Jack Blackburn, a young man with a disturbing resemblance to... no, that can't be right. They're watching The Boys From Brazil, the Nazi buffet-crashing, father-murdering Nazi-cloning thriller comedy classic. With a smorgasbord of Nasty Nazis and tremendous deaths, the awards section is wide open in the only podcast to bring you rock-solid info on both James Mason's contract negotiations and Hitler's micro-penis.

Next week, in a Christmas special, we're watching Bedknobs and Broomsticks.

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This week, Rob and Duncan are stranded in the Mediterranean, holding out against constant bombing, and starving under siege conditions, watching Malta Story. They're joined by former Downing Street Director of Communications Matthew Doyle, who since we recorded has joined the House of Lords - the second peer to come on the show.

Jack Hawkins is as good as ever, but how is Alec Guinness as a romantic reconnaissance pilot? Is it fair to the people of Malta for the film to spend quite so much time dealing with the island's one spy? And might this actually be the operation that changed the course of WW2?

Next week: The Boys From Brazil.

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For the second week running, we're with Australian troops, this time in the 1941 defence of Tobruk. Desert Rats took its name from a different unit, and quite a few liberties with the history, but it also delivered a some terrific scenes of commandos sneaking through the enemy lines on do-or-die missions, and caught Richard Burton as he was on the brink of stardom. And then of course there's James Mason, James Masoning.

Next week: Malta Story.

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Peter Weir's 1981 Gallipoli set both him and Mel Gibson on a path to Hollywood glory, and also helped establish the popular narrative for a campaign that is crucial to Australia's national identity. Which is hardly a surprise, as it's one of the greatest films about the Great War. Even though -- or because -- it actually doesn't feature that much war.

Rob and Duncan are joined by Chris Kempshall, historian of the First World War and Star Wars (though not both at once), and consultant on the forthcoming Gallipoli game, to discuss why the film is a great teaching aid, why posh Aussies sounded just like Brits in 1915, and why synth music was the obvious soundtrack for a 100m race in 1981 movies.

Trigger warning: This podcast contains references to both England and Australia batting performances in the first Ashes test that some listeners may find distressing.

Next week: The Desert Rats.

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A beloved British hero, an evil German, a super-weapon, and... a time-travelling 1980s New York executive? How did everyone get it so wrong when it came to putting WW1 flying ace Biggles on the big screen? It was supposed to be a rival to Raiders of the Lost Ark, then it was going to be the new Back to the Future. In the end it was a war crime. And that's before we get to the music.

Rob and Duncan are joined by Biggles fanboy Mark Wallace to discuss what might have been, why Biggles stories are far tougher than many people understand, and why a fictional pilot played a real role in the Battle of Britain.

Next week: Gallipoli.

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