A pizza toast to a three-day weekend, even if that's not a true statement when you're listening. Make sure to use a food probe device (patent pending) before tasting it. You can find them at any old consignment store, right next to the dozens of knockoff copies of that book by a former president businessman.

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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart

Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t

Recording this podcast takes finesse, much like fly fishing. Chris drops some knowledge about drippy adventure gear (not his pants), Eli lands the perfect Leo-based alternative title, and we've decided to change the show name to D'Best ArthurP'cast.

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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart

Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t

Our contractors had some concerns during their inspection of this episode. They found too many inaccurate Oppenheimer references. Also, a complete inability to roll r's (or l's or any consonants really). They recommend re-specing into luck to address these problems. Your best bet to find clovers would be that patch of dirt and garbage where the marble players are at. NOW SCATTER!

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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart

Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t

Three ways to tell if your crush is into you:

They grab pizza like a book.

They wear funeral clothes to the opera.

Their armpit farts kill at the Nobel Awards Presentation.

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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart

Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t

"Time gets weird, I think it's been looped. Binky dreams big, and Arthur gets duped. Seinfeld is dangerous, bad for your health. If it's a mafioso's birthday, you better share the wealth."

A poem from a 20th century writer you've never heard of (but now you have!)

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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart

Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t

History buffs are in for a TREAT, unless they're fans of a certain type of economic system that will not be mentioned. Hint: It's modeled after Monopoly (which Eli won't play if there are too many rules). Yabba dabba doo!

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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart

Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t

Your top headlines this week: "America's Horn Shortage: Fact or Fiction?" "Horses Hoof it out of Elwood to Erie" "Bitzi's Beau No Mo Fo Sho" and "Top Ten Thangs to Protect Those Fangs"

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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart

Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t

You're traveling through another dimension…one where bicycle helmets are a cultural taboo. Where apology videos no longer cut it. And everyone's neighbor teaches life lessons the hard way. Your destination? The Sugarbowl eerie music cue

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Artwork: Tori Nelson @ facebook.com/torinelsonart

Music: Kurt Statz @ ox4.li/32t