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Most people spend their whole lives convinced something is fundamentally wrong with them.

Marisa Peer says that belief usually started with four words someone said when you were too young to argue back: What's wrong with you?

She worked with a city trader. Best in the business. Terrified of himself. His parents spent his childhood comparing him to his sisters — two calm girls who never spilled peas or smashed toys. He heard "what's wrong with you?" so many times he eventually believed it.

One session changed everything.

Here's what Marisa found underneath almost every broken pattern: we don't repeat toxic cycles because we're weak. We repeat them because our brains are wired to chase the familiar. Even if familiar means painful.

The fix is simpler than most people expect. Make self-praise familiar. Say out loud what you always wished a loving parent had told you. Your mind doesn't know it's coming. It doesn't check if it's true. It just lets it in, like chapstick on your lips.

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