In this solo episode, I discusses the concept of shape-shifting in personal branding and self-advocacy, using the Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift engagement as a prime example. I emphasize the importance of adapting one's appearance and behavior to fit different contexts, particularly in pursuit of economic empowerment. I share my personal journey of leveraging my education and experiences to achieve my desired lifestyle while acknowledging the systemic challenges faced by marginalized groups. I advocate for strategic self-presentation to achieve short-term goals while recognizing the value of long-term social change efforts.

If you want to learn more about who I really am, start here. This episode is not just about marriage—it’s about everything that gets tied to it: worth, identity, pressure, performance, legacy, grief, and the lies we’ve been sold about what makes a life “valid.”

In this deeply personal, layered conversation, I share what I’ve never said out loud: that being married is not a flex. That we’ve been programmed—especially as Black women—to believe our worth is tethered to someone choosing us. That we are better if we become a wife, and somehow less-than if we don’t.

But I’m not just talking about relationships.

I’m unpacking the grief of losing the life I thought I’d have. The way success gets measured by boxes checked and optics maintained. What it means to be seen beyond your performance. Why some friendships fade after loss, and what it looks like to come back to yourself when everything else has changed.

We go there—into the hierarchy no one admits exists. Into legacy, into shame, into choosing yourself even when it costs you proximity, applause, or approval.

If you’ve ever felt unseen in your truth, pressured to pretend, or quietly ashamed that your life doesn’t look like the script you were handed—this is the episode to start with.

It’s not about being chosen.

It’s about choosing yourself.

I almost didn’t post this. Fitting, right? A whole episode about breaking free from perfectionism, learning to let go, and embracing spontaneity—and I sat on it for MONTHS because it isn't perfect. But here we are. ***Now mind you, I DO ramble a lot here, lol, so please give me grace!!***

In this episode, I talk about:

• High-functioning anxiety & the illusion of control
• Why overthinking is just fear in disguise
• How a spontaneous trip to Cabo forced me to loosen my grip
• Why decision paralysis keeps us stuck (and how to break free)
• The mindset shift that helps me focus on the best-case scenario instead of the worst

If you’ve ever second-guessed yourself into exhaustion, put off something because it wasn’t just right, or let overthinking talk you out of an experience—you need to hear this.

🎧 Listen now on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts & wherever you tune in.