Buckle your seatbelt—or don’t, but it’ll cost you $28.50 if you’re in a commercial vehicle—because this episode of Traffic School went straight off the rails and into the figure-eight racetrack of madness. Viktor kicked things off by roasting the name “Marvin,” clarifying commercial seatbelt fines, and then immediately derailing into a rant about budget deficits and how seatbelt tickets might be Idaho’s golden ticket to funding underground pedestrian tunnels. We got legal bumper talk—plastic vs. metal, 2x4s as DIY crash protection—and someone trying to classify their Ford Focus skeleton as street-legal. Listeners were in rare form, asking about front license plate exemptions, phantom girlfriends, and the legality of driving vehicles that look like they were built in Minecraft. The cherry on this chaotic sundae? Viktor’s bass-playing buddy Nick accidentally triggered a statewide manhunt because someone thought his mountain-man vibe matched a murder suspect’s. Choppers, feds, and Fox News all got involved before realizing they were chasing the wrong beard. Throw in truck nuts, train horns, DoorDash phone-touch paranoia, a deep dive into DOT port law, and a live lifeline call to a commercial vehicle code specialist, and you’ve got a broadcast that could only be described as bureaucratic anarchy on caffeine.

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Buckle up, because this episode was a full-throttle descent into olfactory chaos, paranormal paranoia, and artificial intelligence-induced relationship meltdowns. It all kicked off with an innocent enough question: “What’s a weird smell you like but are afraid to admit?”—which quickly spiraled into tales of smoke-drenched wicker cowboys, cowboy-themed thrift horrors, and the olfactory insanity of hot tube amps and fresh tennis balls. Then came Caveman, a caller who casually confessed his love for the scent—and taste—of blood, followed by his nostalgic craving for chainsaw bar oil-bologna sandwiches. Just when you thought it couldn’t get grosser, the conversation took a detour through gas-huffing warnings, BO fetishes, fart sniffers, and the haunting power of new guitar strings. Then it got darker. Much darker. We’re talking Annabelle-the-demon-doll-burning-down-plantations-and-killing-tour-guides-in-Gettysburg dark. Mix that with America’s deadliest train (Brightline: one kill every 13 days), a guy trying to rob a Waffle House using finger guns, and 15,000 pounds of bird poop raining down on Lake Augusta like some apocalyptic poultry-based biblical plague, and you’ve got a stew of insanity. Oh, and let’s not forget Fred Durst was declared the sexiest festival voice in the UK. Yeah. That happened. Meanwhile, Peaches had a meltdown over 497 Cannonball-related emails, JD’s drowning in cats, and a guy’s letting ChatGPT run his entire love life into the ground. This episode had blood, chainsaws, haunted dolls, poop, AI psychosis, and a warning not to swim in any lake unless you're cool with marinating in avian excrement. Five stars. Total madness. Would sniff again.

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Buckle up, because this episode of Traffic School powered by The Advocates was less a conversation and more a gasoline-soaked fever dream of mayhem, roundabouts, and unsolicited rattlesnake encounters. It opened with Viktor Wilt casually mentioning an impending warrant and a probation check-in, before launching into plans for a Salt Lake City dude’s trip with Jade and Josh—Josh being the designated “bond money babysitter,” because apparently this crew needs adult supervision to cross state lines. Meanwhile, Sergeant Crain tried to maintain some semblance of legal authority while recounting the time a Pathfinder full of teenagers went airborne off railroad tracks like a deleted scene from Fast & Furious: Eastern Idaho Drift.

Callers were unhinged and glorious. Scott demanded clarification on a mystical lane painted with a tornado, Natalie nearly got flattened by tractors on single-lane mountain roads, and John from Rexburg was aghast that his town’s nightlife revolved around Applebee’s and something called “The Pineapple,” which turned out to be a nonalcoholic soda shack. Bikers, burnout bros, truckers with digital middle fingers, and folks just trying to not explode their oil tankers all chimed in. Questions ranged from “Can I speed in the left lane?” (no, Instagram lied to you) to “Can I do burnouts in the street?” (only if you're upwind and in Rigby).

Oh, and somewhere between the chaos, someone asked about a mysterious red arrow law and was advised to just make their own sign. Because in Idaho, common sense is optional, but sarcasm is the real traffic control device.

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Strap in and prepare your digestive system, because this episode was certifiably unhinged. Viktor (yes, with a K, like some kind of Eastern European meat wizard) unleashed total food-fueled chaos on the airwaves. The man opened the floodgates by declaring war on anyone who dares say, "I don't like pizza." He practically demanded that such heretics call in and defend their anti-pizza lifestyle, offering up a hotline like it was a confessional booth for the tastebud-impaired. And from there? It spiraled.

Burgers, tacos, fries, chocolate—Viktor whipped up a buffet of irresistible, artery-clogging temptation. There was a passionate breakdown of why ketchup might be the most powerful food on Earth, and an intense side rant about people who eat "low-carb" burgers, aka "a sad little beef frisbee." But the real meat tsunami hit when JD called in and dropped the meat towel bombshell: bagels, slathered—no, smothered—in jalapeño cream cheese. Thick. Heavy. Borderline NSFW levels of dairy. Viktor and JD went full grease prophet, preaching the gospel of saturated fat with zero remorse. It was beautiful. It was horrifying. It was delicious.

Then things took a sharp turn into horror cinema, with Viktor screaming praise for Final Destination: Bloodline and Bring Her Back, and frothing at the mouth over Ari Aster’s upcoming freak-fest Eddington. He’s got the A24 pass, he’s ready to weep in a theater, and he might never emotionally recover. Meanwhile, his caffeine-fueled monologue wandered into conspiracy territory as he ranted about the Epstein client list vanishing into the abyss, uniting comment sections from both political extremes. That's right—hell hath frozen, and Reddit agrees on something.

As if that wasn’t enough chaos, Viktor went absolutely nuclear over Provo, Utah canceling a dance fitness class called Dirtylicious because it dared show—brace yourselves—knees. He called it Footloose 2: Mormon Boogaloo and went on a hilarious tirade about how anyone offended by sports bras is just pretending. It was peak Viktor: unfiltered, furious, and oddly supportive of women’s empowerment through sweaty Britney Spears choreography.

Finally, there was talk of chimpanzees starting fashion trends with butt-grass (yes, seriously), heroic dogs saving glacier-trapped humans, and a desperate Amazon Prime Day shopping spiral where Viktor considered buying a dehumidifier mid-show. Also, he lost the Pantera ticket giveaway sounder and had a mild on-air breakdown about it.

In summary: this episode had everything—meat towels, dance censorship, conspiracy rants, horror hype, and a grown man contemplating death-by-Reese’s. Absolute madness. 10/10. Would listen again while eating a Culver’s burger with reckless abandon.

(0:00) Foods that people are powerless to resist
(8:27) Final Destination Bloodlines, Bring Her Back
(14:48) Culvers offering a few discounts today
(19:47) Chimpanzee fashion trends, chihuahua saves man trapped in glacier, Prime Day deals
(26:33) Provo, Utah hates dancing
(35:01) There is no Epstein list?
(43:18) Jade wants me to smell his meat towel
(50:50) Smelling Jade's meat towel with Josh and Chantel from Classy 97

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(0:00) Nate Eaton to interview Lori Daybell
(3:51) Real Men Don't _________
(9:32) Unprofessional behavior that immediately got an employee fired
(14:22) More on the East Idaho News interview with Lori Daybell
(17:54) Mother gives kids drugs, mother lets kid drive, Facebook to generate AI images from your photos, tattoo errors
(23:26) New slide in Japan leads to broken bones day of opening
(25:12) People being committed and jailed due to ChatGPT psychosis
(29:43) The universe has a self destruct button
(34:03) Jade smashed his finger, 4th of July is coming up
(40:43) Talking about more AI stuff with Peaches
(45:19) Kid saved by gorilla at zoo
(48:21) Squid Game finale, watching tv and movies with subtitles or dubbing

Strap in, because this episode of The Viktor Wilt Show was like getting launched out of a cannon filled with expired fireworks and landing face-first into a flaming dumpster of American absurdity. Viktor kicked off with a double-barreled dose of chaos from Idaho and Utah, where people are allegedly setting fires just to ambush first responders—because apparently the only thing hotter than the flames is the mental instability. Then he spiraled into a rabbit hole of Lori Daybell clips, server crashes, and Nate Eaton ghosting him harder than a haunted ex. If you thought things might calm down, nope—this episode was peppered with tales of “Real Men Don’t Eat Salad” alpha-morons, like a dude who refused soup until it was rebranded as “Viking Soup,” and another who thought gloves were for wimps... while melting his hands with cleaning chemicals.

But it didn’t stop there—Victor served up a buffet of workplace idiocy: fire alarms pulled for fun, prototype tires stolen and slapped on cars right there in the company lot, and CDs left in government computers with... extremely illegal content. Then came the Freak News parade: 9-year-olds joyriding in the rain, Facebook sneakily turning your photos into AI abominations, and elderly people launching themselves off death-slides in Japan. Speaking of AI nightmares, Viktor went full sci-fi horror describing ChatGPT psychosis, rogue pickle monsters, and seagulls forming violent militias. And somewhere in the middle of it all, he dropped nuggets of wisdom about Idaho's unbearable traffic, Peaches' cat allergies, and the universe's potential to nuke itself via vacuum collapse.

By the end, Viktor and Peaches were spiraling into heatstroke existentialism while hyping up Riverfest like it’s the last party before Skynet boots up. This episode wasn’t just a rollercoaster—it was a flaming Tilt-a-Whirl colliding with a collapsing Jenga tower made of weird news, dumb dudes, and brain-melting AI dread. Glorious chaos from start to finish.

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What was this episode?! It started with “partying with the cops” and quickly spiraled into a full-throttle fever dream of air horn law, vibrating foghorn patrol cars, train-horn-toting maniacs, truck nut evasion strategies, and wild cat vs. snake standoffs. Lieutenant Crain fought through a week of madness, one call at a time, while Viktor Wilt juggled a busted headlight, exploding taillight emotions, and the existential dread of buying overpriced black license plates that still have “world famous potatoes” printed on them. Callers? Oh, they brought it: one dude wanted to walk around in a Speedo for the lulz, another accidentally admitted to running a mobile poop empire without a CDL, and someone’s dad might be a Speedo-wearing anti-ID anarchist carpenter/fixer who may or may not be breaking federal law. There were bees weaponized against law enforcement, a cat named Lucy’s mom who now lives inside Lieutenant Crain’s shadow, and the shocking revelation that all Idaho cops are now forced to drink tap water like peasants. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any more unhinged—boom—someone tries to name their cat Chernobyl. Radio gold. Absolute chaos. No notes.

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Buckle up, because this episode of the Viktor Wilt Show was an absolute fever dream of chaos, caffeine, and catfish violence. It started with a relatable tale of charger woes and anxiety-induced alarm setups, but it escalated fast into the saga of a Florida man who thought it was totally logical to crash his EV through a restaurant just to juice up at the bar — yes, like with a car charger, not a cocktail. Then we plummeted into Reddit hell where some poor guy’s parents convinced him his girlfriend was ugly, which derailed into a wild philosophical debate about subjective beauty and crooked metalhead teeth. And just when you think things couldn’t get weirder — BAM — a Spanish beekeeper got hammered, unleashed a swarm of bees on the cops, and drove off into the night like some apian supervillain. We’re still not okay.

But WAIT, there’s more! Viktor took a detour through consumer therapy with a breakdown of under-$300 life-improving gadgets, like electric toothbrushes gathering dust, mystery pillows that never deliver, and terrifying robot vacuums offered by rogue listeners. He then jumped into the icy horror of 24 inches of Montana snow ruining people’s camping trips, while in New York, kids were dying from subway surfing like it’s Tony Hawk's death wish expansion pack. Then came the bear in Greece who launched a man off a cliff like it was Street Fighter — fatality style.

But hey, at least a giant catfish attacking swimmers in Germany was finally brought to justice via police bullets. Justice for Kuno the Killer!

We took a spin through ragebait GTA VI headlines that mean nothing, then slammed face-first into geopolitical dread with rising gas prices courtesy of Middle East chaos. But don’t worry — Viktor reassured us with news that Earth might just spiral into the sun thanks to a rogue star. Oh, and if that’s not stressful enough, apparently you’re statistically more likely to die on your birthday. Yay!

Amidst all this madness, Crumble dropped a weirdly glorious Benson Boone cookie that tasted like moonbeam-lemon-Oreo-insanity, and a heated takedown of pop industry plants unfolded, dragging Freddie Mercury, Rick Rubin, and Reddit keyboard warriors into the fray. Viktor and Peaches also discussed the psychological warfare of watching someone dance in the front row of a movie theater, debated masked bands and musical authenticity, and ended with a PSA: don’t swim where catfish are named like horror movie villains.

This was not just a show. It was a multi-dimensional explosion of dumb news, weird cookies, angry fish, nuclear bears, and anti-charging-station rage. Truly unhinged.

(0:00) Alarm clock woes, man smashes electric vehicle into restaurant to charge his car
(2:26) Parents constantly telling redditor that his girlfriend is unattractive
(6:18) Items under $300 that may improve your quality of life
(13:01) Drunk driver unleashes bees on the police
(15:17) The weather sucked last weekend, subway surfing is a terrible idea, bear throws man off of cliff, tree falls on camper
(21:03) GTA 6 articles are the worst kind of clickbait
(24:54) Gas prices going through the roof after the US bombs Iran
(31:07) You might die on your birthday
(35:44) Katie Lee from Z103 brings by the new Benson Boone Crumbl cookie
(39:03) Religious discussion at Indiana bar leads to fist fight and arrests
(41:44) The earth may soon be chucked into the sun

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This episode of Traffic School was straight-up vehicular mayhem mixed with emotional chaos, caffeine-fueled banter, and absurd masculinity rules that made zero sense but somehow made perfect radio. Viktor Wilt and Lieutenant Crain kicked things off with unhinged workplace rants, slapping metaphors, and financial threats directed at poor Jade for not giving Viktor a raise. Viktor confessed he was “too manly” to ride another man’s boat, and that sparked a testosterone-fueled spiral of logic so deranged, it broke the laws of reason—and likely Idaho boating statutes.

Then came the trucker calls, with long-haulers phoning in to complain about lane governors and passing speeds, and Viktor gleefully declaring he’d own a trucking company purely to enrage motorists by blocking lanes with smug delight. From there, things nosedived into full lunacy as Carl, the unofficial fourth host, called in to talk Mustang detailing, illicit snow cone distribution, and Fourth of July bootlegging. Meanwhile, Crain tried to jump things on e-bikes, and the city considered outlawing fun entirely via new ordinances. More madness ensued as listeners asked about bumper height legality, lane-splitting confusion, front plate requirements, bridge jumping laws, and fireworks regulations—all while casually confessing to questionable childhood decisions, forgotten TV references, and calling DJs “babe” by accident.

This episode wasn’t just traffic school—it was a demolition derby of the mind, driven by chaos, powered by The Advocates, and barely held together by a phone line and the dim hope that someone, somewhere, learned something. Probably not.

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