678. Does your child have an extreme, almost involuntary need for control? If everyday requests—like putting on shoes or eating breakfast—trigger an immediate fight-or-flight response, you might be parenting a child with Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA).

In this episode that first ran in June of 2022, Dr. Nanika Coor dives deep into the PDA profile, a specific symptom profile often associated with the Autism Spectrum (ASD). She explains why traditional "rewards and consequences" parenting often fails these children and how their behavior is actually a drive for safety, not a choice of defiance.

You’ll learn:

• What is PDA? The science behind the anxiety-based need for autonomy.
• The "Stress Bucket" Metaphor: How to visualize your child’s capacity for demands and prevent overflows (meltdowns).
• 8 De-escalation Strategies: Why declarative language and humor work better than direct commands.
• The Power of Co-regulation: How to shift your mindset from "making them obey" to "helping them feel safe."

Whether your child has a formal diagnosis or you’re simply struggling with a kiddo who is "extra resistant" to routine, this episode offers the respectful parenting tools you need to repair your connection and find calm in your home.

Project Parenthood is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast, hosted by Dr. Nanika Coor.

Have a question for Project Parenthood? Email: parenthood@quickanddirtytips.com

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