Mitch visits the venerated interlocutor at the legendary cat ranch one last time and uncovers a horrific secret.

Endnotes:

1. Milton Berle (with Haskel Frankel), An Autobiography (New York, Delacorte Press, 1974) p.35. Capsule Review: Starts with a salacious story about an affair with an ingenue engaged to a studio boss. He starts alluding to the enormity of his phallus by page 12. Lots of score-settling for his perceived detractors and praise for his friends and heroes. The basic rags-to-riches arc growing up on the streets of NY in the waning days of Vaudeville and getting in early on the rise of Hollywood. Slack Score: 6; Snark Score: 11; Overall FCA ranking: 25
2. Joseph Grimaldi, Memoirs of Joseph Grimaldi (as edited by “Boz,” aka Charles Dickens, 1838; modern ed. London: Folio Society, 2014) p.v. Capsule Review: The granddaddy of sad clowns and self-inflicted pratfalls, dictated while the author’s spine was literally collapsing. The laughs are dated, but the theme of comedy as an anesthetic for despair remains timeless. Slack Score: –12; Snark Score: 5; Overall FCA ranking: 23
3. Juvenal, The Sixteen Satires (London, Folio Society, 2014) Satire XI, p.99. Capsule Review: a cranky Roman complaining about open mics and bad audiences. His shot at Herodes Atticus is basically “Nice mansion, shame about your morals.” Proof that even under a dictatorship, comics still found time to roast the rich and moralize. Slack Score: 0; Snark Score: 13; Overall FCA ranking: 137
4. Rodney Dangerfield, It’s Not Easy Being Me; A Lifetime of No Respect but Plenty of Sex and Drugs (New York, Harper-Collins, 2004) p.264. Capsule Review: A surprisingly tragic chronicle of the everyman philosopher. Between punchlines, many drawn from the act, Dangerfield reveals a life of deep and genuine insecurity. Slack Score: –4; Snark Score: 7.2; Overall FCA ranking: 32
5. Cameron Esposito, Save Yourself (New York, Grand Central Publishing, 2020) p.77. Capsule Review: Earnest, funny, occasionally poignant coming-of-age story with a soupçon of stand-up autobiography mixed in. Esposito dissects Catholic guilt, gender performance, and comedy careerism with much self-awareness. Slack Score: 1; Snark Score: 10 (mostly self-directed); Overall FCA ranking: 122
6. Dick Gregory, N****r (New York, Penguin, 1964) p.223. Capsule Review: Part comedian memoir, part activist manifesto. The writing is good, sometimes contentious (the fight with his wife after their son’s death is oddly disturbing). Largely about the civil rights movement, working with Edgar Mevers, MLK, marches, and funerals. researching older comedians at the library and digging into musty old books of humour. Slack Score: –12; Snark Score: 3; Overall FCA ranking: 27
7. Iliza Shlesinger, Girl Logic; the Genius and the Absurdity; (New York, Weinstein/Hachette, 2017) p.22; Capsule Review: The basic thesis here is that overthinking is the natural state of the female as opposed to the simplicity of the male and works as a survival mechanism rather than a flaw, with occasional lapses into self-help. As with her on stage persona, mildly amusing and working too hard to pass off generalizations as provocative insight. Slack Score: 7; Snark Score: 9; Overall FCA ranking: 229
8. Marc Maron, Attempting Normal (Los Angeles, Delusions, Inc., 2013) p.89. Capsule Review: Written after he seemingly found a place in the comedy community but prior to achieving real cultural ascendancy, Maron here is still very much a work in progress, professionally and psychologically. The man knows how to turn a phrase, and knows his strength is radical honesty, but I could’ve done without the dozen or so masturbation anecdotes. Every page confirms that introspection is both his brand and his addiction. Slack Score: –2; Snark Score: 7.5; Overall FCA ranking: 92

Mitch holes up in a private gym for two weeks with his newly acquired sidekick slash personal trainer Andy Richter to transform himself into a muscle-bound caped detective.

Endnotes:

1. Louie Anderson, Hi Mom: Stories for My Mother, But You Can Read Them Too (Touchstone Books, New York, 2018) p. ; Capsule Summary: Continuing the Hi Dad formula, a series of letters to the deceased matriarch of the Anderson clan. Thankfully, less traumatized and more jovial than the earlier book, but still weighted down by the plodding conceit. Most interesting aspect is the creation of Christine Baskets as a tribute to his mom and a poignant third (fourth? fifth?) act in a long and varied career. Side note: the hardest I have ever laughed was watching Louie Anderson live at the Paramount Theatre in 1991 with my father. He did a bit about stubbing his toe that had both of us gasping for air and literally falling out of our seats. Cara and I also saw him deliver the JFL keynote address in 2019 afterwhich he posed for selfies with us and was very comforting regarding our recently deceased cat Carl. His books are more therapeutic than hilarious, but he’ll always have a very warm place in my heart. Slack Score: 2; Snark Score: 7; Overall FCA ranking: 176
2. Zarna Garg, This American Woman; A One-in-a-Billiion Memoir (Ballantine, New York, 2025) p.227; Capsule Summary: A comedian origin story very much unlike any other. Garg didn’t grow up dreaming of being Joan Rivers or anything like that, in fact, she seems to have barely understood that stand up comedy existed before her daughter essentially dared her into it, following a string of entrepreneurial failures. Hers is a story of brutal impoverishment and hardship as a homeless youth on the streets of Mumbai and extraordinary wealth and privilege at various other times of her life. Like her hero and champion Kevin Hart, she is unabashedly ambitious and driven by financial rapacity. I don’t love that, and her prolonged tales of frustration with her children’s $100,000/year elementary school education were not something I found very relatable. Nevertheless, she is a talented writer and a funny human, and occupies a unique cultural perspective in the world of stand up, which is invaluable and her daughter apparently truly cares for her more than any teenager has ever cared for a parent, so that says everything you need to know about her value as a human. Slack Score: -7; Snark Score: 9; Overall FCA ranking: 115
3. Trrevor Noah, Born a Crime: Stories From a South African Childhood (One World, New York, 2016) p. 43; Capsule Summary: Regardless of your opinion of Noah as a stand up or Daily Show host (pretty mid on both fronts as far as I’m concerned) there’s no question that this is a top tier FCB. Noah’s story of growing up in South Africa semi-secretly (see the title) is riveting, wryly engaging, and tremendously moving, especially the last chapter on his mother. ; Slack Score: -9; Snark Score: 12; Overall FCA ranking: 8

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Live recording of Mitch performing at Zingers, in Sheboygan Wisconsin, on the anniversary of his father's death.